IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.6 - "For You... I Break Myself In Two"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).
 

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Six – “For you... I Break Myself In Two”

-“It’s time for me to go” I realised suddenly, and sighed.

-“Oh rght...” Danny said in agreement.

-“I bet Molly and Janna think we are both lying half dead on the floor with a hell of a hangover” I said, and Danny laughed.

-“Boy, when will I see you again?” Danny questioned me.

-“I really don’t know” I admited, adding –“Hopefully soon... I need you.”

-“I need you too, Eric” Danny confessed, and continued –“But of course – you’ll be very busy now... Eurovision, new album, upcoming summer tour and... Molly.”

-“Molly... I hate that part when I am forced to lie to her, cheat on her and pretend that... you know.”

-“Yes, I know, Eric. I hate that too, when I am forced to lie to Janna. But what can we do?”

-“Escape!!!” I suggested

-“Where? To vegas?” Danny asked, grinning.

-“Yes, why not?”

-“Eric, are you proposing to me?”

-“Sure, Danny – but I don’t have a ring, Molly took them all.”

We both laughed, and Danny gave me a warm hug.

-“I’m so sorry, Eric” He said, -“I see how much pain this relationship, well, not exactly – I mean... the lies, and the pretence caused by our relationship, you are feeling. I see it in your eyes.

I know how much you worry about Molly, about me, about Janna...

I feel all the stress, all the pressure it is causing to you.

I’m so sorry about it, Really. I wish I could do something, but I just don’t know what I c...”

I interrupted him, I had to do it – I did not want him to feel bad and guilty for something that wasn’t his own fault, it was our decision.

Besides, it was also bothering him – maybe even more than it bothered me, I could tell from his expression. Janna, I have to admit, is more important to him – then Molly for me. Furthermore, lies and pretence is something that Danny cannot stand – I know it.
But he will never say it – because he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings.

-“Stop it,  Danny... it’s not your fault” I said.

-“Alright, Eric... We will stop this useless discussion, since it eventually will not lead to a solution. Let’s just leave all our problems behind and focus on our feelings.

We have each other, after all?

I promise you, Eric, that I will always be there for you – that you can tell me anything, and that I will never hurt you, boy.

We will be fighting for our love, no?

It is worth all the pain, I think.

Ehhh... and maybe, one day, we will be finally free to live our lives – and will need no longer to pretend, maybe...” He said, and sighed.

-“Yes, Danny... maybe” I said in response.

I had to admit that I really doubted it, but why not let the hope be? Why let it die? I said to myself.

Danny made me feel hope, he made me believe.

We smiled at each other for a long priceless moment, then, Danny kissed me – I kissed him back.

-“Now, get dressed” Danny ordered me, and added –“I’m not an angel. I don’t know for how long I will be able to resist temptation...” and winked.

Same story again – Eric, I mean, me – turned totally red and almost fainted.

-“Yes, sir” I answered finally, stood up, grabed my clothes and got dressed.

We agreed we will be regulary calling, texting, and e-mailing each other. Whenever we both will have a free time – we will be meeting each other at one of Stockholm’s hotels.

Lies and game of pretence, obviously, were necessary here. Avoiding stress and pain – seemed to be impossible. But our love was worth it, and we will be fighting for it.

When I got back home, Molly was sitting on the sofa, sorrounnded by dozen shopping bags, that were probably filled with clothes, jewelery, chocolate – and of course: Teddy Bears! Oh, lord, how we will survive without Teddy bears? I thought to myself and grinned.

As soon as she had seen me, she stood up, went toward me – and gave me a kiss, I , of course, kissed her back.

Danny does it better I admited to myself.

-“Got over the hangover?” She asked me, and giggled.

-“Yes, ma’am!” I replied, and cracked a smile. –“How was your shopping trip?” I asked, tough from the number of the shopping bags – I could tell it was very succsessful.

-“Great” She responded, and immediately started showing me what she had bought.

I tried to look interested and excited, feeling guilty for the masquerade, and the fact that  I cheated on her with... her friend, Danny.

Danny, who was probably acting things over with Janna now.

Yes, I said to myself and sighed quietly, that’s the beginning of our new life.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.5 - "Beautiful Morning"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).





Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Five – “Beautiful Morning”

It was the best night in my life. When I woke up – I was so happy, I bet I was the happiest person in this planet. Everything suddenly seemed to be so simple, so easy, and so beautiful to me. Mainly, it was bacause of the gorgerous blond man with the blue eyes who was lying by my side.

Yeah, that’ what I call “A beautiful morning” – Best I have ever had, it’s official I thought and smiled.

Danny was already awake, lying on his back, still naked, and smiling.
I could not help myself – but gaze toward his glorious body with admiring eyes, and blush.

He, of course, caught my look and winked at me, which, for some reason reminded me of last night – or to be more correct, of what happened last night.

It reminded me the way we both moved against each other. The way it felt, when Danny went deep inside me... The way his lips touched mine – with the softest pressure, and the way those red lips of his tastes...

It all was so amazing, so dreamy – I can’t even find the right words to describe it.

Thanks God we were smart enough to leave the lights on last night I thought to myself and sighed.

Danny laughed quietly, and asked:

-“So, how was last night?” The way he asked that question, made me feel that we are discussion a restaurant or a movie, and not our first gay sex.

Oh God, how does he do that? Oh well, that’s so Danny I added in my mind.

Naturally, I turned all red, as always, bit my lip, and answered:

-“Great, Danny! You rock!!!”

This time Danny laughed out loud, very loud – which made the bed shatter a bit.

-“Thanks Boy” He said, and winked again.

Damn, but how does he do that?! How can he be so.... hot in a very irresistble way?! I swear he has a mission called “How to make Eric fain” Oh, and he is very close to acompalishing it... I asked myself, and after a short pause – I answered myself. He is just too good in everything he ever does, me included, hahaha

I blushed, and thought, I’m leading mental conversations with myself, haha “And suddently, a schizofrenia....”   then I laughed.

-“By the way...” Danny started saying, interrupting my thoughts, -“You’re amazing aswell... I love you, boy.”

Boy... hell yeah, I will be forever boy, no – I will be a manboy, forever Danny’s manboy... Not that I mind...  I thought.

-“I love you too, Danny” I admited.

In response, Danny went toward me – and kissed me.

There was so much love, so much passion in that single kiss. So perfect.

-“I like the way you say my name” – Danny told me after we stopped kissing each other.

-“I like the way you call me ‘boy’ “ – I replied.

We both laughed.

Suddenly, Danny’s expression changed. He gave me that wild look from yesterday, it was full of desire, and his eyes were filled with fire.

Luckily, I was lying on his bed, because if I stood up on the floor or sat on a chair – I would probably end up fainting and breaking my head... or the chair.

Danny looked so sexy,  he was definitely on fire, and to be honest – it turned me on.

-“Eric” He wispered softly, “Eric, are you into morning sex? He asked me.

Was he really asked it? I had a feeling it was rhetorical question, however, like a total geek, I actually answered him.

-“Yes, as long as it is with you” I said.

Before I was even able to blink, like an hurricane – Danny was already on me, and his lips were kissing mine. It all was amazingly good, obviously.

I could feel him moving deep within me – like a tornado. It was, without a single doubt, the best feeling in my life, it was even more powerful than last night.

Practice makes perfect the one who said it, was so damn right.

Nothing is perfect the one who said that, was so damn wrong.

It did not hurt at all – pure pleasure, pure passion.

-“Danny... Danny... I love you” I whispered.

He kissed my neck, and softly whispered in my ear:

-“Eric, I love you too”.

His warm and beautiful body – on me, moving deeply – within me.

His soft red lips, passionately kissing my neck, my face...

I could feel the warmth from his skin on my body...

I could sense hiw warm breathe on my skin...

I could feel him – doing me.

Nothing in this world would ever top this moment.

This moment was priceless, nothing else mattered to us then.

Not our girlfriends, neither our managment, nor the time, that was moving way to fast.

I wished we could be timeless – I wished this moment would last forever.

I bet that even if the world would come to an end, we would not notice it.

I feel the love from your heart is hitting me,

I wanna stay to be yours for eternity,

Don’t let the feelings go away so rapidly,

The clocks would never surround us...

We could be timeles...

Again, unfortunately – everything comes to an end.

But an end is always the beginning of something new, right?

-“I love you, Eric” Danny said and kissed my forehead as he stopped.

