THERE'S A PLACE FOR US - Chapter No.10 - "There's a Place For Us"

“There's a Place For Us” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Ten – There’s A Place For Us

Time passed. There was no sight of Danny – no calls, no messages, no e-mails, no nothing. He just did not want to see, to hear, to know about – me.

All I knew, thanks to his girlfriend Janna, Erik and Matte of E.M.D, and the press - was that he was O.K.

I listened to what London told me once, I stayed away from him, I gave him time – as much as he would need.

I did not want Danny to be hurt, I did not want Danny to suffer.

I did not want this to get worse – and I knew, my presence, will lead to that.

“If you see things go wrong with Danny. If you see that your love and your presence do not lead to good for him, let it go – before it gets to late.”
As london said to me.

I tried to be normal – for Molly, for my friends, for my family.

The weird part of it, was that I actually succeeded.

I went to Spain with Molly and our families for my vocation, I continued my summer tour called “Made of Pop”, I hanged out with my friends...

Of couse, I have been missing Danny like crazy. It’s not that there was no pain, no vain – it’s that this time, I learned how to control it.

I left those feelings and my tears to the time I was alone, locked in my studio.

One day, as I got home, Molly was waiting for me – with a letter.

-“Eric, this is for you, from Danny. I’ve found it in the mail box today” She said, and handed me the letter.

What the fuck? Why Danny writes letters to me? What have he written in this letter what he couldn’t say to me... on the phone, face to face...? I thought, as I oppened it, and begun to read.

Eric. I am so sorry for doing things this way, knowing it is wrong and cruel. But, it’s the only possible way left for us, trust me, it will be the best – for both of us.

I will not lie telling you that I don’t love you anymore, because I do, truly – I do.

I love you Eric, I love you more than words can express. I will always love you.
It doesn’t change anything, tough. Sorry.

No, I do not want to go – but aswell, I cannot stay.

Yes, I want to remember – but aswell, I need to forget.

There are so many words trapped inside me, words I would like to tell you.

Yet, all I can write, is this pathetic goodbye message. Sorry.

I sincerely hope you will forgive me one day.

I swear that my heart will remain forever yours.

Te amo. Te quiero. Lo siento.

Who knows?

“....A world when you and I belong,
When fate and love will keep as stong,
Exactly who we are is just enough...

There’s a place for us... There’s a place for us...”

Everytime I will close my eyes, I will see your face.

Everytime I will dream at night, I will dream of you.

Sorry it has to be this way.

Sorry nothing could be changed.

Love is not enough sometimes.

Adiós,

Danny.

The blood run out of my face, the letter fell out of my hands.

I stood here, in front of Molly, shocked and speechless.

-“Eric!” She said, -“Eric you alright, what the hell is going on?” She demanded.

I could not answer her. I remained silent.

Molly looked into my eyes for few second, and then, hesistately, she picked up Danny’s letter from the floor, and begun to read it.

I did not stop her. I saw no reason to do it, now, that everything was officially over.

I had the feeling deep inside me that the end was near.

But hearing... the final words was something I could not handle.

If before, I had the smallest hope for us – not it had vanished away, leaving what’s left of me behind.

Vad vore jag... utan dina andetag...?* I thought.

-”So... it was Danny. All the time it was Danny... I knew it.” Molly said, and handed me the letter back.

-“I’m sorry Molly.” I said, willing to fall down on my knees and beg for pardon if that would be necessary. Losing her I would not stand.

-“Me too...” She said.

-“For what?”

-“For what happened to you with Danny. I think I understand now, more or less, some details are missing, tough... Can you tell me?” She asked me.

I did not answer. Not because I did not want to, I just... couldn’t get those words out of my mouth. Physically and mentally.

-“You need to be alone.” Molly said, as I remained quiet. It wasn’t a question – it was a statement, and God, the girl was so right. –“Then go away, Eric – go to your studio, be alone as much as you need. I will be waiting for you, always...” She said, leaving me with shocked expression.

-“Molly... Molly... Thank you, for everything. No words enough to tell you how much I love you.” I said, and hugged her. She hugged me back.

-“Jag vet det, Eric, jag vet...”** She said. –”See you, then. Call me when you are on your way home – I’ll cook something nice.” She added, and continued –“Don’t worry Eric, you can tell me the whole story... when you will be ready. I understand. Who knows? Maybe I will figure it out myself...”

-“Maybe you will, you’re smart.” I told her.

-“Anyways, see you Eric – you need to be alone.”

