IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.15 - "All For Love"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).


Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Fifteen – All For Love

Danny was holding me tight in his amrs, not letting me go.

We were kissing each other, and no one of us was willing to stop.

Danny’s wet lips and tounge moved in pure harmony alongside mine.

He tasted so good. Feeling him was literally a cherry pie.

I pressed myself tighter to his chest, where I could feel the warmth from his body, and hear his heartbeat.

Slowly, my hands began to run over every single part of his glorious body.

I touched his back, his neck, his face, and finally his XL... penis.

Danny was already hard, and wet – just like me, by the way.Sigh.

So, I have diceded to stop wasting time acting like an innocent idiot , and do him right. I’m going to give you every inch of my love, Daniel Saucedo, literally, be aware. I thought.

I was a bit shocked at first, being dirty or/and thinking dirty was something I have not done before. What the fuck is wrong with me tonight? I asked myself.

-“Danny, should I take my clothes off or you want to do it yourself?” I asked.

Danny did not answer, he immediately pulled my shirt off, with my pants, alongside with my underwear. It took him less than two minutes, I must say.

-“You are so fine, Eric. I want to fuck you so hard.”

-“Danny, this time it’s my turn – I am sick of being a manboy, let me be a man for the first time in my life!” I said.

He laughed so loud, that I even thought we are having an earthquake.

Slowly, I began to undress him. Firstly, I took off his shirt.

My hand were running over his chest, I touched his nipples, and pinched his right one.

-“Ohhh!” Danny screamed, and looked at me, with shocked eyes.

-“I owe you this!” I said. The hell I do, he’d better deal with it. Sigh.

-“Haha, right. Fine then... Long memory you have!” He said, and bite his lip.

-“Still hurts?”

-“Hmmmm.....”

I did not waited for his answer, I just pressed my lips to his nipples – and started to lick them passionately with my wet tongue. Danny was moaning from enjoyment.

My hands went down on his body, straight where his penis was. I began to stork it  hard with my hands, while I was still licking his nipples.

I pulled his pants, alongside his underwear off. Now we were both naked.

I couldn’t help myself but gazing with adoration toward his body, tough I admit I felt a twich of jealousy, he was so perfect. Words cannot describe it.

I put his penis straight into my mouth, and begun to taste it with my lips.

My toungue went up and down on Danny’s penis, while my hands were massaging his balls.

Danny was still sitting on the sofa, moaning quietly from pleasure.

-“Eric... don’t stop” He said, -“Ohhh, boy, you’re so good. I love you!” He added, and continued his moan.

When I was done sucking his penis, he knocked me down to the ground.

Danny begun to kiss every single part of my body.

-“I want to kiss you all over...” He said.

Then, he went down on me, he licked every single part of my package with his wet lips.

Afterwards, Danny started to fuck me hard.

-“Oh!” I screamed, -“Fuck you, Danny! Harder, deeper!” I ordered him.

He did listened to me, Danny went totally wild – he had begun to move as fast and as deep as he could.

-“I love you. You’re so good at this!” I told him. Danny smiled at me, and bite my lip. He continued fucking me, his hands were touching my chest and arms, while he was kissing my lips.

In any other situation, I would just lay there and never stop him. But I had different plans for tonight.

I could feel the fire withing me burning.

I could feel the storng desire for him.

I wanted him, I needed him – right here, right now.

I slowly turned around, now I was on top. He clearly did not believe his eyes at first, and starred at me with shocked eyes. I placed my penis near Danny’s ass, and slowly entered him.

-“Ohhh” We both said at the same time, Danny even bite his lip – in order to stop the scream he was about to do.

I started to move within him. I went deeper and deeper, and started to fuck him faster.

-“Damn it. You are so good!” He screamed, -“Just don’t stop” He added.

The truth was that I couldn’t stop. Even if I wanted. But I didn’t.

It was the first time ever I have fucked a man. Have to say it was awesome. Probably because of the man I was fucking, tough... Sigh.

The pleasure enlarged slowly, I could fill it coming.

-“Danny, I am going to cum into your fucking mouth!” I shouted.

Since, he did not protested – I simple did it.

Watching Danny sucking my penis, alongside with my juices gave me chills over across my body.

Then, I went down on him once again – and haven’t stopped until he filled up my mouth.

We were lying on the floor in Danny’s studio. We were naked.

-“Ahh, it was the best feeling in my life!” I confessed, and smiled.

-“Yeah, boy, it was great. Tough, I cannot deny I am amazed, shocked, and surprised...” Danny said –“What lead to it? In the previous times you were... so shy, so cute, so innocent and afraid. What happened tonight that turned you into a wild bad boy?” He asked me, and winked.

-“Daniel, I just simple love you so much. For the past few months I leaved without you, and I....” Then I stopped. Damn, shouldn’t have said it.

His expression showed pain and regret, he had tried to hide it – but failed.

-“Sorry...” He said, and locked down, ashamed.

-“Don’t be, Danny. Let’s get over what happened – and start all over again. Blank page.”

-“Yes, you are right. Let’s!” He said, smiled – and kissed my lips as good as only he can do. That was my Danny! The danny I loved, love, and will forever love.

It was the start of something new for us. None of us did not know what will happen. Was it right? Was it wrong? Neither I, nor Danny had answers for those questions. It simply did not matter to us.

L.O.V.E – was what we felt toward each other, love was what we wanted – love was what we needed. He loves me, I love him. As Danny had said once, nothing but this so simple, and yet so wonderful truth matters in this world.

-“Te amo, Eric” Danny whispered into my ear, in spanish.

-“Ich liebe dich auch, Danny” I responded, and kissed him softly.

EPILOGUE – In The End - “Timeless”

We continued to lay down on the floor in Danny’s studio. We were still naked.

We looked into each other’s eyes, and we were into each other’s arms.

-“In your eyes, I feel love. In your eyes, I am whole.” Danny sang to me, in his beautiful voice.