-“I love you too, Danny” I replied.

We both lied on our backs, by each other’s sides, happy and naked.

As always – words weren’t needed.

It’s like that with Danny.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.4 - "All On You"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).





Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Four – “All On You”

We were sitting quietly on Danny’s sofa, starring deeply in each other’s eyes.
Suddenly, Danny changed his position from sitting – to half lying, cracked a smile into my direction and bite his lip.

I was literally speechless, I really didn’t know what to say, Man, how can he be so hot? I asked myself and dirty thoughts started to run in my mind.

-“Eric” Danny adressed me, -“Tell me something boy, something about you, that I don’t know yet...” He requested, and laughed - still biting his lip. Damn, what private joke I keep missing?  I thought and responded to him.

-“Hmmmm.... I....” I was beginning to say – and stopped, because my mind was thinking about something else. Then I looked straight into Danny’s eyes, and I got lost in them, once again. 
–“I.... well, hmm...” I tried once again to say something, but couldn’t.

I’ll tell him something he doesn’t know! Right now, I want him so much! I want to touch, to feel his body... that’s what he doesn’t know yet! Ithought, and started to imagine us – me and Danny, making love. Now it was my turn to bite my lip and laugh, and I’ve done so.

-“Eric, what are you thinking about?” Danny questioned me, due to that I was probably looking like a total fool, who has lost the power of speech.

-“Ah, me?” I said, dizzy, still looking like a total fool.

-“Yes, you” Danny confirmed, and laughed, -“Do you see any other Eric here?”.

-“Nope... haha” I said, smiling.

-“So, what are you thinking about? That makes you blush so much?”

Wait. I was blushing? Oh God, couldn’t it get even more embaracing? I thought, but well, I had to answer.... “No secrets from you, boy” I told Danny earlier.

-“Danny, I....”

-“Eric, don’t be afraid to tell me... but if you don’t want to, that’s alright, boy. I can wait, since I’m guessing you will tell me it one day, eventually, right?”

-“Yeah, Danny... but I want this to happen so much, right here, right now.”

-“What the word ‘this’ stands for?” Danny asked, raised an eyebrow, and gazed at me  - with a corious look.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t knew how to tell him this. Danny, the words this stands for the word sex, you know. Oh, and I spent the past half hour thinking about you and me making love, you know. There’s no way in hell I will say it.

-“Oh!” Danny said suddenly, and then repeated “Oh!”

I starred at him with questioning eyes, in reply – he smiled at me, biting his lip.

Few minutes passed, I was still speechless, starring at him with questioning eyes. Then, suddenly Danny started to laugh.

-“Danny?” I finally said, -“What’s so funny?”

-“Nothing, boy” He answered, laughing. –“I have just realised what the word ‘this’ stands for, that’s it.” He added.

-“What the word ‘this’ stands for?” I said. Technically, it was supposed to be a question – but the intonation sounded like a like an echo of what he said before.

He didn’t aswered me.
Suddenly, he was only few inches away from me. I could feel his warm breath on my face, I could feel the heat from his body on my skin, I could hear his heartbeat. In response, my heartbeat went totally wild, I started to breath so loudly – I lost control over myself, over my body.

Danny slowly took his shirt off, revealing his perfect chest. My heartbeat went even more insane.
Danny started kissing me, wait, no – he crashed my lips. Few second later he was leaning on my chest, shirtless, still kissing my lips. God, he was so... so fine, so warm, his muscles were perfect.

I couldn’t normally breathe, my breathing sounded more like moaning now.

Danny started kissing my neck, while his hands were giving my back some nice massage.

Danny stopped, pulled my shirt off, and strarted to touch my chest,  my waist, my nipples, while looking into my eyes. I could feel the adrenaline rush running throught my skin, I could feel the hidden desire in me, that was burning – I wanted him more than I wanted anything else, I needed him more than I needed air – right here, right now. Nothing matters.

Now it was my turn, I knocked him to the sofa, leaned against his body – and started kissing his lips, his shoulders, his arms, his face, his body.... ahhh, it was so perfect.

I stopped for a second, to take my and his pants off, Danny saw my intention and decided to do it for me – I didn’t protest, obviously.

Now we were both in out underwear, shirtless, lying on each other and making out.

