FALLING RAIN: Chapter Two - "Öppna Din Dör"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Two – Öppna Din Dör

After a falling rain, there’s always a rainbow.

Over the rainbow, there’s always a sun light.

My hope, my love would never die.

As long as I am being here, alive.

No, I was not knocked down to ground with a broken, bleeding, aching heart full of pain this time. However, it does not mean I have forgotten and let go.

I found myself diverged in two completely different persons. It could be said I have an “Alter Ego”. There was a part of me that loved Molly, that was happy with her.

Yet, there was another part... that loved Danny, which I tried to silent as hard as I could, when our ways separeted.

I even succeeded ignoring it, my own feelings and emotions. I own this success to my work that kept me busy all this time, and my girlfriend... Molly, that took care of me and generously accepted me as I am.

Molly’s reaction to all I hided from here surprised me. At first, because it shocked me that in the end I turned to be the only fool around.

The thought Molly knows everything from the beginning never crossed my mind. Either I am blind, either Molly deserves an oscar... I think the two options are correct.

The race I runned against myself, trying to escape my other side – I lost. I lost it on one day, when it was raining outside. When, Janna, Danny’s girlfriend – came to my apartment at 7 AM in the morning to speak with me.

Both me and Molly were deeply asleep, while someone was knocking on the door of our apartment so hard that it had awoken me.

What the hell... I thought to myself. Who is the madman knocking on doors at this hour? I asked myself.

I tried to go back asleep, hoping who ever that was will simply go away. But that did not happen. Unwillingly, I got up and reached the door.

-“Who’s there?” I asked.

-“It’s me, Janna.” A female voice answered me, and suddenly my eyes openned wide. Starbucks was nothing compared to it.

-“Janna...?” I asked, and openned the door not waiting for the answer.

-“Yes, oh, hello Eric! I am so sorry to... interrupt your sleeping, and annoying you at such hour. But, the thing is that I have to speak to you right now. It’s important, you kn-“ She said, and I interrupted her.

-“Yes, Janna. I know it is important. Come on, get in, we’ll drink coffee and then, when we are both concisious, discuss whatever it is.” I said. Tough, I had a certain idea what she came to talk with me. Regardless our friendship, there was only one thing that could make Janna to knock on my door at 7 AM – Danny.

-“Of course.” She said in agreement, and got in.

I went to the kitchen and prepared coffee for us. Afterwards, I got back, and sat next to Janna. After we finnished some cups, Janna finally spoke.

-“Eric, look, I have a feeling you know exactly what brought me here, but, I will say it anyways. It is about Danny. I am worried about him.” Janna said.

-“Something is wrong with him? Is he feeling bad?” I asked.

-“Physically? He is alright. Still recovering, but everything is good. Nothing to worry. I’m talking about his spirit. He is...” She said, and I interrupted here.

-“What?” I asked, worried.

-“Completely out of his mind!” She said, and sighed.

-“What happened?!” I shouted.

-“He is depressed, thinking about suicide. In the past few days, Danny had not spoke to anybody, and today... he left the house without even telling me, and when he got back... I found out he had joined ‘Crashdiet’ “. She told me, leaving me shocked, speechless. No way, it can’t be true! I thought

-“What?!” I re-asked, shouting even louder.

-“Eric, you ought to speak with him!” Molly said, suddenly, appearing out of under. Then, I realised I must be speaking so loud that I woke her up.

-“Oh, Molly, sorry... I guess I was too loud.” I said, in apology, and wanted to explain her but... She did not let me.

-“It’s alright. Hi Janna!” She said, and reached her to give her a welcoming kiss. What the fuck? I asked myself.

-“Hi Molly, nice to see you again.” Janna greated her, and kissed her back.

Again? What the fuck is going on here? Sounds as if they sad secret meetings.

-“So... Eric, I don’t know what to do. I’m lost.” Janna after a short pause.

-“If you are lost, so am I.” I replied. What ccan I do?

-“No, Eric. You’re wrong. If there’s any person in this world that can save Danny from himself, it is you. I know it.” She stated, with such a confidence that I almost believed her.

-“I nearly killed him. How the hell can I save him?!” I responded, afterward.

-“You can!” Molly said, all of the sudden and I turned to stare at her. They really had secret meating behind my back.

-“Look since he is part of ‘Crashdiet’ now, I believe London will get some sense in his brain. I know the guy, he-“ I begun to say, and saw the change in Janna’s expression.

-“You think?” She asked with a hope, interrupting me.

-“Yes, I do. Me staying away will be better for the two of us. Trust me.” I noted.

-“What if not...?” She questioned. I had the feeling she was asking herself this question more than she was asking me.

-“I don’t think Danny will go that far. He is not that crazy. Let’s give him and Peter a chance.” I said. I cleary did not believe Danny would... I couldn’t even think about it.

-“What if it doesn’t work?” Molly asked, from the tone I could tell she did not really believed in it. But, Molly did not know peter.

-“We’ll think of something. Although I believe it will. Danny is not that crazy. He will be back to norm soon, it will pass...” I ensured them, well, tried to.