-“I’ve been afraid to say it. But I really, truly feel it. I’m addicted to the rush you give me, you’re the one obsession. You raise my heartbeat when you smile.” I sang to him.

He smiled.

-“Do I raise your heartbeat now?” He said, and laughed quietly. He is so precious when he smiles I thought.

-“Yes, and I?”

-“You raise my heartbeat everytime, manboy. I simple love you – More than any words can express, more than you ever know.”

My reaction was reaching toward his lips, and passionately kissing him.

-“I will always love you, with all my heart – until the end of time.” I said, closed my eyes – and fell asleep alongside with the most beautiful person in the world, alongside my love. Danny. Sigh.

I feel the love from your heartbeat is hitting me,

I want to stay to be yours for eternity.

Don’t let the feelings go away so rapidly,

The clocks would never surround us – We could be timeless.

Tomorrow, I will wake up.

Tomorrow, another day will start.

New beginning, new life. Sigh.

Me and Danny might not last forever, that’s right.

But our love could be timeless.

TO BE CONTINUED!  

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.14 - "Purest Delight"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).





Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Fourteen – Purest Delight

However, it did not change the fact that some questions needed to be asked, and given answers for. Talking things over was a must in our case.

-“Eric, if I had only I knew that your feelings for me are that serious. I would have never done it.” Danny told me.

-“For heavens sake. I coundn’t imagine that you love me so much, even more than I deserve. I thought that getting over me, for you would be a cherry pie.” Danny added, and smiled in apology.

How could he even doubt my feelings?

-“And your feelings?” I asked him.

-“Oh, I thought I could handle it... Guess I was wrong, again.” He answered.

-“When, and why you decided to... talk to me again? Or was it a spurr of the moment?”

-“Of course it wasn’t. Look, you know, one day I was sitting quietly in my studio, trying to write a song, and then, out from under – I recieved a call from your lovely girlfriend, Molly...” He said, paused to look at me, and continued.

-“I was literally shocked when she told me how are you doing, Eric. I have been feeling so bad for everything I have done that day since that. Really. Oh, and also, lying to Molly wasn’t something I enjoyed. She is still very upset with me/ I tried to call her few times afterwards, but she did not pick up the phone even for a single time... But well, I deserve it. I am lucky you have forgiven me after all I have done to you.”

I kissed his lips softly, and whispered –“I love you, Danny” in his ear.

Danny smiled, -“I love you too, Eric” he said then, and kissed me back.

-“You were better than me in... leading a normal sane life. I am so pathetic. Poor Molly, I made her worry so much... I even think she believes I have lost my mind” I said, after another moment of silence.

-“You only think this way, Eric.” Danny responded, adding –“If you asked Janna about how I was in the past... few months, you would realise how pathetic and cruel I am, Eric.”

-“Explain.” I demanded him.

-“Well, I used to lock myself in the studio, sit down on the floor, and tried to write music. I was home only for few hours a day. I used to tell Janna and my friends lies about me having a lot of things to do, but I could tell they did not believe me. You had tried to get over me, you had tried to lead a normal life. You cared about your friends, your family, your girlfriend – Molly, and I... dumped my friends, and ignored my family and girlfriend – Janna...”

-“Friends?” I asked, I had to admit, that was a bit jealous, tough. Ridiculous.

-“Erik and Mattias, from E.M.D” He answered, and smiled. –“They are like brothers to me.”

-“Ah, alright then.”

-“Eric, you are so adorable when you are jealous. You make me want to kiss you!” Danny said, and laughed.

-“Then, be dear and tell me, what the fuck are you waiting for?! Do it already.” I said, and laughed.

-“Eric, how about... going to a more private place at first? My studio for exapmle...? My sofa is very big, comfortable and soft...” Danny said, trying to sound innocent. Sure, sure, Danny + Innocent = Epic Fail.  I was horrible at Maths during school time, but DannyMathics was other story. I though to myself, smiled and...

Many things changed in me during the past months, except of this. I was still the red faced like a tomato man boy. I guess that would never change. Sigh.

Tough, Danny seemed to enjoy my reaction.

-“You are so cute, Eric.” He said, and smiled. –“And we better go to my studio now, before I lose myself here, in the RixFM festival’s locker room...haha” He said, and we both laughed together.

-“Let’s!” I said, and asked –“Let me guess, I am driving, right?” I was always the one to drive, for some reason.

-“Of course you do, I don’t want to commit a crime.”

-“Eh? Crime?” I said, not getting what he was about.

-“I have no driver liscence, boy.”

-“Really?” I asked, surprised.

-“Aha, really. Tough I will work on it soon, after I will finish my summer tour”

We got in the car.

Danny was sitting next to me.

We were smiling at each other.

-“Boy, I love you” He told me.

-“I love you too, Man” I replied, and kissed his lips, he kissed me back.

-“Eric... you drive me wild, you’d better drive already. If we will make love in your car, I am afraid it will not survive!” He said, and laughed.

I laughed aswell, and dicided, for my car’s sake to drive to his studio.

However, I must say that sex in the car sounded good to me.

Oh, what the fuck is wrong with me? I though, and sigh.

-“The purest delight, baby – is when your body is close to me. The purest delight, baby – you are everything I need to feel, oh oh...” Danny sang to me, suddenly, while we were driving to his studio in the darkness.

This is it. Now he officially turned me on. He will get what he wants soon, or not...No, he will get us hanging on a three naked, hardly alive, and my car would be officially ruined. Haha.

-“Eric, concentrate on the road” Danny said, and laughed.

Hiding my dirty thoughts was impossible even in the darkness.

-“Now you tell me!” I said, and laughed.

-“You are such a horrible driver, Eric. Really. As soon as I get the driver’s liscence, you will not be alowed to even get close to the driver’s sit. Otherwise  we will be driven to a hospital by a white car called ambulance everytime.” He said, still laughing.

-“Look who’s talking, firstly get a one!”

-“I will, one day...” He sang, copying the melody from my song, “Popular”.

Which made me smile.

Finally, we made it to Danny’s studio.