-“Yes, I do” I admited, and walked away – to my studio.

As I walked to my car, I let my thoughts to run freely in my mind. Those thoughts brought back all I wanted to deny and hide in the past weeks.

I knew it.This time it was final. This time it was really the end.

The letter Danny had left pretty much said everything.

The letter Danny had left was the only thing of him I will own.

I got in the car, and headed to my studio – I needed some time alone, by myself.

I looked at the letter, and begun to read it again.

Te amo. Te quiero. Lo siento.

Sorry it has to be this way.

Sorry nothing could be changed.

Love is not enough sometimes.

Meanwhile, tears were streaming down my face – as I was losing something I would never be able to replace.

I felt as if I was swimming in the ocean, in the middle of a storm. I was lost, and I was losing control, and drowning. Slowly, I was going down – and my air suply was being taken away from me.

I had no air. I coudn’t breath.

But yet, the desire – to live – has burned inside me.

I did not give up, I kept on fighting – until my last breath.

It was the break of dawn, I had no disire to go home – I needed some time on my own, by myself. So it will be just me, in my studio. Pain is one of those things you face alone.

Quietly, I drove by the city straight to my studio. Trying, as hard as I could, concentrate on the road and built a shied, and will protect me – from the hurt and the vain, from the emptyness, and the pain.

When I finally reached the studio, I slowly locked the door of my car, afterwards, I headed to my studio.

Suddenly, as I reacher its’ door, I realised it was already openned.

What the fuck? My studio has nothing valuable that can be stolen, I thought to myself.

It was dangerous, I knew it. Tough, at that point, I simply did not care – or more correctly, I simply haven’t tough. In addition to the following, the curiousity inside me was burning – I just simply openned the door, walked in, and frooze.

My shied, the shied I was trying to built – to protect me from the cold, from the rain, from the emptyness, from the pain, and vain...

My shied, my protection – has fallen apart, as if it never was, as if it has never existed at all, I could feel it falling down, I could feel its’ pieces on the ground....

It all happened in one single moment, it all happened because of one single look.

I was drowning in the ocean, the ocean of my emotions, ilusions, memories.

Danny Saucedo stood near the window, with his eyes closed, his face lighten by the sunlight, was so beautiful.

He seemed to be concentrating on something else, he didn’t even notice me.

-“Danny...” I called him quietly.

Immediately, Danny has oppened his gorgerous deep blue eyes, and looked my way.

Even if I could run to a land, that would be far away from the ocean, it would not save me from the huge flood coming my direction – this time I did not fight back, I gave up, and let it all – rain over me. Sigh.

He stood there, in my studio – looking at me with tears in his eyes, and sad smile on his face. He sighed when he had seen me, and his blue eyes looked at me – as if he was filming me in his mind – as if it was the last time we saw each other. He said nothing.

-“Danny...” I said, as I got closer to him –“Danny, it has been a while...” I added.

He remained silent – still not saying a thing – he had just nodded in agreement.

The silence was too much for me to bear. I couldn’t stand it. Simply I couldn’t.

-“Danny, you’re killing me! Say something!” I said, and looked at him with pleading expression. –“Please... Danny...” I added, in a soft tone.

-“Sorry Eric...” Was all he had managed to say in return.

-“Is it the end then?” I asked him, and felt my knees shaking.

He had closed his eyes, few tears streamed down his face – meanwhile he confirmed my worse possible nightmares ever.

-“Yes... it is the end... of the road, of our road.” He said.

As broken as I was, nevertheless, I have decided to put all possible effort – and stay strong, don’t fall apart, to be brave – and face the reality.

I will not look for an espace this time, I will stand on the line – and fight.

I did not fall down on the ground.

He had not seen me cry.

As much as all I wanted was to go, to disappear,

I have stayed – I did not run away.

The funniest thing was the fact I wasn’t doing this for me, not at all – I was doing this for him, for Danny. Even that now, when thinking of his name – that brought so many memories up in my mind, so many broken dreams  – hurt me so much.

It haven’t changed a single thing. I love him. I will always love him.

I knew he loves me aswell, maybe his feelings are even stronger than mine, who knows.

I knew he was doing this for me – for us – because he thinks being apart is better for us.

Who knows? Maybe he is right.

Danny doesn’t deserve to suffer – he had enough of pain for the past weeks, including near dead experience, that was caused because of me...  That was  why I haven’t said a single thing, that’s why I did not let to my tears to fall down, my face to show signs of pain, my eyes to express the emptyness.