-“I hope so, Eric, I hope...” Janna said.

-“Everything will be OK.” I calmed her.

-“Yeah, sure, thank you for speaking to me Eric, and Molly... Sorry for bothering.” Janna thanked us, and smiled in apology.

-“It’s OK, Janna. If something changes... let me know.” I asked her.

-“And me too, please.” Molly added, and I had the feeling this phrase had hidden meanings, but I it did not bother me.

-“Sure, I will. Of course. See you!” Janna said.

-“Goodbye” Me and Molly said together, as Janna stood up and walked away.

We stood, me and Molly, next to each other silently for a few minutes.

-“Eric... I think Janna was right. You should speak to each other.” Molly said afterwards.

-“It will only make things worse, Molly.” I said, we both sighed, and went back asleep.

Tough, none of us really slept.

I closed my eyes and let the awaiting pain rain over me. It was not usual pain, I was not hurt. Tough, that did not make it better – only worse.

My love, my true love, Danny is hurt.
Somewhere out there he is lost in his own pain.
Somewhere out there he is, all alone, searching for an escape.

The rain will not help, the rain will not wash it all away.

There’s nothing, nothing I can do – but pray.

My tears are falling, tears of shame... Falling rain.

FALLING RAIN: Chapter One - "New Tomorrow"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

PROLOGUE – The Audition

-“No.” I said finally after long doubts, and sighed. I considered this option for a while, long days, long nights were spent... so much doubts run across my head until I have finally menaged to decide. –“No.” I said again and sighed.

-“Why not?” Peter demanded. It was clear he would not live me alone until I confess the truth, the things I never told anyone – and to be honest, I do not want to tell. –“Danny, why not? You have to...” He continued.

-“Give it another try? Think a little more?” I completed his phrase, interupting him. –“Peter, look, I already did, believe me. I do not fit it. I cannot pull that off. I will always feel out of place I... just cannot!”

-“Dave would...” He had begun to say, but stopped, when he noticed the tears in my eyes streaming down. When he mentioned my departed cousin, who was like a brother to me, maybe even more... my idol, my inspiration.

-“No, he would not...” I said in tears.

Peter put his hand on my shoulder, and said, in a cheering tone:

-“Come on, Danny, from all the people in the world – Da... I mean, he would want you to continue “Crashdiet”. You know it.”

I did. He was right. I did. But it didn’t change anything.

-“Peter... I can’t!” I said, and looked down – fighting my tears.

-“Why?” He questioned me.

-“You know why, Peter.” He knew exactly why, only he wanted me to admit it.

-“No, I don’t.” He lied away, and I sighed.

-“You just want to make me say it, out loud.” I stated. At this point, unable to control my own tears.

-“Then do it. Man must face his fears, and admit it. Danny, admiting fears is not a weakness – it’s a strenght!” He said.

-“Peter...” I said, unable to continue.

We looked at each other for a while, deep into the eyes – not speaking.

Afterwards, Peter sighed, and said:

-“You are afraid to end up like Dave, aren’t you?” Peter asked me. I had a feeling this was a rhetorical question, since we both knew the answer to it before it was even asked.

-“Yes, I am.” I admited.

-“Oh, and you really believe pop-music changes something?” He asked, while looking deep into my eyes.

-“I do.” I confessed.

-“Well, okay then, Danny. Good luck, oh, and remember – the doors will always be openned for you, if you change your mind at some point. I have a feeling, sooner or later, the day will follow...” He said to me that day.

And I? I simply ran away...

Chapter One – New Tomorrow

Time passed by, but I did not give it a thought anymore. New morning, new tomorrow, day followed by another... yet, all of them, were just the same for me – wasted, thrown away.

I was sick, tired – both physically and mentally from my own life.

I felt lost, all alone by myself – standing in the dark. Without a light that might guide me to the next step.

In the past few months, my life has changed 180º degrees, straight to the opposite direction. From the happy, complete man I was – nothing was left but the pieces of my broken, aching heart.

My physical condition was low, for obvious reason, called the long, exhausting recovery process from the car accident I had few months ago.

I felt so worn out, out of place, never ever in my life I felt this weak.

And mentally... Depression, sadness, tears, thoughts... about the end. All those did not leave me for a second, until the point I considered myself insane.

If not Janna, my girlfriend, I would probably be lying under the gravestone now.

Even ”Thank you” and “I Love you, Janna” I was unable to tell her, such a miserable, cruel creature I was.

I truly hated myself. Not only I distroyed myself, I also made all my family, my girlfriend, my friends... to go through all this mess caused by me being stupid.

And most importantly, Er... Eric.

During all this time, I have continuesly tried to remove Eric’s name, image, and memories of him out of my mind. And I continuesly failed reaching it.

I frequently caught myself lying, trying to convice myself that one day – it will be over, the pain, the tears, the fears, all this mess.

Time heals. But the scares still show.

“Soon, everything will be alright” I used to say to myself. “I will be able to move on, to get through, start things over again... to forget, let go...”.

All those lies I told myself on a daily basis, until the point I sincerely used to believe in them.