-“Oh, I can’t believe we arrived! I was thinking it would never happen!” He said.

What was his problem with my driving?

-“I sincerely apologize for not being the next Fernando Alonso, Danny.” I said.

We laughed.

We got in his studio, and went straight to Danny’s sofa.

-“Will work you out until I drop.Say it and I will never stop, ‘till we will get on up...You got me just like that!” Danny sang to me, in his sexy wild voice.

-“Now, you’ve done it officially, Danny. Nothing can stop me now” I said – in the dirtiest tone I could, and went toward him.

-“Nothing can stop US” He corrected me, and winked.

-“Come on, Danny – do me right, light my fire.” I said to him. While my face was only few inches away from his, while I could feel his every breath on my skin.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.13 - "If Only You"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Thirteen – If Only You

After the show was over, I was busy preparing myself mentally to the converation between me and Danny.

What to say? What to do? How should I act? What to ask? I had asked myself all over – as I haven’t figured the correct answer yet.

I was walking quietly, and slowly toward Danny’s locker room, the place, where he was probably waiting for me.

What will happen tonight... with us? I wondered, not knowing the answer – and not sure wether I want to know it.

Confused. Yes, that’s the right word for what I was feeling right now. At fiest, Danny had told me, that i was everything for him.

Second, he... left me, all alone – without  providing any logical explantations, that would answer the question I asked him in my dreams every night: WHY?!

Third, now he tells me that he will never let me go.

What the hell is going on here? I wondered.

I finally reached Danny’s locker room, knocked two times on the door, and waited.

Few seconds later – he openned the door, and greated me warmly.

-“Hello Eric! Thanks for coming” He said, smiled, and hugged me suddenly.

I was shocked. What the hell is going on here? I thought again. But resisting Danny was useless, so I hugged him back.

-“Danny...” I said, adding –“Thanks for inviting me”.

-“You’re welcome, boy! Anytime, really....” Danny replied, and winked.

Is he drunk? Or is he on drugs? I wondered. I highly doubted it, but I couldn’t find another logical explantation to his behavior.

Danny noticed my look..., and probably – he guessed what I was about.

-“Alright Eric, I guess we have to do it... Let’s talk” He said, and sighed.

-“Let’s...” I said, nervously.

We were sitting on Danny’s sofa, quietly. Nobody talked.

I looked at Danny – waited for him to... say something. Danny looked at me – waited for me to... say something.

At the point when silence became simply intolerable, Danny said:

-“Eric, get if off your chest already!”

-“What? My shirt? I asked, in a sarcastic tone. That was something I learned from Danny.

He laughed, and responded:

-“That too!!! Haha... But I was actually thinking that you might have few questions to me, or am I wrong?”

No, Danny, you aren’t wrong. I am just an open book – No matter how hard I try to hide something, it is still written on my face. Sigh.

-“Yes... questions... basically... one... question...” I said, in a dead tone – I was scared to death of that conversation, and it’s impacts on me later.

Danny starred at me for few seconds, with worrying eyes, and sighed.

-“Eric... I’m so sorry, really, sorry! I’m sorry for everything, for all the pain I caused you... I....”

Tears were streaming on my face, as the picture of the last time we met before today came in my mind.

-“Eric....” Danny said again, -“Sorry, Eric”

-“It’s O.K.” I said, trying to calm him.

-“No it’s not” He said.

-“But... why? Danny, why?” I questioned him. Guess it was impossible not to ask this question.

-“I thought we were wrong” He said, and few tears appeared in his eyes. I have never seen Danny cry before.

-“Wrong?” I asked, sounding more like an echo.

He sighed, and said the longest speech I have ever heard of him:

-“Eric, when I met you – It was a love at first sight. I was dreaming about you. I was seeing your face, hearing your voice everytime I closed my eyes. I was obsessed with you. You were everything to me – the centre of my universe.

I stopped caring about the rest – my life, my carreer, my family, and... my girlfriend. I thought it was so wrong.

Besides, I knew things are the same for you... So, I thought we were wrong, our relationship was wrong... it went way too far, it was way too serious.”

-“Ah, I see...” I responded after a short pause, in a dead voice.

-“Eric... I’m sorry...”

-“Don’t be Danny, it’s your life – you can do whatever you want with it. Goodbye...” I said.

-“What?!” He said suddenly.

-“Don’t be sorry for anything, it’s not your fault. Danny, it’s your life – and you can feel free to do anything you want – don’t worry about me...”

-“I got that part, but...the last word...Goodbye?”

-“Yes, if we are wrong... and when you put things this way, I must say you are right. We’d better get over it now, before it gets too...late.”

Danny did not answer. Danny did not move. He just glared at me with shocking eyes. After few seconds, his shocked expression turned to be... a pain expression.

-“Danny, what’s wrong?”

-“Nothing... Eric, nothing...” He said, in a broken voice. I must admit, that before, I have never seen him in such mood.

-“Danny! Tell me, please” I demanded him in a worried tone.
We might be wrong, but it will not change my feelings for him. I’m still loving him.

He looked at me with hesistation for few seconds, then, Danny sighed – his expression showed nothing but confidence, and then, he finally spoke.

-“Eric, I said that I thought we were wrong” He repeated, slowly, putting emphasis at every single word.

What am I missing now? I wondered, trying to figure out – but failed.

-“Danny... I’m not the FBI, please, don’t speak in codes.”

He laughed.

-“Eric, I said that I thought we were wrong... not that I think we are wrong.” He said and laughed quietly, again. –“Simple english, pay more attention to the tenses, you know... grammar”.

-“Oh!” I said, and realised what he actually meant. Am I dreaming?

-“What were you doing during the English classes? Huh, Eric?” Danny said, in a sarcastic tone.

I laughed.

-“Eric, I am sorry for what happened. I was just being a total idiot, I am blonde after all, you know...” Danny apologized again, and laughed.

I laughed with him

-“Don’t worry, I have already forgiven you long time ago, Danny” I assured him.