I smiled at him, and reached toward him in order to give him a hug – probably for the last time in a while.

-“Thank you for everything, Danny...” I whispered softly in his ear, as I hugged him.

Danny hugged me back, and made me realise how I will simply miss him.

How I will simply miss his beautiful smile.

How I will simply miss his gorgerous blue eyes.

The warmth of his body, the kindness of his heart... Sigh.

-“Goodbye Eric.” He said after the hug, and left.

Leaving everything behind.

*From Swedish: ”What would I be... without your breath?” Lyrics from “Utan Dina Andetag” song by the Swedish rockband Kent.

Kent is one of Danny’s favourite bands, and “Utan Dina Andetag” is one of his favourite songs by them.

**From Swedish: “I know it, Eric, I know...”

EPILOGUE – “In The Aftermath”

I haven’t seen Danny since that day. Of course, I saw him in public events, on the TV, on the radio. I read about him in magazines, newspapers, the internet.... but it wasn’t the same. We haven’t met since that day, the final day – for us.

My life was fine, could have been better – but also, it could have been worse. I am not complaining. I am so lucky to have friends and family who support me, and Molly...

Molly’s reaction to what had happened caught me by surprise. She is so patient, so caring, so... loving.

Shame – this is exactly what I feel now, knowing how unfair I was to her. It’s a miracle she takes me as I am and forgives me for everything now.

I often caught myself thinking what would I do, who would I be without her. Now I realise; I’d do nothing, I’d be no-one. Without Molly – I would not survive, I would be lost – like a small leaf, that fell from its’ tree.

Well, maybe Danny was just right when he said that it is better for us to be apart. He has Janna, I have Molly.

And maybe he wasn’t... Who knows? - God only knows...

It doesn’t change a thing, however.

I’m still loving him.

****

TO BE CONTINUED! (maybe...) 

THERE'S A PLACE FOR US - Chapter No.9 - "Bury Me Alive"

“There's a Place For Us” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Nine – Bury Me Alive

Janna’s silence about Dave worried me. It was obvious there was something more to tell, and yet she didn’t – I was looking for the reason.

Maybe... I thought Maybe, she wants me to figure it out myself.

“I don’t want him to end up like... Dave.” She said, why would Danny end up like Dave? What exactly had happened to him? I have asked myself.

Something in me was not letting me to leave this theme behind.

Something in me was telling me to go – and figure it out.

I stood on the road, hesistating a bit.

How am I going to do this?

Who to ask?

Why for?

-“For Danny.” I said to myself, and all the doubts were gone. The desicion has been made, I dicided to follow my mind – and find out what Janna didn’t tell me.

I ordered a taxi, and got back to the place I have left my car before. I openned the door, and got in.

I grabbed my iPhone, and went online. I googled “Dave Lepard” and scanned various sites, searching for info regarding Dave.

A memorial website powered by Crashdiet’s official website, letters from fans, tributes, pictures, videos, everything but.... what I needed.

There was not a single clue that could answer my questions.

I sighed. Almost giving up on the idea, but... something has suddenly caught my attention. Dave lived and died in Uppsala, according to the information – I realised. I am in Uppsala.

I wasted no time thinking, simply begun to drive. I located the cemetery in Uppsala, and drove there - following the GPS instructions.

After some time, I finally got there. Now it was searching Dave’s grave.

Irrational, this was it. Because honestly, I did not know what I am doing. I did not knew even the reasons of, the logic behind my action.

It seemed to me as if I was a voodoo doll, lead by someone else.

I never really been that type to be superstitious, not that I would say I’m super religious... until this moment.

I was willing to believe in anything now.

Hidden force brought me here, hidden force has been leading me all the way to the place Dave was burried in.

  David Roberto Hellman

28/05/1980 - 20/01/2006

                R.I.P

I sighed, feeling something inside me – something I did not know neighter what it is, nor how to call it.

For some unknown reason, I started crying.

For some unknown reason, I have forgotten everything – my name, the location, the reason I am here, even Danny...

What the hell? I asked myself, shocked.

I haven’t had the chance to meet Dave personally, not that I knew something about him until today.

However, standing here, nearby his grave, made me feel something I could not decode, something I could not desribe.

It seemed to me as if I knew him.

It seemed to me as if he wanted to tell me something.

Am I sane? I asked myself. Guess I’m not! I ansered.

Then, I have noticed I wasn’t alone there.