Those were my last pieces of hope. Hope that soon, had vanished away – as my eyes were openned, and I woke up from the dream, the ilusion I lived in.

Nothing. Nothing was of me.

Eric. Sigh. No matter how much time passed, how far was the physical, and mental distance between us...

His name always brought up the memories I wanted to bury deep inside me, so they will never pop up, memories I wanted to hide, to forget.

Eric. My lover, my life. My manboy...

At those lonely nights, when I was sleepless, I used to think of him. How is he doing? Has he gotten over me?  I asked myself, secretely hoping for a negative answer for the second question.

As much as I wanted to deny it. I love him. I always did, and I always will.
The thoughts about him really drove me out of my mind.

I knew, what is done – is done, and cannot be undone – no matter how hard I want it, to go back, to change the reality. I can’t. I can’t.

It was one of those days, I had looked at the sky and let my thoughts run freely around my brain. It was one of those days I used to think about my future, look up for solutions for my problems.

I need a change! I thought, It cannot continue this way. I will completely destroy myself if I go on this way. I need a change... before it gets too late.  I realised.

But what kind of change? Where will it lead me?

In the following days, I have given a lot of thoughts to upcoming, planned change. To be honest, I did not know what shall I do. Well, more correctly, I trying to deny it as much as I could – sensing it might be wrong, and lead to... the end. Tough, at this point, when nothing was left of me – no hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending. I did not bother to care, no longer.

I never wanted to do this. I always believed it was not my thing at all.

But at this point, I hated myself so much – that I did not want to be Danny Saucedo anymore. I wanted to change myself alongside with my life, completely.

I have picked up my phone, and dailed the number of probably the only person I could talk to. Peter London.

-“Hello, Peter!” I greated him, as he answered. –“It’s me. I’m Danny.”

-“Oh, Hello there, Danny. We haven’t spoke for quiet a while, how are you doing?” Peter asked me in response.

-“Fine... listen, can we talk?”

-“Sure!” He said, and added: “What are we doing now?”

-“Yes, I know. What I meant was one on one conversation. It’s very important to me, I... I’ll tell you, when we see each other.” I told him.

-“No problem, man. Can I come over you now?” He suggested.

-“Look, Peter, I’m so tired of being stuck at home as a phsycho. Can be please go out... to a bar? There’s one near my appartment for that metter.” I offered.

-“Sure thing. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. See you!”. He accepted my offer.

-“See you, thanks for... coming, Peter.” I said, hang up, and went out.

The smell of fresh air, the taste of freedom... it surprised me a bit at first. It has been a while since I left the house. I even felt homesick at the beginning, tough, as the desire of freedom burned within me – this feeling was gone.

In less than five minutes I was already in that bar, where we agreed to meet each other. After few minutes, Peter had arrived.

-“Look, Peter. I have heard your lead singer had left the band. So, I’m guessing you are looking for another one. I want to try out.” I said to him, straight as he sat down infront of me, without an introduction.

I just let the unspoken words I wanted to say for a while to be told.

The following few minutes were surrounding my silence, Peter looked at me with questining eyes... until his expression changed, and was replaced with a smile.

It was exactly how I realised he understood all I wanted to say, without even opening my mouth to speak out.

He was brilliant. Since the first time we have been introduced to each other, Peter expressed his unique ability to understand everything, and a word was not needed to be said.

-“Welcome back, Danny. I knew you it will occur one day...” He said.

-“Yes, you did. You still remember that conversation?” I questioned him, and he nodded in response.

-“Now,” He said, sighed –“Now, let’s go talking with the others. Martin and Eric.” He added, and looked at me with a strange look I could not decode, that quickly disappeared, before I was able to think.

-“Yes! Let’s.” I said in agreement and stood up.

Peter drove me in his car to Crashdiet’s studio, and watched my... reaction to the car. The accident left traumatic memories regarding cars within me, as much as I knew nothing ought to happen – I still was scared to death in the car, mainly because of the memories that haunted me.

Crashdiet studio itself was located at one of Stockholm’s less “glamorous” streets, in the same place as it was... before, few years ago.

As I entered, I noticed that much did not change her since I used to spend a lot of time there, with the guys, back in 2006.

Martin Sweet, and Er... Eric Young, by whose name painful memories of another Eric I knew were awoken within me.

-“Hello guys!” I greated them, warmly. To be honest, I was happy to see them. I knew they are probably the only people I could talk to about my problems, who would, in addition to listening – also understand me.

-“Look who came! Danny! It’s been a while!” Martin said, and stood up, followed by Eric Young, and reached me.

-“Hello Daniel!” Eric Young greated me, and the three of them – Martin, Eric Young, and Peter - hugged me.

In the first time in all those months full of stress, pain, emptyness and tears... I felt more or less complete, happy, I felt that I belonged there – with the guys.

Which was against all the odds. Was it the new beginning for me, or the road to the end? I did not know yet.

FLLING RAIN: Introduction!

After a lot of time I spent thinking about this issue, I have decided to continue writing my fanfiction.