-“Thanks boy.” He said, and continued after few seconds, -“Do you still love me, after all I have done to you? After all the pain I caused you?” He questined me.

-“Danny... the way I feel about you have never changed. I love you, and I will always do so.” I told him, -“The question should be wether or not your feelings for me are strong, and serious.”

-“Man, are you really asking that?” He said, and quickly added, -“Eric, I am the blond – so it is MY job to ask stupid questions, not yours. Oh, and by the way... Eric, I love you.”

-“Danny, are you sure it’s the right thing to do? You don’t have to pretend for my sake.” I asked him.

-“I don’t care if it is right or wrong, that doesn’t bother me anymore. I know what I am feeling. I know what you are feeling. Nothing matters besides it.” He said, -“Another silly question, manboy?” He added, and winked.

I smiled toward him.

In the first time during the last months I was happy.

In the first time during the last months I felt hope.

Suddenly, everything was so easy, so simple.

As if... what happened and ruined it... did not happen at all.

Back to the past then? I questioned myself.

Danny was looking deeply into my eyes, smiling. I couldn’t help myself but smiling back at him.

Danny is so handsome when he smiles, especially now.
His blue eyes shinned like stars, reflecting the sunset that burned within them.

His pink lips seemed to be so precious, so delicious, so kissable...

Danny raises my heartbeat when he smiles, the hell he does! I thought and smiled, like a geek.

-“Eric” Danny finally said, -“Eric... I... I love you” he added, while looking deep into my eyes with his hypnotizing blue eyes.

My head began to spin around, while my hearbeat went faster and faster – and my breathing was louder and louder.

Few tears streamed down my face. Those were tears of happiness and not pain.

Danny smiled at me, and touched my face softly.

-“Danny...” I finally menaged to say, after a long pause, - “Danny, I love you” I added, and kissed his lips – I could not resist more. He kissed me back.

I love him. He loves me. Danny was right, nothing matters besides that simple fact. Sigh.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.12 - "Unite This Heart"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).



Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Twelve – “Unite This Heart”

When I got back to Sweden, I headed straight to Rix FM festival – I was scheduled to perform “Popular” alongside with my new single “Hearts In The Air” featuring my friend, rapper J-Son.

I was worried, nervous to death – I would say.
No – it did not have anything to do neither with the fact that it was my first appearance since the ESC, nor with the fact that I was worried about how people will react  to my new single. I did not thought of those.

It was... Danny, yes, again, it was Danny.

He was suppossed to perform there aswell – at the same day with me, and he was performing before me. Which means, I cannot escape – no matter how hard I want or/and try to.

I was walking backstage, all alone and nervous as hell. Then, I froze.

Danny was standing motionlessly, and quietly near the window, lying his body against the wall.

His eyes were vacantly starring at the floor, his face expression was something I could not decode, but he seemed tired, and a bit.... sick(?).

Danny payed me no mind, maybe he haven’t noticed at all – or maybe he pretended as if I wasn’t there.

Ignore him or not? Talk to him? I questioned myself, but I haven’t found the answer.

Then, he finally noticed me – or stopped ignoring me.

Danny looked my way, with a questioning expression – his eyes showed hesistation. But after few seconds, his expression changed – and showed desicion.

Danny came toward me, and stopped one metre away from me.

-“Hello Eric” he said, quietly – not smiling.

-“Danny, if you do not wish to talk to me – then don’t” I said, and continued –“I don’t want to force myself on you, you don’t ha...” He interrupted me.

-“But I want to” He said.

-“Well, fine then...” I said, in a dead tone. If that is what he really wants then... why not?

-“Or.... you don’t want to talk to me?” Danny questioned me.

-“Ehh, no Danny – I don’t mind” What was the use of running away from him now? The pain will not be worse.

He looked at me with attention, he was checking me out – like a doctor.

Aha!  Rating how insane I am from 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest)? I thought in a sarcastic way, but I wasn’t way far from the truth – I guess.

-“Eric, I think we could talk after the performance... it will be better, for the two of us” Danny said.

-“Yeah, you are right” The crowd doesn’t has to suffer.

-“See you after the show, good luck! Oh, and congratulation for your ESC appearance, you were amazing!” Danny said, and slightly smiled.

-“Thank you Danny, see you – goodluck aswell. Oh, and nice T-Shirt” I responded.

-“Thank you!” He said and laughed, -“Well, see you later, Eric” he added, turned around and walked away

-“Wait... Danny...!!!” I said, suddenly – when I remembered that I forgot to ask him something.

Danny stopped, and looked at me with coriousity and hope.
I ran toward him.

-“Are you alright? I mean... you look a bit sick...”

-“Yes, I am alright – I am just... tired” He said, well, no – he lied.
He looked sick, and it worried me a lot.

-“Get well soon.”  I said.

He laughed.

-“Thank you, boy. You are so... observe.” He told me.

-“Why lying?” I demanded him.

-“Did not wanted to... bother you with my problems.” Danny confessed and looked down. Strange, he really ment it I realised.

-“Oh, it doesn’t bother me.” I admited, and some tears went down my face. I love you Danny, I love you, I care! I wanted to shout out and kiss him. But I couldn’t.

He was so close to me now, and yet so far away.

I looked down, hoping he will not see me cry.
I did not wanted to worry him, I did not wanted him to see me cry, especially now – when he is sick.

-“Eric” Danny said. I looked at him.

For a minute, we were gazing at each other – and found ourselves lost in each others eyes.

-“Eric....” Danny repeated then, -“Don’t fall apart” Danny said, sighed, and pointed at  his chest – exactly where his heart is –“Unite this heart” he said, lookind deeply into my wet eyes, that were full of tears.

Then, he smiled at me, and suddenly – gave me a hug.

I hugged him back.

Costs what it costs but this moment is worth all the pain that might will follow it.

-“I will never let you go” Danny suddenly said, -“See you after the show in my locker room. I will be waiting for you there, boy.” He added and walked away.