A tall blonde guy, with really long hair, dressed as a rockstar from the 80’s – was standing near me, gazing at me with his questioning, brown eyes.

-“Who the hell are you? What the fuck are you doing here?” He asked me, automatically, I took few steps back – the guy seemed dangerous to me.

-“I’m... My name is Eric, Eric Saade.” I said, nervously. The real question should be who the hell was he, and what the fuck was he doing there. Sigh. -“I’m... well, it’s a long story...” I said, answering the second question.

-“I have time. Explain.” He said, sounding more friendly now.

-“At first, may you please be dear and tell me who are you, and the reason you are here.” I demanded him.

The guy seemed to be shocked hearing my small demand, as if I was supposed to know him somehow. Have to say it surprised me he did not know who I was.

-“I’m Dave’s friend, my name is Peter, Peter London*. I think it’s pretty obvious what I am doing here... now tell me your long story, please.”

-“I...well, you know Danny Saucedo?”

-“I do. He’s a very nice guy, and Dave’s cousin. Too bad he does creepy pop music now, the bastard had potentional...”

-“You sound as if I know him personally...” I noted.

-“I do.” He said.

-“How?” I asked.

-“Man, have you fallen from the sky or what? Maybe you’re an alien, you aren’t green tough. Haha! You are really NOT informed!” Peter stated.

-“Sorry, inform me, please.” I asked him.

-“Well, I’m part of Crashdiet aswell.” He said  -“You know, the rock band that was founded by Dave. He was the lead singer until he passed away, I’m the bassist.” Peter explained, after he saw I had no idea about what he was talking

-“After Dave’s dead...” He continued – “We offered Danny to join and replace him, but the guy refused...”

-“Oh!” I said, finally understanding.

-“Now, tell me your story, please.” Peter demanded me.

-“Alright!” I said, and explain Peter the whole story, without even censoring a single detail.

I have known him only for few minutes, perhaps, but I felt as if I knew him for years. I had a feeling he will understand me – and after I was done, I saw I was right. Peter did.

-“Ah, I see...” Peter said in thoughtful voice after I explained him the story. –“So, you are here to... find out what happened to Dave, and why Danny could end up like him...” He suggested.

-“Exactly, you’re smart.” I confirmed. Seriously, today everybody is smart – but me. Why?

-“Dave was filling out of control, you know. He had the feeling time was running out, so much he wanted to do... yet he couldn’t. Twenty-four hours were not enough, he needed like... forty-eight. He became really depressed, and later got involved with drugs. Time passed, things got worse, he... locked himself in that God damned room and hanged himself... Oh God...” Peter said, and sighed.

-“I’m sorry...”

-“If I only knew... It’s now, now that I begin to understand the reason. Eric, look, Dave has lost contact with his family, his friends, even us... I mean, for example, he and Danny – they were so damn close – and because of Dave’s depression and drugs – they lost contact. We tried to talk to him, everything was useless – he would only think we are against him, and get even mor depressed.

Now, when you told me that story, I think I got it!” He said, and looked at me with a thankful smile. Then, he continued.

-“Dave did not have that special person who could hold him here. Unlike you, and unlike Danny.” He said.

-“Oh! Now I see, now everything makes fucking sense!” I said, shocked at my words, now I’m speaking like a rockstar... Oh my...

I continued talking to Peter for the next few hours, we were talking about random subjects: From the music industry, to... spiritual subjects like love, death, etc.

I liked the guy’s attitude, he was very different from the others.

Peter wasn’t that typical “rockstar”, whose image I had in my mind.

The boy was smart, and very down to earth.**

For the first time during the day, I was... feeling normal – thanks to him.

-“So, I guess we’ll see each other again, one day...” I said to Peter, before leaving.

-“Haha, yes! It was nice to meet you, Eric. Too bad...”

-“I’m doing creepy pop music. Sorry, Mr. London.”

-“Haha, yes, it’s O.K. So, goodbye boy! Wish you good luck, and tell Danny I said ‘Hi’ – I really hope he will get better...”

-“Goodbye, London.”

-“Hej då, Eric.” He said, and then, looked at me with hesistation. I knew he wanted to say something, yet he wasn’t sure if he should.

-“Get this out of your chest already, London. I don’t bite.” I said, and smiled.

-“Damn, it’s about Danny...” He said, and smiled in apology, -“I hate saying this, truly Eric, I do. But I....” London did not finish the sentence, and looked at me.

-“Say it.” I demanded.