The reasons behind this decision are:

1. My love and passion for writing. For me, writing is important. I clearly see my future related to writing.
2. I love Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade. Don’t you see? I don’t think any further comment is needed here.
3. All of you, my amazing readers, have given me a lot of support and motivation to continue doing what I do. I got a lot of feedbacks asking me to continue, and if that makes you happy... I’m glad.

But, before we go on, there are some things I want you to know, in order to avoid misunderstanding.

ALL THE EVENTS DESCRIBED IN MY STORY ARE FULLY FICTIONAL.

CLOSING

The stroy behind my fanfiction is the love between Danny and Eric. As you see, their relationship might seem unsual in many ways to others, and them included.

But, in fact, isn’t love the same for everyone...? It is.

Both Danny and Eric fear the depth their emotions, this hidden fear trapped inside the two of them – does not let them see their relationship in a serious way.

That’s why, in my story, they think “It’s not meant to be”, “Love is just not enough”.

Their relationship, in fact, is not complecated at all – they only make it this way, and furthermore, they truly believe it is complicated.

Of course, to you, it might seem a bit weird, as I see through your responses, “If they love each other so passionately, why can’t they just be happy?”.

But don’t humans just tend out of their nature to make things complicated?

CHARACTERS

My story has two main characters, Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade. My story, so far, has been told from Eric’s point of view. Tough, this is going to change.

Here are short “biographies” of the characters in my story, note, some of them have not yet appeared in the story – but they will.

Eric Saade – Until now, the story has been told from Eric’s point of view. In my story, he is very sensetive, especially toward what people think about him, a bit fragile, emotional that tends to “over-react”.

Eric is very kind, caring, and moral. He is capable of love, he is very loving.

People surrounding him mean a lot to him, and he tries to do everything in his power to make them happy, sometimes, even in the price of his happiness.

He frequently tends to feel guilty. He is dependant.

Actually, the best word I can use to describe Eric will be the world “Manboy”.

Danny Saucedo – He is a very emotional who hides it, and aswell, Danny tends to over-react. To him, what clearly is important is to “be the man in the relationship”. Besides, for Danny, it’s even harder that Eric to admit he has feelings for a man.

Stability is important to Danny, he is afraid to change something in his life – since he worries it might lead to bad consequences.

He has Janna, his girlfriend, and Eric, his true love – he was thinking to let it go, until the moment he realised it’s impossible and he must choose.

He couldn’t choose, so he decided to leave things the way they were before, thinking it would be better. But will it?

Molly Sandén – Erig’s girlfriend. Her role in the story is very small, yet so importnant. To some, it might seem that Molly is living in a reality of her own, but in fact, she uses this as masquerade. If you had read the story carefully until the end, you’ll see Molly knows everything – and she always did.

Molly cares for Eric, that’s why she was pretending to “not notice” what’s really going on. Tough, she is angry with Danny for hurting Eric.

Janna Lundh Gränesjö – Danny’s girlfriend. Her role in the story was small aswell, yet it was to called “key role” – that had enormous inpact on the story as you might noticed if you had read it until the end.

Janna and Danny have been together for a while. They know everything about eachother.

Janna cares a lot for Danny, she knows their relationship is based more on stability, dependancy than... feelings. She realises everything from the beginning.

Erik Segerstedt and Mattias Andréasson –  Members of E.M.D, funny, out-going, friendly, caring, open-minded people.

It might seem to you that Erik and Matte’s part was what lead to the twist in the story, but, in fact – let me inform you it is not true.

Their’s expression in my native language, hebrew, that says: “The straw that broke down the cammel” – the small, meaningless thing, that lead into a crisis.

The crisis in the relationship between Danny and Eric existed a while ago, and doesn’t has anything to do with Erik and Matte.

The incident with Erik and Matte, was just that small, little thing that... lead into the crisis. The little match that lighted up the powder keg.

Dave Lepard - The former lead singer of the Swedish sleazy metal band called Crashdiet. Have was a drug addict, suffered from depression, and has commited a suicide. He was Danny Saucedo’s cousin – they were really close to each other.

Have was Danny’s inspiration, “Genious” as he called him...

Altough, Dave will not appear in the fanfiction in anyway, his story is important for better understand my fanfiction.

Peter London - The bassist of the band “Crashdiet” founded by Dave Lepard. Very down to earth, open minded, spiritual and sweet guy.

He was very close to Dave, closer than the any other members of the band.

In my story, he is also close to Danny, and knows Eric.

Martin Sweet, Eric Young – Members of “Crashdiet” aswell. Martin is the guitarist, and Eric Y. is the drummer.

They are out-going, funny, spiritual, down to earth and open-minded. Just like Peter London.

*Simon Cruz – To avoid confusion, please, read thos lines really carefully. Simon is the currect lead singer of the band in the reality, but in my story, he leaves the band due to the fact the stressfull situation is too hard for him.

*Olli Herman – Former lead singer of “Crashdiet”. He was the replace for the departed Dave Lepard. He had left the band due to inability to keep up with the mood, it was to depressed, to stressfull for him.

Also, he wanted to dedicate more time to his own band, “Reckless Love”.

*Both Olli and Simon will not have a part in the story itself, tough, it is important to know their stories.