Leaving my crying, shocked, but... ridiculously happy behind.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.11 - "On The Edge Of Glory"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).



Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Eleven – “On The Edge Of Glory”

I hated waiting, with all my heart, brain and soul.
Those.... thirty minutes, lasted so long. They were without a doubt, the longest thirty minutes of my life.

At some point, I stopped caring and counting points. Wether I finish first, second, or maybe...even third – it did not bother me.

All I wanted was it to be over, but there were like... how much? 23 countries to go? Well, I have already lost count.

Home sweet home I miss you I thought, and I thought about my family, my friends, my girlfriend, and... my country. Hopefully, the Swedish people will be statisfied with my performance and result.

So what? So what if I will not win? The second/ Third spot is... also fine?

Especially if one considers that it will be Sweden’s best result since... 1999. I though, but something interrupted me.

Oh, now Sweden’s points will be announced! I realised, and thought Wonder, who will be announcing them?

“.....Danny!” someone said, and shortly afterwards – Danny Saucedo appeared on the TV, wearing a T-Shirt with my picture and name on it.

What the fuck is going on here?! I whispered, hoping my dancers will not here it, as I fell down on the sofa. Luckily, nobody heard me. Yay?

I wasn’t neither paying attention to what he was saying, nor to what he was doing, just to... his face, his eyes, his lips...

It has been a while since I saw this face, it has been a while since I heard this voice.

Then he was gone.

I couldn’t think of anything else after that. The voting, the waiting – were meaningless to me. I forgot about home, family, and girlfriend.

Danny’s face filled up my mind.

How is he? How is his carreer? Does he....?  I wondered, but at some point I was not able to think about him anymore. It hurt way too much, which slightly surprised me.

I have spent the past weeks ignoring Danny’s existance as much as I could.
I haven’t thought of him, I haven’t talked about him.

I stopped dreaming about him. I got over him, absolutely...!!!
That was what I thought... until now.

Now, again, he crashed my world. All I have been doing for the past weeks was undone now. Oh, and some say “What is done cannot be undone” How ridiculous!

The love for Danny was back, his face was back in my mind.

Alongside with the pain and emptyness.

I ended up third in the end.

The weird was that I did not care at all.

When Molly saw me backstage, she got really worried.

-“Eric, it’s Sweden’s best result since 1999! You did an amazing job! You were the best, really! You deserved to win, but...” She was telling me, I interruped her.

-“Molly, it’s not that...” I began to say.

-“Ah, of course... I forgot Danny’s appearance, with the phenomenal T-Shirt” She said in sarcastic tone.

A Remainder of Danny’s name made me feel... pain.

In the past few weeks, I did not feel pain at all – since I haven’t thought about Danny and... I was busy, so now – it hurt more.

-“Sorry... Eric, I shouldn’t have said this” Molly said, ashamed of herself.

-“It’s not your fault” I said quietly, trying not to break infront of her.

-“But... What happened between you? Why you react like that to it?” Molly asked me.

Oh God, what will I say to her now? Well, I guess I brought this to myself – so now I have to deal with it, great, Eric, great!

-“Nothing”

-“Ohhh, he said that too."

Huh? Oh right... When she screamed at him on the phone.

Silence.

-“Molly... Let’s just move on.” I said, when I couldn’t stand this silence, knowing that “move on” = utopia for me now.

-“Yeah, let’s” She said and smiled. I could tell she did not believed it aswell, but she very much wanted to.

Release me Danny, set my body free I thought to myself, and realised,

Danny cannot set me free – since I haven’t set myself free, but how do I do it? Or even better: Can I do it?

I guess no I sighed.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.10 - "You're Out Of My Life"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).


Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Ten – “You’re Out Of My Life”

Question were floating in my mind as I drove my car.

I have decided to lock myself in my studio, again – with my tears.

I openned the door of my studio, turned the lights on, sat on the sofa, and let my thoughts fly away as tears were streaming down my face...

All this time, I was trying to escape the pain, to avoid the pain – Rather than face it, and try to get over it, like a normal, sane person should do.

But as a result, the pain had only gotten worse – it hurt me, and it hurt Molly.

Suddenly, I felt a strong need to... talk someone, to speak out.

But to whom? To Molly? To my Mom? To whom?

What hurts the most, is that I knew exactly the name of the only person who would have understood me, who would have helped me... but he is gone, carried away by the wind.

However, it will never change the way I feel... for him.

I’m screaming on top of the world, but I don’t think I can he heard by you... Danny. I thought and sighed.

I don’t know what had happened between us.

I don’t know what will happen with us.

I only know that he isn’t there, by my side anymore.

Oh, and he probably will never be there... I thought to myself.

-“Then why?” I asked myself suddenly.

Why do I keep living in the past? Why do I keep missing the present? Why do I keep ruining my future? Why? I asked myself.

-“Danny” I said, and sighed. The answer for everything that happened in the past months of my life is Danny.

But why?

I love him, that’s a fact.

He doesn’t love me, that’s also a fact.

Why I can’t, for God’s sake, forget him and move on?

-“Danny... Danny... please, set me free – release me, please.” I whispered, almost crying.

-“Release me, release my body, my soul... free me.” I whispered again.

It was useless.
Danny wasn’t here – and he will never be.

Danny did not care – and will never do.

I need ro release my self, to free myself – All alone.

Nobody in this planet will do it for me. I realised.

Get over him, Eric – you must do this. I ordered myself

It will do only good to you, and to Molly. I tried convincing myself

-“Just do this. Set your mind and body free.” I said.

Life goes on.
And I will be a total fool if I continue being like that.

Life goes on, time is running out.
And I will be a total fool if I will continue being like that.
Being stuck in the past, all in ruins.

I live only once – and not forever.

So, why not use my chance?

So, why not let it go?

-“Baby goodbye, Danny goodbye.”
I said and tears streamed down my face, again.

Daniel Gabriel Alessandro Saucedo Grzechowski – those are the last tears I am crying because of you.

You’re gone, you’re out of my life.