-“If you see things go wrong with Danny. If you see that your love and your presence do not lead to good for him, let it go – before it gets to late. If you know what I mean....” He said, -“Sorry...” He added.

-“You are right, London. Don’t worry, I was considering this option aswell.”

-“For now, what I would do if I were you – is give the boy some time.” He recommended me, and again – he was right.

-“You are right. This is what I would do.” I said.

-“Goodbye Saade, take care” He told me, in the end of our conversation.

-“Goobye London, thanks for everything” I thanked him, and walked away – to my car.

I had begun to drive back, back home, to Stockholm.

*Peter London – The bassist of the band “Crashdiet” founded by Dave Lepard. Very down to earth, open minded, spiritual and sweet guy.

Peter is also part of “Alter Egon” – which was founded by him, and there – he sings, and plays all the instruments.

The songs (all written by him) are all in Swedish, and talk about freedom – especially the sexual one.

**In addition to Crashdiet and Alter Egon, London also worked on what he called “A regular shitty job” since he had no money to pay the bills.

In addition to that, the band’s official forum (www.crashdiet.org/forum) is moderated by him.

The story about Dave Lepard death is PURELY fictional.
It is only MY theory based on INTERVIEWS. Do NOT take it seriously. 

THERE'S A PLACE FOR US - Chapter No.8 - "Rest In Sleaze"

“There’s a Place For Us” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Eight – Rest In Sleaze

             

He was already awake as I entred the room. When I had walked in, he turned to stare at me with his blue eyes that seemed thoughtful, and expressed sadness.

I stood near the bed he was lying on, waiting for him to speak – but he continued looking at me silently.

-“Danny, I’m sorry.” I said finally, gazing straight into his blue eyes.

-“So am I, Eric.” He responded in a dead tone. I noticed how some tears streamed down his red cheeks – he did not even bother to wipe them away.

-“Danny, Danny, don’t... don’t cry.” I said, and looked down. It was the first time I have seen him shedding tears, and I prayed it would be last.

I coundn’t bear it. I coundn’t stand it – especially knowing it was all my fault, it was me – because of whom he was crying.

All I ever wanted was to see him happy, to see him smiling and...

Then, after few minutes of silence – of intolerable silence, I raised my head up – and looked at him. His expression was thoughtful, doubtful – it had seemed to me he was considering some serious things. He looked as if he was making a decision that might effect his whole life.

Danny had looked at me for few seconds, his expression changed – it was something I couldn’t decode. He sighed.

-“Eric, I... so many things I wanted to say to you now – but I am unable to. I just can’t! I can’t!” He said in a voice full of sadness and regret. He looked as if something has tore him apart, broken in pieces. It has reminded me the way he looked after... the crash.

The memory brought so much pain to me, I tried my best to hide it.

Danny does not deserve to see it. I thought to myself, and said:

-“It’s OK, Danny... There’s so much things I would like to tell you aswell.” I admited, and smiled at him.

-“Then do it.” He ordered, closed his eyes – and let some tears to fall down.

-“I’m sorry for everythig I have done. I know, I don’t deserve your forgiveness, neither your love, nor even the opportunity to speak to you. I only want you to know that I love you, and maybe one day – you’ll forgive me.” I said in a broken voice –“Sorry, Danny. I love you.” I added, and wiped away my tears.

-“You’re done?” He asked me. I noticed the change in his voice – now, he sounded sharp – mean.

-“Yes...” I said, a bit... shocked from his expression.

-“Then go the hell out of here!” He shouted at me, leaving me shocked – breathless.

I said nothing in return. I mean, what can I say? Especially knowing he was right. What else did I except but this reception? It was exactly what I have deserved.

I turned away, and walked out of his room. I felt dead, broken, torn apart.

All I wanted was to go away, far away from here – so I begun to walk fast toward the exit.

-“Eric!” Somebody called me, after few seconds – I regocnized the voice, it was Janna.

I turned around, she was few meters away from me – I walked toward her.

-“Eric, what happened?” She demanded.

I remained silent. No, it’s not that I did not want to tell her – I just couldn’t get the words out of my mouth. I felt to miserable, so helpless.

Janna was a smart girl, my silence was enough for her to understand everything.

-“Oh, I’m sorry...” She said, and touched my arm.

-“It’s not fault, Janna – don’t apologize to me. I am the one who should apologize to you, and i will do it now.” I said, -“I’m sorry, Janna.” I added.

-“Don’t be ridiculous. May I know what is your fault exactly?”