INTRODUCTION

The following story is a fanfiction. Which means, that all the events describes here are purely fictional. Sometimes, they are not even based on the reality.

This specific story is the less-realistic from the previous two ones.

As you may have guessed, it will be more centred around Danny Saucedo, unlike the first two – that were centred around Eric Saade.

Also, it involves eliments from “Crashdiet”. So, for better understand, and for your general musical knowledge – I suggest you listening to them.

This stroy continues, in a way, the previous two ones. Tough, as I said, it will be different in many ways – as you will see soon.

All the “If Only You” chapters:

http://dannysaucedofans.blogspot.com/search/label/If%20Only%20You

All the “There’s a Place For Us” chapters:

http://dannysaucedofans.blogspot.com/search/label/There%27s%20a%20Place%20for%20Us

I would like to say again – that this fanfiction is based on the imagination of the author, me, Nika H.All events described here are completely fictional, and sometimes, even not based on the reality as you may understand.

NOTE: The fanfiction, due to it’s content, is unappropriate for minnors.

Personal Note

Before we go on, I would to wish you a good time reading my fanfiction. I sincerely hope you will enjoy it, and I promise to do everything in my power to guarantee you this.

Any based feedback, that shows respect, will be appreciated and welcomed.

CONTACT information:

Twitter:
www.twitter.com/DannySGFans

Facebook:
www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans

E-mail:
DannySaucedoFans@LIVE.com

Yours truly, Nika.

THERE'S A PLACE FOR US - Chapter No.10 - "There's a Place For Us"

“There's a Place For Us” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Ten – There’s A Place For Us

Time passed. There was no sight of Danny – no calls, no messages, no e-mails, no nothing. He just did not want to see, to hear, to know about – me.

All I knew, thanks to his girlfriend Janna, Erik and Matte of E.M.D, and the press - was that he was O.K.

I listened to what London told me once, I stayed away from him, I gave him time – as much as he would need.

I did not want Danny to be hurt, I did not want Danny to suffer.

I did not want this to get worse – and I knew, my presence, will lead to that.

“If you see things go wrong with Danny. If you see that your love and your presence do not lead to good for him, let it go – before it gets to late.”
As london said to me.

I tried to be normal – for Molly, for my friends, for my family.

The weird part of it, was that I actually succeeded.

I went to Spain with Molly and our families for my vocation, I continued my summer tour called “Made of Pop”, I hanged out with my friends...

Of couse, I have been missing Danny like crazy. It’s not that there was no pain, no vain – it’s that this time, I learned how to control it.

I left those feelings and my tears to the time I was alone, locked in my studio.

One day, as I got home, Molly was waiting for me – with a letter.

-“Eric, this is for you, from Danny. I’ve found it in the mail box today” She said, and handed me the letter.

What the fuck? Why Danny writes letters to me? What have he written in this letter what he couldn’t say to me... on the phone, face to face...? I thought, as I oppened it, and begun to read.

Eric. I am so sorry for doing things this way, knowing it is wrong and cruel. But, it’s the only possible way left for us, trust me, it will be the best – for both of us.

I will not lie telling you that I don’t love you anymore, because I do, truly – I do.

I love you Eric, I love you more than words can express. I will always love you.
It doesn’t change anything, tough. Sorry.

No, I do not want to go – but aswell, I cannot stay.

Yes, I want to remember – but aswell, I need to forget.

There are so many words trapped inside me, words I would like to tell you.

Yet, all I can write, is this pathetic goodbye message. Sorry.

I sincerely hope you will forgive me one day.

I swear that my heart will remain forever yours.

Te amo. Te quiero. Lo siento.

Who knows?

“....A world when you and I belong,
When fate and love will keep as stong,
Exactly who we are is just enough...

There’s a place for us... There’s a place for us...”

Everytime I will close my eyes, I will see your face.

Everytime I will dream at night, I will dream of you.

Sorry it has to be this way.

Sorry nothing could be changed.

Love is not enough sometimes.

Adiós,

Danny.

The blood run out of my face, the letter fell out of my hands.

I stood here, in front of Molly, shocked and speechless.

-“Eric!” She said, -“Eric you alright, what the hell is going on?” She demanded.

I could not answer her. I remained silent.

Molly looked into my eyes for few second, and then, hesistately, she picked up Danny’s letter from the floor, and begun to read it.

I did not stop her. I saw no reason to do it, now, that everything was officially over.

I had the feeling deep inside me that the end was near.

But hearing... the final words was something I could not handle.

If before, I had the smallest hope for us – not it had vanished away, leaving what’s left of me behind.

Vad vore jag... utan dina andetag...?* I thought.

-”So... it was Danny. All the time it was Danny... I knew it.” Molly said, and handed me the letter back.

-“I’m sorry Molly.” I said, willing to fall down on my knees and beg for pardon if that would be necessary. Losing her I would not stand.

-“Me too...” She said.

-“For what?”

-“For what happened to you with Danny. I think I understand now, more or less, some details are missing, tough... Can you tell me?” She asked me.

I did not answer. Not because I did not want to, I just... couldn’t get those words out of my mouth. Physically and mentally.