Life goes on, and I will carry on...

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.9 - "Screamin' On Top Of The World"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).



Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately). 

Chapter Nine – “Screamin’ On Top Of The World”

Days passed, weeks passed, months passed – the pain was still the same. Nothing had really changed.

Crazy rehearsing my number for the Eurovision. Spending hours in the studio with my friend, Jason – writing and recording music. Going home, and lying to Molly than I look the way I look; dead on my feet, lifeless and heartbroken because I am exhausted because of work.

She believed it, at least I thought she did.

I came back home, after I had finished the rehersals and the studio session.
When I entered home, I openned the door, and I heard that Molly was talking to someone from the Sallon, since there was no second voice – I guessed it was on the phone.

-“Danny, tell me, what the hell is wrong with him? I can’t stand it anymore!” Molly said.

What? What is wrong with who? What she can’t stand? Danny? What Danny? Was Molly talking to Danny? Why? A lot of unanswered questions were floating in my mind. “What the fuck is going on here?” I whispered to myself.

-“Don’t tell me you don’t know, I have a feeling you do. There is a reason while Eric’s face is full of pain whenever he hears your name! Don’t lie to me!” Molly replied to... Danny.

Then I understood everything. Really, Eric, who do you think you were fooling? Probably only yourself I thought.

-“What happened between you? Why aren’t you talking to each other anymore?” Molly demanded him on the phone, and added: -“I remember how you used to spend so much time together, and now... What happened? Did you guys fight?”

Molly wasn’t living in outer space as I thought, she noticed every little thing. She knew I was lying to her about my “lifeless” mood, and she guessed why – Danny, and she was damn right all the way long.

Lord, why am I the only person in this planet to be wrong?

-“Nothing happened? Then talk to Eric!” Molly screamed. This girl was screaming at Danny because of me, I don’t deserve it – she is really too good for me.

-“What do you mean ‘you can’t’, the hell you can! Danny! Please! I’m asking you as a friend.... as a cousin.... Eric is important to me, and I have a sense that what is going on with him, has something to do with you, yes, YOU!”

And I must say that her senses didn’t let her down, again.

-“Danny, please....” Molly said now, almost whispered, in a broken voice.

I felt a strong twitch of guilt, I was trying hard to not make her suffer, but she was suffering all the time. “I am so pathetic” I whispered to myself. Molly continued: -“Danny, I will never tell Eric you spoke to me, I swear you can trust me... I just want to help Eric” She added in a broken voice.

Silence.

-“No, Danny! Wait... Danny no!” Molly said, and  threw the phone away – it landed on the ground, and survived somehow.

Then, she sat on the ground and started crying.

What should I do? I asked myself.

Go on – to Molly?
 Calm her, tell her I will improve – well, lie, because I will not.
This broken heart will not be fixed...

Tell her that I love her?
When I love someone else more.

Someone else who doesn’t care about me...

But if I will... I will have to explain her everything, everything about my relationship with Danny... I can’t, I can’t!

It was enough for me, I didn’t now what to do. The thoughts of Danny made every piece of my heart ache again, but this time it was 1 000^th times stronger.

I wanted ro run, to escape. I wanted to be alone, on the edge of the word – on top of the world. All alone, completely by myself – me, myself and... my pain.

Molly... oh well, I’m going to hurt it her again now

The good part of it is that she doesn’t know I am here, not yet I thought, and added in my mind  But she will, If I keep on standing here... If Molly sees me now, she will find out everything – she is smart, it will take her 10 seconds exactly to understand what happened between me and Danny. She is way  more observe than I gave her credit for, furthermore – my heartbroken look says it all. “I have to go” I whispered to myself, and ran away back, from my own house to my own car.

I drove away as fast as I could.

Leaving everything behind.

 

Days passed, weeks passed, months passed – the pain was still the same. Nothing had really changed.

Crazy rehearsing my number for the Eurovision. Spending hours in the studio with my friend, Jason – writing and recording music. Going home, and lying to Molly than I look the way I look; dead on my feet, lifeless and heartbroken because I am exhausted because of work.

She believed it, at least I thought she did.

I came back home, after I had finished the rehersals and the studio session.
When I entered home, I openned the door, and I heard that Molly was talking to someone from the Sallon, since there was no second voice – I guessed it was on the phone.

-“Danny, tell me, what the hell is wrong with him? I can’t stand it anymore!” Molly said.

What? What is wrong with who? What she can’t stand? Danny? What Danny? Was Molly talking to Danny? Why? A lot of unanswered questions were floating in my mind. “What the fuck is going on here?” I whispered to myself.

-“Don’t tell me you don’t know, I have a feeling you do. There is a reason while Eric’s face is full of pain whenever he hears your name! Don’t lie to me!” Molly replied to... Danny.

Then I understood everything. Really, Eric, who do you think you were fooling? Probably only yourself I thought.

-“What happened between you? Why aren’t you talking to each other anymore?” Molly demanded him on the phone, and added: -“I remember how you used to spend so much time together, and now... What happened? Did you guys fight?”

Molly wasn’t living in outer space as I thought, she noticed every little thing. She knew I was lying to her about my “lifeless” mood, and she guessed why – Danny, and she was damn right all the way long.

Lord, why am I the only person in this planet to be wrong?

-“Nothing happened? The talk to Eric!” Molly screamed. This girl was screaming at Danny because of me, I don’t deserve it – she is really too good for me.

-“What do you mean ‘you can’t’, the hell you can! Danny! Please! I’m asking you as a friend.... as a cousin.... Eric is important to me, and I have a sense that what is going on with him, has something to do with you, yes, YOU!”

And I must say that her senses didn’t let her down, again.

-“Danny, please....” Molly said now, almost whispered, in a broken voice.

I felt a strong twitch of guilt, I was trying hard to not make her suffer, but she was suffering all the time. “I am so pathetic” I whispered to myself. Molly continued: -“Danny, I will never tell Eric you spoke to me, I swear you can trust me... I just want to help Eric” She added in a broken voice.