-“I stole your boyfriend and almost caused his death.” I confessed.

-“Danny overreacted. It’s not your fault.” She said, looking straight into my eyes.

What the hell was wrong with her? She was supposed to defend her boyfriend, she was supposed to hate me. Yet, here she stood – defending me.

-“Janna... tell me, why?” I said, -“Why are you defending me? Why are you trying to make me feel better?” I asked her, -“Tell me, I want to know.” I added.

-“Eric, look, I care – about both of you. I want you and Danny to be happy.” She answered me, and I was shocked, speechless I stood there.

Janna read my expression, smiled, and said:

-“You’re a good boy. I can see exactly why Danny had chosen you, and I understand perfectly his feelings toward you, Eric.

I’m not an idiot, neighter am I blind – I was Danny to be happy. I know that the only way for him to be happy, is being with you... and me.

He can’t choose, and I think you and I, we will not force it on him, right?” She asked, and I nodded, still unable to speak.

-“Eric, see, I don’t want him to end up like... Dave. You know the full story, right?” She questioned me.

-“To be honest with you, I don’t.” I confessed.

-“Dave was Danny’s cousin. He was depressed, life was way too much for him. He had done drugs, and then – one day – He was found dead, after he... hanged himself...” Janna said, and sighed. I understood from what she said, there was something more then – but the information was not for me.

-“I’m sorry, Janna.” I said, after a really long pause, when I lost the power of speech.

-“Eric, everything will be alright.” Janna said, and sighed. –“Go home, you deserve some rest. Don’t worry about Danny, I’m here – I’ll take care of him, and if there’s something important – I will definetely call you.

Also, he will forgive you – trust me. He loves you. I know it.”

-“Thank you for everything, Janna.” I said, and smiled.

Words were not enough to express how thankful I was to that girl.

-“You’re welcome, Eric.” She said, -“Goodbye! See you!” She added.

-“Goodbye, Janna! See you!” I said, and walked away.

Only I wasn’t going home.

There was something I needed to do. 

THERE'S A PLACE FOR US - Chapter No.7 - "Crash and Survive"

“There’s a Place For Us” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Seven – Crash and Survive

-“No, Danny! No” I screamed, automatically, knowing he will never hear me.

-“No, Danny! Danny” I continued screaming, and realised it was too late for him, too late for me, too late for us.

-“Danny...” I whispered, and fell on my knees, and my eyes filled up with darkness, pain, dust.

I could not even cry, I just tried to search for the light – but I failed to find it.

I waited for the end to come, and take me away – I silently thanked God for the fact that right now, nobody saw me.

Everybody around me was screaming, -“Call an ambulance... He’s bleeding! He is loosing tons of blood” someone shouted, after few seconds I recognized the voice – it was Erik Segerstedt.

-“Get Danny out of his car!” Erik said, -“Let’s take care of him until professional help arrives” He ordered.

Alongside with Mattias Andréasson, and the rest of Danny’s dancers they pulled Danny out of his car.

He was unconscious, bleeding.

His face expressed agony.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

It was all my fault.

Yes, my fault.

-“I’m sorry, Danny” I whispered quietly into the silence, knowing no one is hearing me right now.

Why? Danny? Why? I asked him in my might all over, knowing he will never answer me. All I wanted was to fide a way, and dissappear.

It not fair, I told to myself. It’s not fair, selfish, cruel, and impossible to run away from what I have done now.

I walked toward Danny, meanwhile the ambulance had finally arrived.

Thanks God! I though, and sighed.

The doctors begun to take care of Danny, I slowsly turned away.

I couldn’t look at him. It hurted way too much – especially when realising that I was literally the reason why he is like that, broken open, bleeding, hardly alive.

No, No, No it can’t be true! I must be dreaming! I tried to convice myself, while tears streamed down myself.

What if he will d...? I was about to ask myself, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

So, I ran away and stood by Erik’s and Matte’s side.

-“Eric, what happened to him?” Erik asked me.

-“I... I really don’t know.” I lied.

-“How we are going to tell this to Janna? Oh, no!” Matte said, and looked at Erik, and then at me. –“I can’t do this!”

-“And to his parents, imagine what will it to them! At first, it was Dave*, now Danny....” He said, looked at us again, and repeated –“I can’t do this!”.

We all looked down, and for a long moment – we said nothing.

We quietly got in the car, and I drove to the hospital.

Meanwhile, Erik had called Janna and Danny’s parents.