-“You need to be alone.” Molly said, as I remained quiet. It wasn’t a question – it was a statement, and God, the girl was so right. –“Then go away, Eric – go to your studio, be alone as much as you need. I will be waiting for you, always...” She said, leaving me with shocked expression.

-“Molly... Molly... Thank you, for everything. No words enough to tell you how much I love you.” I said, and hugged her. She hugged me back.

-“Jag vet det, Eric, jag vet...”** She said. –”See you, then. Call me when you are on your way home – I’ll cook something nice.” She added, and continued –“Don’t worry Eric, you can tell me the whole story... when you will be ready. I understand. Who knows? Maybe I will figure it out myself...”

-“Maybe you will, you’re smart.” I told her.

-“Anyways, see you Eric – you need to be alone.”

-“Yes, I do” I admited, and walked away – to my studio.

As I walked to my car, I let my thoughts to run freely in my mind. Those thoughts brought back all I wanted to deny and hide in the past weeks.

I knew it.This time it was final. This time it was really the end.

The letter Danny had left pretty much said everything.

The letter Danny had left was the only thing of him I will own.

I got in the car, and headed to my studio – I needed some time alone, by myself.

I looked at the letter, and begun to read it again.

Te amo. Te quiero. Lo siento.

Sorry it has to be this way.

Sorry nothing could be changed.

Love is not enough sometimes.

Meanwhile, tears were streaming down my face – as I was losing something I would never be able to replace.

I felt as if I was swimming in the ocean, in the middle of a storm. I was lost, and I was losing control, and drowning. Slowly, I was going down – and my air suply was being taken away from me.

I had no air. I coudn’t breath.

But yet, the desire – to live – has burned inside me.

I did not give up, I kept on fighting – until my last breath.

It was the break of dawn, I had no disire to go home – I needed some time on my own, by myself. So it will be just me, in my studio. Pain is one of those things you face alone.

Quietly, I drove by the city straight to my studio. Trying, as hard as I could, concentrate on the road and built a shied, and will protect me – from the hurt and the vain, from the emptyness, and the pain.

When I finally reached the studio, I slowly locked the door of my car, afterwards, I headed to my studio.

Suddenly, as I reacher its’ door, I realised it was already openned.

What the fuck? My studio has nothing valuable that can be stolen, I thought to myself.

It was dangerous, I knew it. Tough, at that point, I simply did not care – or more correctly, I simply haven’t tough. In addition to the following, the curiousity inside me was burning – I just simply openned the door, walked in, and frooze.

My shied, the shied I was trying to built – to protect me from the cold, from the rain, from the emptyness, from the pain, and vain...

My shied, my protection – has fallen apart, as if it never was, as if it has never existed at all, I could feel it falling down, I could feel its’ pieces on the ground....

It all happened in one single moment, it all happened because of one single look.

I was drowning in the ocean, the ocean of my emotions, ilusions, memories.

Danny Saucedo stood near the window, with his eyes closed, his face lighten by the sunlight, was so beautiful.

He seemed to be concentrating on something else, he didn’t even notice me.

-“Danny...” I called him quietly.

Immediately, Danny has oppened his gorgerous deep blue eyes, and looked my way.

Even if I could run to a land, that would be far away from the ocean, it would not save me from the huge flood coming my direction – this time I did not fight back, I gave up, and let it all – rain over me. Sigh.

He stood there, in my studio – looking at me with tears in his eyes, and sad smile on his face. He sighed when he had seen me, and his blue eyes looked at me – as if he was filming me in his mind – as if it was the last time we saw each other. He said nothing.

-“Danny...” I said, as I got closer to him –“Danny, it has been a while...” I added.

He remained silent – still not saying a thing – he had just nodded in agreement.

The silence was too much for me to bear. I couldn’t stand it. Simply I couldn’t.

-“Danny, you’re killing me! Say something!” I said, and looked at him with pleading expression. –“Please... Danny...” I added, in a soft tone.

-“Sorry Eric...” Was all he had managed to say in return.

-“Is it the end then?” I asked him, and felt my knees shaking.

He had closed his eyes, few tears streamed down his face – meanwhile he confirmed my worse possible nightmares ever.

-“Yes... it is the end... of the road, of our road.” He said.

As broken as I was, nevertheless, I have decided to put all possible effort – and stay strong, don’t fall apart, to be brave – and face the reality.

I will not look for an espace this time, I will stand on the line – and fight.

I did not fall down on the ground.

He had not seen me cry.

As much as all I wanted was to go, to disappear,

I have stayed – I did not run away.

The funniest thing was the fact I wasn’t doing this for me, not at all – I was doing this for him, for Danny. Even that now, when thinking of his name – that brought so many memories up in my mind, so many broken dreams  – hurt me so much.

It haven’t changed a single thing. I love him. I will always love him.

I knew he loves me aswell, maybe his feelings are even stronger than mine, who knows.

I knew he was doing this for me – for us – because he thinks being apart is better for us.

Who knows? Maybe he is right.