Silence.

-“No, Danny! Wait... Danny no!” Molly said, and  threw the phone away – it landed on the ground, and survived somehow.

Then, she sat on the ground and started crying.

What should I do? I asked myself.

Go on – to Molly?
 Calm her, tell her I will improve – well, lie, because I will not.
This broken heart will not be fixed...

Tell her that I love her?
When I love someone else more.

Someone else who doesn’t care about me...

But if I will... I will have to explain her everything, everything about my relationship with Danny... I can’t, I can’t!

It was enough for me, I didn’t now what to do. The thoughts of Danny made every piece of my heart ache again, but this time it was 1 000^th times stronger.

I wanted ro run, to escape. I wanted to be alone, on the edge of the word – on top of the world. All alone, completely by myself – me, myself and... my pain.

Molly... oh well, I’m going to hurt it her again now

The good part of it is that she doesn’t know I am here, not yet I thought, and added in my mind  But she will, If I keep on standing here... If Molly sees me now, she will find out everything – she is smart, it will take her 10 seconds exactly to understand what happened between me and Danny. She is way  more observe than I gave her credit for, furthermore – my heartbroken look says it all. “I have to go” I whispered to myself, and ran away back, from my own house to my own car.

I drove away as fast as I could.

Leaving everything behind.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.8 - "Broken Open"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).



Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Eight – “Broken Open”

We were standing there, nearby his door in silence. Not a single word was said. I couldn’t speak, I was speechless. Danny, well, guess he didn’t wanted to.

The silence became impossible for me, it wasn’t like those moments of silence when words weren’t needed/wanted – it was the silence before the storm, that kind of silence that might kill.

-“It’s over, Eric” Danny said again, I remined silent. I had a feeling he was forcing himself to stay here, to talk to me.

Danny sighed, looked at me, and then turned around – he was about to leave, and I needed to stop him

-“Danny! Wait” I said, and my voice broke, tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn’t stop them. –“Danny! Please, wait...” I said again.

Danny froze, sighed, and slowly turned around toward my direction.

-“Danny...Danny...” I murmured.

-“What Eric?”

-“Tell me, pleae, tell me, why are you doing this to me?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answer, but I had to ask.

-“Because I’m so sick of this!” He said, in an angry tone, he was about to continue, but I interrupted him.

-“Danny, if it’s because of the stress our relationship is causing you, if the lies you are forced to tell because of it are too much... we can work it out, boy. We can talk things over... Don’t do this, please, I love you.” I said in a quiet, begging voice. I sounded so pathetic.

But what could I do? I just can’t let him go I thought.

-“But I don’t... love you” Danny said in response.

-“You what?” I said, in a shaking voice.

-“Eric Saade, I don’t love you.”

Now I understood. All this time – I was nothing but a playboy to Danny. He never loved me, and all this time – I, Eric Saade, annoying him with my problems.

He just wants to get rid of me, I mean nothing to him.

Danny loved Janna.

-“Ah, ok then...” I said in a dead voice, that was my only reaction.

Danny looked at me with attention now, and then, he said:

-“Eric, I’m sorry boy, I really don’t want to hurt you... I’m sorry” He said in a softer voice now.

-“I know Danny, that’s alright....” I said.

-“Goodbye Eric, take care”
-“We... we can’t stay friends?”

-“No Eric, we can’t – goodbye”

-“Wait! But why?” I demanded, tough I already knew the answer.

-“You know why, Eric” Danny said, and he was, as always – so damn right.

It will be impossible for us to be friends after this, I have lost him – forever.

-“Goodbye Eric” Danny said after another pause, and walked away.

He was gone, carried away by the wind.

It was over.

I walked away, to the steet. It was raining. At least I wasn’t alone, the sky was crying along with me.

I started to aimlessly hang around the city, trying to get lost between the people. All I wanted is to escape from the pain I felt, but it was useless.

With every second the pain had gotten only worse. I could feel it, I could feel every piece of my broken heart aching, and nothing could fix it.

The only person in this world that could have done it, was gone – carried away by the wind.

What shall I do now? Where can I go?  Those questions were floating in my mind, but the harder I tried to answer them – I failed.

Move on?  But I couldn’t even think about it.

Go home?  And what I will tell Molly? How I’m going to explain her why I’m I crying?

“The studio” I said to myself, and felt a sudden relief. I can go to my studio.
I can be totally alone there, nobody will bother me – I will be free to cry all my tears, and fall apart – heartbroken.

I took my car, and drove straight to my studio.

When I arrived, I didn’t even bother to turn neither the lights on, nor the heating system – I sat on the ground, it was cold and dark.

It was a stormy day, the clouds totally covered the sky – there was no sun, no moon, no stars... no lights.

Total eclipse of the sun, total eclipse of my heart, total eclipse of my life.

I lost my love, I lost my way.

The rain kept falling down,  hitting the windows.

It’s going to rain anyway. Nothing matters anymore, and he is not here, and we will never be here, by my side... I whispered.

When I got back to the car, it was 4 in the morning. How ironic! I thought.

I have left my mobile phone in a car, and as a result, I had now 40 unanswered calls, and 24 unreplied SMS.... from Molly.

-“Molly” I said, and sighed. Again, I totally forgot about her existance I realised and fel a twitch of guilt as I drove home.

Molly became so relieved when I entered the room.

-“Eric! Oh Eric! Finally...” She said, as she ran into my arms.

It’s cruel, selfish and unfair to let her suffer because of me. Costs that it costs, I’m going to act things over I thought.

-“Where have you been?” Molly asked me.

Luckily, I was smart enough to prepare the answers in advance when I was in the car.

-“In my studio, crazy writing music” I said, with a fake smile.

Tough everything besides the last two words was actually true.

From Molly’s expression, I could tell she believed me.
She trusted me, trust I did not deserve.

-“Ah, cool!” she said, and added: “Sorry for.... interrupting you” She apologized.
Great! Now she is apologizing to me, now she feels guilty, Oh no I thought.