It was hard to listen as he was explaining to them what has happened with Danny. It was even harder knowing I was the one responsible for what has occured to him.

I swear, that if I could – if that could save him, I would give my life now for him.

I was the one who was supposed to be there, in his place.

It was all my fault.

-“Eric!” Matte suddenly called me.

-“Eric, please, watch the road – and if you can’t drive, let’s call a taxi – it is the best option. I don’t want us to...”

He was right. I was definitely not in the condition to drive.

Honestly, I did not mind crashing, furthermore, I deserved it – but it was not Erik and Matte’s fault.

I stopped the car, and said –“Call the taxi. You are right, I can’t drive!” as some tears fell streamed down my cheeks, I quickly wiped them away.

-“Eric, it’s alright... calm down.” Matte told me, and Erik put his arm on my shoulder.

-“Danny will be alright!” Erik has said, as Matte ordered taxi.

-“What if...?” I was beginning to ask, but then closed my mouth.

What if he will not? What if he will...  I wasn’t even able to think about it.

Tough, in my heart, I knew what I would do if... if...

-“You don’t even know how important he is to me, he is... more than a friend to me.” I said quietly.

-“Yes, yes, we do... he is more than a friend for us aswell. He is like a brother for us. I can’t even...” Erik said.

-“Let’s not speak about it, boys...” Matte suggested, and we got quiet.

We were sitting in silence until the taxi had finally arrived.

The silence continued as we got in the hospital.

The receptionist informed us about Danny’s location, and we followed her instructions and got there. There was a doctor there. For a moment, we stood quietly looking at each other with hesistation in our eyes. Afterwards, Matte sighed – and went toward him.

-“Hello, excuse me...” He said, -“My friend, Daniel Saucedo is hospitalized here. Can you please tell me about his condition?” Matte asked the doctor.

-“Oh, the guy that has commited a suicide?”

-“Yes, will he....?

-“I don’t know. Besides his broken bones, he also demaged his brain – and lost lots of blood. We are doing everything to save him – But I can’t....”

This was enough for me. I was unable to be present in this conversation.

I had simply walked away, feeling Erik and Matte’s look on my back.

-“Call me if whenever there’s news, I’ll be outside.” I said to them, before I disappeared.

I was sitting in the banch near the hospital for a while, for the first time in my life – I have smoked. Until now, I never did it – moreover, I hated it. As of now, I just needed to calm myself – no other option was know to be but that one.

-“Hello...” A female voice said, clearly to me – since there was nobody else there. I conitued starring down, pretending I don’t hear  –“Hello Eric...” She said again, as I haven’t reacted in anyway.

This time I looked up, and frooze.

I was Janna Lundh Gränesjö, Danny’s girlfriend.

-”Oh, Hi...” I said to her, trying to sound polite.

-“I’m Janna.” She introduced herself to me, tough it was needless – I already know who she was, eventough I haven’t formally met her until now.

-“I’m Eric.” I said, failed to find something else to say.

Janna sat by my side, -“Since were you smoke?” She asked me.

-“Since now.” I answered, and noticed the lifeless, the cold tone of my voice.

-“Oh, I understand...” Janna said.

We sat in silence few minutes, then, Janna suddenly asked me the question I feared the most.

-“Eric, can you please tell me the truth – what has happened to him? What has happened to Danny?” She asked me.

-“I... I don’t...” I was beginning to say, but she interrupted me.

-“You do. Eric, don’t lie to me. I already know about you both.”

-“You what?” I said, in shock.

-“I know you and Danny are... lovers. Don’t deny it, just tell me the truth, please. I’m asking you as a friend...” Janna said, looking straight into my eyes.

-“What? How?” I asked, shocked – almost jumping on the banch.

-“I begun to notice the change in Danny long time ago.
His behaviour, the tone of his voice, the look in his eyes, the fact he was frequently telling me is off to meet Erik, Matte, or any other friend of his – but when I called them, they did not know what I was talking about... it was clear to me he has found someone else, only I wondered who it was.

Then, I noticed the change in him whenever you appeared on the TV. I noticed the change in him, and the frequency you guys called each other...” She said to me, and smiled. I understood she was not hating me, and sighed in relief.

Tough, it might change soon I realised.

-“You are smart!” I said to her. Danny wasn’t lying when he told me how clever she is.

-“No, it was just 1+1, and I know how to add. Besides, I knew Danny prefers me to all the female around here – only I was not sure about the males. You know, he was...”

-“... Into guys once.” I completed the sentece.