Danny doesn’t deserve to suffer – he had enough of pain for the past weeks, including near dead experience, that was caused because of me...  That was  why I haven’t said a single thing, that’s why I did not let to my tears to fall down, my face to show signs of pain, my eyes to express the emptyness.

I smiled at him, and reached toward him in order to give him a hug – probably for the last time in a while.

-“Thank you for everything, Danny...” I whispered softly in his ear, as I hugged him.

Danny hugged me back, and made me realise how I will simply miss him.

How I will simply miss his beautiful smile.

How I will simply miss his gorgerous blue eyes.

The warmth of his body, the kindness of his heart... Sigh.

-“Goodbye Eric.” He said after the hug, and left.

Leaving everything behind.

*From Swedish: ”What would I be... without your breath?” Lyrics from “Utan Dina Andetag” song by the Swedish rockband Kent.

Kent is one of Danny’s favourite bands, and “Utan Dina Andetag” is one of his favourite songs by them.

**From Swedish: “I know it, Eric, I know...”

EPILOGUE – “In The Aftermath”

I haven’t seen Danny since that day. Of course, I saw him in public events, on the TV, on the radio. I read about him in magazines, newspapers, the internet.... but it wasn’t the same. We haven’t met since that day, the final day – for us.

My life was fine, could have been better – but also, it could have been worse. I am not complaining. I am so lucky to have friends and family who support me, and Molly...

Molly’s reaction to what had happened caught me by surprise. She is so patient, so caring, so... loving.

Shame – this is exactly what I feel now, knowing how unfair I was to her. It’s a miracle she takes me as I am and forgives me for everything now.

I often caught myself thinking what would I do, who would I be without her. Now I realise; I’d do nothing, I’d be no-one. Without Molly – I would not survive, I would be lost – like a small leaf, that fell from its’ tree.

Well, maybe Danny was just right when he said that it is better for us to be apart. He has Janna, I have Molly.

And maybe he wasn’t... Who knows? - God only knows...

It doesn’t change a thing, however.

I’m still loving him.

****

TO BE CONTINUED! (maybe...) 

THERE'S A PLACE FOR US - Chapter No.9 - "Bury Me Alive"

“There's a Place For Us” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Nine – Bury Me Alive

Janna’s silence about Dave worried me. It was obvious there was something more to tell, and yet she didn’t – I was looking for the reason.

Maybe... I thought Maybe, she wants me to figure it out myself.

“I don’t want him to end up like... Dave.” She said, why would Danny end up like Dave? What exactly had happened to him? I have asked myself.

Something in me was not letting me to leave this theme behind.

Something in me was telling me to go – and figure it out.

I stood on the road, hesistating a bit.

How am I going to do this?

Who to ask?

Why for?

-“For Danny.” I said to myself, and all the doubts were gone. The desicion has been made, I dicided to follow my mind – and find out what Janna didn’t tell me.

I ordered a taxi, and got back to the place I have left my car before. I openned the door, and got in.

I grabbed my iPhone, and went online. I googled “Dave Lepard” and scanned various sites, searching for info regarding Dave.

A memorial website powered by Crashdiet’s official website, letters from fans, tributes, pictures, videos, everything but.... what I needed.

There was not a single clue that could answer my questions.

I sighed. Almost giving up on the idea, but... something has suddenly caught my attention. Dave lived and died in Uppsala, according to the information – I realised. I am in Uppsala.

I wasted no time thinking, simply begun to drive. I located the cemetery in Uppsala, and drove there - following the GPS instructions.

After some time, I finally got there. Now it was searching Dave’s grave.

Irrational, this was it. Because honestly, I did not know what I am doing. I did not knew even the reasons of, the logic behind my action.

It seemed to me as if I was a voodoo doll, lead by someone else.

I never really been that type to be superstitious, not that I would say I’m super religious... until this moment.

I was willing to believe in anything now.

Hidden force brought me here, hidden force has been leading me all the way to the place Dave was burried in.

  David Roberto Hellman

28/05/1980 - 20/01/2006

                R.I.P

I sighed, feeling something inside me – something I did not know neighter what it is, nor how to call it.

For some unknown reason, I started crying.

For some unknown reason, I have forgotten everything – my name, the location, the reason I am here, even Danny...

What the hell? I asked myself, shocked.

I haven’t had the chance to meet Dave personally, not that I knew something about him until today.

However, standing here, nearby his grave, made me feel something I could not decode, something I could not desribe.

It seemed to me as if I knew him.

It seemed to me as if he wanted to tell me something.

Am I sane? I asked myself. Guess I’m not! I ansered.

Then, I have noticed I wasn’t alone there.

A tall blonde guy, with really long hair, dressed as a rockstar from the 80’s – was standing near me, gazing at me with his questioning, brown eyes.

-“Who the hell are you? What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked me, automatically, I took few steps back – the guy seemed dangerous to me.

-“I’m... My name is Eric, Eric Saade.” I said, nervously. The real question should be who the hell was he, and what the fuck was he doing there. Sigh. -“I’m... well, it’s a long story...” I said, answering the second question.

-“I have time. Explain.” He said, sounding more friendly now.

-“At first, may you please be dear and tell me who are you, and the reason you are here.” I demanded him.