-“Molly, you did not interrupt me” I said, the last thing I wanted is her to feel bad because of me. I loved her too, after all. Of course it was not as much as I loved...him, but still. The thought of Danny made me feel a twitch of pain... I could feel every broken piece of my heart aching, burning again. I was about to break, but I couldn’t , no – I mustn’t. Molly doesn’t deserve to see that, besides, how the hell am I going to explain her it?
I forced myself to continue –“I have just forgotten the phone in my car, and I realised it only when I got back”.

-“Ah, ok, she said.” She said, -“Something happened? You look a bit... sad?”

The question had caught me a bit off guard, so it took some time to answer it.

-“No, I’m just... tired.”

-“Tired? Eric you look like somebody died!”

Damn, was it that obvious? Guess it was, really, Eric, who do you think you’re fooling now, I guess we... The thought of Danny almost knocked me to the groud this time.

-“Eric!” Molly said in a worried tone, -“Eric, you O.K?” she added.

-“Yes Molly, I am... O.K.”

-“No, you’re not, Eric, maybe you need a doctor....?”

-“No, Molly, I don’t...”

-“What the hell is wrong with you?”

-“I really don’t know.”

-“No, no, Eric, I will call a doctor now.”

-“No! Wait! Molly, please... no doctors....” I said, adding: -“Give me some time, it will pass – I know”

Well, being honest – it will not past, but I’m going to pretend it did. As I said, Molly doesn’t deserve to suffer and worry because of me.

-“Ok, Eric” She said.

I looked at her, and thought I love her, truly I do. It’s not enough, not yet..., and it maybe will never be – But I must try, I must do everything to make it happen.

Danny is gone forever, he will never comeback – he will never love me.

Molly is her, she loves me – I love her. I going do everything to make it enough, I going to  try everything in order to... forget him.

Then, I went toward her and kissed her, she kissed me back.

-“I love you.”

-“I love you too, Eric.” Molly said.

I kissed her again.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.7 - "Someone New"

 "IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).




Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Seven – “Someone New”

That’s the way things were. I was crazy rehearsing my performance for the Eurovision, making a lot of interview, TV appearances, etc.
Besides, I was crazy working in the studio, recording my sophmore album.

At home, I continued to play the game of pretence with Molly, pretending that I love her more than ever, pretending she is everything to me.

In fact, I do love her in a way – and she is important to me, but my heart belong to someone else, it belongs to Danny.

Fooling Molly was very easy, firstly because she was friends with Danny. She was also very busy, concerned more about her life, her friends, her blog, her... whatever it was. I felt guilty for it, tough.

Danny was also busy recording his new album, rehearsing for  both his solo tour and his band’s, E.M.D, tour.

At home, he was doing the same thing as I did – lying to his girlfriend Janna about his feelings. The only difference was that Janna was important to him a lot more than Molly was important to me. He was afraid, no, he was scared to death about the thought of hurting her. They have been together for eight years, and I must say that they had a big, big, love going on untill I arrived.
Being honest, Janna was really everything for him, literally.

In addition to that, fooling Janna was harder – since her world was centred around Danny.
She did notice that there’s something going on with Danny, but she doesn’t understand what – since he has no girls, and Janna will never believe that Danny cheats on her with me, Eric Saade,  behind her back.

Whenever we had time, we used to sell lies to our girlfriends, and run off to one of Stockholms hotel room’s to be together.
Those were the only happy and calm night in the past few months for us. The rest were full of pressure and stress.
It had only gotten worse due to the fact that we couldn’t fully be ourselves, since our relationship is supposed to be a secret. We always had to put on a show everywhere we go, but those nights we shared together at the hotel room.

I really own my sanity to those few meeting and to Danny especially, he was always there for me when I needed him.

Stress, stress was all I felt 99% of the time, I found myself often asking Should I continue? Should I go on? And telling myself I can’t take it anymore!!!   I really got sick of the lies and the game or ptetence. The only person in the world I could talk about my feeling, my fears was Danny. He always calmed down my fears, he was the only person who understood me.

-“Eric, everything will be alright... don’t worry, I will always be there for you. I love you, more than you ever know”

He used to say and kiss me, everytime I ranted.

Danny is everything to me – the love I felt for had no limits, everything was worth it... including the pain it caused sometimes.

Was, I said to myself in a worried tone, exactly was I repeated in my mind
It’s been two weeks since I last saw him, over this two weeks – he never texted me, he never answered the phone, I haven’t even got a single e-mail from him.
It was weird. Because even if we were far away from each other, he always talked via mobile phone, we always texted each other, we always exchanged
e-mails, and now... total silence.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I had a feeling it was useless, but I have decided to give it a try, in the 1 000^th time – I tried to call Danny. He didn’t answered.
In the 1 000^th time – I tried to text him. Still, no reply.

I had already spammed Danny ‘s e-mail inbox with tons of messages, all of them reminded without a reply. I begun to worry, what happened to Danny? I found myself frequently asking it.

Is he alright? I asked, Maybe he is sick... I thought, but doesn’t make sense, he would have told me. Nothing made sense – and I was worried, scared, and stressed.

One day, when I couldn’t take that silence anymore – it was slowly killing me, I drove my car straight to Danny’s house.

When I got to his door, he was standing there, waiting for me.

-“Oh Eric, I had a feeling you will come... took you long, I must say” He said, in a very sharped, in a very cold tone. Danny never spoke to me like that.
This statement made me freeze, I was unable to move, I was unable to speek.

-“Eric, don’t stare at me like an idiot, what do you want from me?” He said, again in a very sharp voice, he sounded so harsh. He clearly wasn’t happy about me being hear, I wondered why.

-“Oh, Janna is here?” I realised.

-“No” He answered.

No? What the fuck is going on here? I asked myself.

-“Then why...?” I was beginning to say, but Danny interrupted me.

-“It’s over, Eric” Danny said.
It took me few seconds to understand what he ment.

I starred at him, shocked. I couldn’t bear what he said.