-“Yes, I see you are informed. Now back to the topic. Eric, please, tell me what happened. I’m begging – I swear I will keep your secret just... let me know.” She said, and looked at me.

-“Alright!” I said, and sighed.

–“Danny had introduced me to Erik and Matte. After E.M.D’s concert, Danny was absent while me, Erik, and Matte were making jokes in the locker room.

I... I have kissed Erik, it was just a joke – I had no idea Danny was there. I had no idea he would take is so seriously. No, it’s not an excuse of what I have done.

I admit it is my fault, I should have thought of what I was doing – I should have thought about its’ consequences, I know. I’m taking full resposibily for this.

But I swear I had no freaking idea. I’m so...”

-“It’s not your fault.” Janna said, interrupting me.

I turned to stare at her, not believing my eyes and ears. I excepted hearing dirty words, and being killed, and... she was trying to make me better – when I was responsible for the suicide her boyfriend has commited.

-“From all the people in this world...” I begun to say,

-“I am the one to comfort you.” She completed my sentence.

-“Why?” I questioned her.

-“First – because it really isn’t, Eric, you meant no harm. Second – if I was to blame you, would it help? Would it change something? Would it save Danny? The answer is ‘No’, then, what’s the point?” She said, and sighed.

I was speechless, I did not know what to answer her. As a result, I found myself strarring with shame at the ground.

-“It doesn’t change anything, Janna. What is done is done, nothing else but the results matters.” I managed to say finally.

-“Eric, Danny is going to forgive you. I’m sure he doesn’t want you to feel this way...”

-“Danny might forgive me, if he....” I was beginning to say, then I noticed how Janna’s face twitched with pain –“Sorry, nevermind, of course he will but... Look, Janna, I will not be able to forgive myself – never!”.

-“Eric, you...” She was beginning to say, as my phone rang – and interrupted her speech.

I picked up the phone and looked at the number. It was Matte, he was calling me, and I aswered, obviously.

-“Hello Matte.” I greated him, trying to sound normal.

-“Hello Eric.” He greated me, and I noticed a slight of relief in his voice.

-“How is Danny’s condition? How is he?” I asked him with burning curiousity.

-“Danny is alright. He is awake.”

-“Thanks God! How is he feeling?”

-“I don’t know yet, haven’t had a chance to speak with him. Eric, listen up, where you at? What are you doing?” Matte questioned me.

-“I’m sitting at the banch nearby the hospital and talking to Janna.” I informed him.

-“Oh, Janna is here?” He asked, a bit surprised.

-“Yes, she is.” I answered.

-“How is she doing? Is she alright? Why isn’t she here?”

-“She is doing fine. I don’t know why she isn’t up, ask her!” I responded.

-“Oh, good. Well, Eric – Danny wants to speak with you. He wouldn’t talk to anybody else now, can you come up?” He asked.

-“Sure, I’m on my way!” Danny wants to talk with me? I asked myself, in complete shock. I thought he will not want to see me at all.

-“Goodbye Eric, see you soon!” He said.

-“Goodbye Matte!” I said, and ended the conversation.

A relief of happiness filled up my mind. Danny is alright. Danny is alive.

My lover, my life – is alright. Nothing else mattered to me at this point.

-“Go on, Eric. Settle thing up with him. He is going to forgive you, I know it. Danny loves you more than you ever know!” Janna said, and my jaw dropped out in shock. This is the kind of phrase you don’t except to hear from the girlfriend of your boyfriend, whom you steal from her.

-“Danny loves me more than I deserve.” I said to her, she openned her mouth to protest but I interrupt her, by not letting her to speak –“Janna, thank you for everything. You’re an amazing woman. I must say you deserve Danny more than I do. Also, it’s clear you even love and care for him more than I do.” I said, and smiled to her.

If before, I did not like Janna – it all changed today.

She was so different from what... I thought she was.

Don’t judge a book by it’s cover they say?

-“Thanks Eric” She thanked me. –“But it doesn’t change anything. He loves you more than he loves me. This is it. Now, let’s go up – you have to settle thing up with Danny.”

-“Yes!” I said, as we both stood up, and headed to the room Danny was in.

*Dave Lepard R.I.P – The former lead singer of the Swedish sleazy metal band called Crashdiet. Dave was a drug addict, suffered from depression, and has commited a suicide. He was Danny Saucedo’s cousin – they were really close to each other.

Dave was Danny’s inspiration, “Genious” as he called him...