The guy seemed to be shocked hearing my small demand, as if I was supposed to know him somehow. Have to say it surprised me he did not know who I was.

-“I’m Dave’s friend, my name is Peter, Peter London*. I think it’s pretty obvious what I am doing here... now tell me your long story, please.”

-“I...well, you know Danny Saucedo?”

-“I do. He’s a very nice guy, and Dave’s cousin. Too bad he does creepy pop music now, the bastard had potentional...”

-“You sound as if I know him personally...” I noted.

-“I do.” He said.

-“How?” I asked.

-“Man, have you fallen from the sky or what? Maybe you’re an alien, you aren’t green tough. Haha! You are really NOT informed!” Peter stated.

-“Sorry, inform me, please.” I asked him.

-“Well, I’m part of Crashdiet aswell.” He said  -“You know, the rock band that was founded by Dave. He was the lead singer until he passed away, I’m the bassist.” Peter explained, after he saw I had no idea about what he was talking

-“After Dave’s dead...” He continued – “We offered Danny to join and replace him, but the guy refused...”

-“Oh!” I said, finally understanding.

-“Now, tell me your story, please.” Peter demanded me.

-“Alright!” I said, and explain Peter the whole story, without even censoring a single detail.

I have known him only for few minutes, perhaps, but I felt as if I knew him for years. I had a feeling he will understand me – and after I was done, I saw I was right. Peter did.

-“Ah, I see...” Peter said in thoughtful voice after I explained him the story. –“So, you are here to... find out what happened to Dave, and why Danny could end up like him...” He suggested.

-“Exactly, you’re smart.” I confirmed. Seriously, today everybody is smart – but me. Why?

-“Dave was filling out of control, you know. He had the feeling time was running out, so much he wanted to do... yet he couldn’t. Twenty-four hours were not enough, he needed like... forty-eight. He became really depressed, and later got involved with drugs. Time passed, things got worse, he... locked himself in that God damned room and hanged himself... Oh God...” Peter said, and sighed.

-“I’m sorry...”

-“If I only knew... It’s now, now that I begin to understand the reason. Eric, look, Dave has lost contact with his family, his friends, even us... I mean, for example, he and Danny – they were so damn close – and because of Dave’s depression and drugs – they lost contact. We tried to talk to him, everything was useless – he would only think we are against him, and get even mor depressed.

Now, when you told me that story, I think I got it!” He said, and looked at me with a thankful smile. Then, he continued.

-“Dave did not have that special person who could hold him here. Unlike you, and unlike Danny.” He said.

-“Oh! Now I see, now everything makes fucking sense!” I said, shocked at my words, now I’m speaking like a rockstar... Oh my...

I continued talking to Peter for the next few hours, we were talking about random subjects: From the music industry, to... spiritual subjects like love, death, etc.

I liked the guy’s attitude, he was very different from the others.

Peter wasn’t that typical “rockstar”, whose image I had in my mind.

The boy was smart, and very down to earth.**

For the first time during the day, I was... feeling normal – thanks to him.

-“So, I guess we’ll see each other again, one day...” I said to Peter, before leaving.

-“Haha, yes! It was nice to meet you, Eric. Too bad...”

-“I’m doing creepy pop music. Sorry, Mr. London.”

-“Haha, yes, it’s O.K. So, goodbye boy! Wish you good luck, and tell Danny I said ‘Hi’ – I really hope he will get better...”

-“Goodbye, London.”

-“Hej då, Eric.” He said, and then, looked at me with hesistation. I knew he wanted to say something, yet he wasn’t sure if he should.

-“Get this out of your chest already, London. I don’t bite.” I said, and smiled.

-“Damn, it’s about Danny...” He said, and smiled in apology, -“I hate saying this, truly Eric, I do. But I....” London did not finish the sentence, and looked at me.

-“Say it.” I demanded.

-“If you see things go wrong with Danny. If you see that your love and your presence do not lead to good for him, let it go – before it gets to late. If you know what I mean....” He said, -“Sorry...” He added.

-“You are right, London. Don’t worry, I was considering this option aswell.”

-“For now, what I would do if I were you – is give the boy some time.” He recommended me, and again – he was right.

-“You are right. This is what I would do.” I said.

-“Goodbye Saade, take care” He told me, in the end of our conversation.

-“Goobye London, thanks for everything” I thanked him, and walked away – to my car.

I had begun to drive back, back home, to Stockholm.

*Peter London – The bassist of the band “Crashdiet” founded by Dave Lepard. Very down to earth, open minded, spiritual and sweet guy.

Peter is also part of “Alter Egon” – which was founded by him, and there – he sings, and plays all the instruments.

The songs (all written by him) are all in Swedish, and talk about freedom – especially the sexual one.

**In addition to Crashdiet and Alter Egon, London also worked on what he called “A regular shitty job” since he had no money to pay the bills.

In addition to that, the band’s official forum (www.crashdiet.org/forum) is moderated by him.

The story about Dave Lepard death is PURELY fictional.
It is only MY theory based on INTERVIEWS. Do NOT take it seriously.