It was the best feeling of my life, it was so hot, nothing could be compared to it, Molly wasn’t even close.

I would have loved to stay like this forever, but my body, and Danny’s too, had other desires.

Danny  pulled us to the floor, he was ‘on top’, not that I minded it.
He took my underpants off, I was completly naked – and for the first time in my life it didn’t bother me, ususally, unlike Danny, I’m a shy boy.

Danny kissed my forehead, and slowly with his lips – went down on my lips, my neck, my chest, my waist and on me, he went down... on me.

-“Ahhh” I said, sounding like an echo – because I lost count on the times I repeated this.
–“Just like that, boy, you’re doing it so fucking well!” I said.

-“Ohhh, Don’t stop”  I added, moaning.

My breathing was so loud, I was about to expload, it sounded more like screaming. But I wasn’t screaming out of pain, I was screaming out of pleasure. I have never felt this way before.

God, his girlfriend is the luckiest person on earth – as much as I am jealous of her, and I must also say that I totally don’t like her.

He stopped, and looked into my eyes with a big smile.

-“Eric, you taste amazingly good” He told me, grinning, I would have said that I blushed – but I was already all red.

-“Danny, I love you” I had nothing to say but those three simple words.

-“I love you too, boy” He told me, and kissed my lips.

-“It was the best evening in my life, Danny, thanks....” I admited.

-“Mine too, Eric, you’re welcome, tough it’s not over, not yet haha” He responded, adding: -“What do you think about going into more.... comfortable place? Like my bed?”

-“Great idea!” I told him.

We stood up, and headed to Danny’s bed. On the way, Danny took off his underpants aswell. Now we were both naked.

His body was so amazingly perfect, I swear that I haven’t seen anything better.

Now I really hated his girlfriend, the expression “don’t like” didn’t fit anymore.

He was lying on the bed, naked, smiling at me. That was an open invitation.

I decided to don’t waste time looking like an idiot that doesn’t know what to do, after all, it wasn’t my first sex.

Tough it was way better, and way more different.

Hahaha, if was my first gay sex! I thought, and started laughing.

-“You’re beautiful” I told him.

-“So are you, Eric” He said, and laughed a bit. Here we again, I thought, another private joke I missed! I decided to stop being a total geek, so I closed my eyes, and went down on him.

It was good, in a very strange way – and Danny enjoyed it.

He said my name, murmured “I Love You”, “Don’t Stop” and “Ohh”.

Then he stopped me, pulled me to the bed, got on top, and started to do... me.

It was the best feeling ever in my life – I could not find the words to descrive it, they just don’t exist, it was the best evening in my life, I didn’t want it to end.

But it had to, as always, everything has a beginning – and everything comes to an end.

When we were done, we were lying by each other’s sides, happily smiling – not speaking. Again, words were needless.

 

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.3 - "Just a Dream"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).





Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).



Chapter Three - "Just a Dream"





I was driving my car straight to Danny’s appartment, trying hard to concentrate on the road.



Concentrate, Eric, concentrate! I ordered myself, but I failed – everytime I actually tried.

Instead of concentrating on the road, what normal, sane people do – I was concentrating on Danny’s pretty face.



Great, now I will probably crash a three in the most absurd possible way known to humanity, everybody will laugh... Oh, and if I will survive, what probably won’t happen – I will arrested and sent to jail, haha, k-k-killed by a cop - I said quietly, to myself and started laughing.

It has been a while since I was in such a good mood, and in all my 21 years of life, I have never felt this way – I was never in love with someone like that... except of Danny.

Why doesn he has to be the exception of everything?I asked myself, and laughed again, feeling like a total fool. Great, now I am speaking to myself!





Due to that me and Danny agreed to keep our real feelings and relationship status as a secret, we lied to Molly and Janna (our girlfriends) about today.

They honestly believe we’ll be having a boy-evening, with lots of alcohol and idiotic stuff...



Molly went to shopping with her friends, and Janna went to visit her brother.

Which means that me and Danny will be alone tonight. That thought made me smile, tough...

Not that I know what will happen tonight, but getting drunk and acting like an idiot were never on our list. I guarantee that.



When I finally arrived near Danny’s house, I stopped the car at the parking station, got out, and went to Danny’s house.

Exactly when I was about to knock on the door, I realised it is already openned, so I just got in.



He was there, sitting on his white sofa, wearing a black top-tank and a pair or jeans, waiting for me. He smiled at me, as I entered the room.

Before I could say something, he asked me:

-“So, how was your night, boy?” He asked me, grinning – what made me wonder what private joke did I miss.

-“Hey Danny” I greated him, with enthusiastic tone as I sat nearby him and smiled, -“My night was fine, a bit sleepless, but at least I had nice dreams”.

He laughed even more louder this time, he looked so good, so cute while laughing – I was helpless, I had no choice, so I laughed with him.

-“So Danny, what the hell were you doing awake at... 4 in the morning? If that’s not a secret, of course” I asked him, when we stopped laughing.



-“Of course no! No secrets from you, boy” Danny replied, and winked. I must admit that it made me lose my breath and faint on his sofa... no... his chest.

Watching my geek reaction, seemed to be very entertaining to Danny, so he giggled and said: -“Back to your question....” My question, sigh. Wait, what have I asked him? I’m really losing my mind. It’s official. Danny continued:

-“I was thinking about last night, about you... And daydreaming, about us while starring at the moon and the stars... How romantic! Haha” he admited, and smiled happily at me.

-“Ah, well, I did see you in my dreams, too. Only I was sleeping, you know – mixing the pleasant part, dreaming with the necessary part, sleeping.”

-“Smart!” Danny said, and questioned me: “What did you dream? If that’s not a secret, of course” and looked at me.

-“No secrets from you, boy” I said, trying to copy his tone – but failing. Then I told him about my dream:

-“Danny, I was dreaming of me and you, together someday... In a world when nobody knows us, no press, no menagment, no girlfriends... It was just me, you and the nature. We were alone, we were happy, we were in love..., you know” The last part made me blush, so much that I was even more red than a tomato.

-“Embarassing?” I asked him, red faced.

-“No, absolutely no” He said, and added: “I liked the last part the most...” I turned even more red.



Then, without a single warning – His lips touched mine, and he kissed me.

This kiss was a lot different that our previous one, last night. It was wild, it was a lot more passionate, we were both on fire – burning.

Again, I caught myself wishing it will never end – but of course, it had too. Everything has a beginning, and everything comes to an end, unfortunately.



The kiss was followed by a silence, that kind of silence when no words are needed – pure harmony.

IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.2 - "4 In The Morning"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).



Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you!This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).





Chapter Two: “4 In The Morning”



The next morning, when I woke up, after having another “Danny Night” I must say – I noticed that I have just recieved an SMS, and I didn’t even had to look at the sender’s name to know the sender’s identity, it was, of course – Danny.

I clicked “view” and began to read:



“Eric! Look, I have a day off today, and I’ve got a feeling so are you... so, well, I wanted to ask – Would you like to come over me this evening? To my place, I mean.... We can have a whole lotta fun! Love, D. “



Is that even a question? I thought, as I started typing the following: “Of course, I’ll be there at 6 pm, Ok? Love, E. “ there’s a big, big love in the air... fuck yeah.

I thought, and as soon as I was done – I pressed “send”.



The reply came a minute later, “Ok boy! See you soon! Love, D.” it was written then. My only reaction to this was... a huge smile.



Ain’t it funny how one single SMS with a plain text, written in plain Swedish, have just made my day?

Then, without a reason – I started laughing. Guess my laughter was loud, too loud and it awoken Molly.



Oh Molly! I thought, and felt guilt. I have totally forgotten about her existance, while she is lying next to me! Untill I met Danny, she was everything to me, and now I d... but Molly interrupted my thoughts, questioning:

-“Eric, What the hell is wrong with you?! It’s 4 in the morning! Why aren’t you sleeping?”

Damn, I thought, Was it 4 in the morning? What the hell was Danny doing awake at such time? I wondered.

-“Eric....?” Molly re-asked me, due to my ignorrance.

-“What Molly?” – I asked her, since her question ran out of my mind, and I must say that I felt like a total Idiot, thanks to Danny! Haha.

-“May you please explain to me, if that’s not a secret,of course... The reason you are awake, whom were you texting, and what was so funny? Thanks!” she said, clearly annoyed.

-“Woah, that’s a huge question, XL – Extra Large!” I replied, and started laughing.

-“Just answer!” she said, in an angry tone.

Annoying Molly at 4 in the morning was pointless, so I have decided to finally answer her.



-“Alright!Alright! I’m awake because... well, I don’t really know why, I just woke up! That’s it. I was chatting via SMS with a guy named Danny Saucedo, you know... He invited me for a ‘boy evening’ – and I accepted the invitation. Danny is funny – that’s why I laughed.”

I answered, and added after a short pause: -“Guess it was too loud, sorry for interrupting you sleeping” I apologized.

My explantation made Molly to calm down, she smiled and started to laugh.

-“Have fun! Haha, thought it’s a long way to go untill the evening. And now, lease, let me sleep, love.” She said, in a warm tone.

Of course we will be having fun, if she only knew, hahaha I thought, and said:

-“Good night Molly! Sleep well, princess.”

She giggles and closed her eyes.



I decided to follow her example, and try to sleep a bit, so I closed my eyes.

There, in my dream, Danny was waiting for me of course – He was smiling his beautiful smile, and looking at me with his beautiful blue eyes.

If only you, Danny... could see that I’m burning – on for you I said to him, in my dream, and fell asleep.

IF ONLY YOU : Chapter No.1 - "Masquerade"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).

Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you!This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).



Prologe - FlashBack - "Popular"




Well, basically I wrote this just to make sure we all are in the same page - So my story will be understood better, if you know what I mean.

Eric and Danny met during the Melodifestivalen, and became very close friends, tough they both secretly had feeling one toward another.



They were sorry for the fact they were both obligated to compete against each other, and they feared that their “rivality” will demage their friendship.

However, they also feared to expose their hidden feeling toward each other, thinking it will ruin their friendship and lead to a scandal.



One day, Danny had decided to let Eric find out about his feelings, without telling him – which leads to the famous kiss & the nipple thing, also known as “The DERIC moments”.

Eric, however, thinks that Danny has done this just for fun, as a joke, or P.R service – tough it makes Danny’s and Eric’s friendship, and feelings even more stronger.



When it is announced that Eric is the winner of the Melodifestivalen and will represent Sweden

in the ESC, Eric gets excited – and in the same time worried, knowing how much the contest was important for Danny.

Danny, on the opposite, feels relieved – and congratulates Eric, after that, Eric gives him a hug.



And then, they are both heading to the Melodifestivalen’s after party, when our story begins.



CHAPTER NO.1 MASQUERADE





It was the Melodifestivalen after party. Everybody was partying, drinkin, dancing their hearts out...

I was there,too, smiling – at least trying to, pretending to look as a one who won Melodifestivalen, and will represent Sweden in ESC should look – Happy, satisfied.

But I failed this masquerade.

Come on, Eric, that’s a big thing, no? Exactly what you wanted! To be popular! To represent Sweden in the ESC, no? Wasn’t that what you wanted?

I was trying to convice myself, but I failed, again.

Yeah, it was what I wanted – what I needed. But I don’t want it anymore.





He was there, Danny....

In the centre of the dancefloor,in the centre of the spolight, rocking the dancefloor, dancing like the king of the disco - of course.

Danny was surprisingly happy, and showed no signs of dissapointment – on the opposite, he looked relieved.

Joking around, partying like an animal, drinking, and dancing – Oh well, that’s so Danny.

The thought of Danny made me smile, so I smlied - straight into his direction. He caught my look and smiled back to me.



I couldn’t help myself, and I started laughing.

My God! His smile is so cute! I said to myself. Danny saw me laughing and winked, which almost made me drop on the floor, I must say.



Well, our famous-Melodifestivalen-kiss was a joke for him, P.R. service maybe , just for fun. But for me it was different.

I... well, I’m not a gay – I swear I’m not! I’m not into boys, I just..., well, I just love Danny. Truly, I do.

And he sees me only as joke! Of course, he is happy, he has got a girlfriend, Janna, and he loves her.



Well, I also have a girlfriend – and I love her, too, but not as I love Danny, tough.

I have never felt this way before. For anyone, not even for Molly...



It’s impossible for us to be together, I whispered to myself.

Of course it is impossible, if I will ever tell Danny about my feelings – he will never speak to me again, the press will make a drama out of it, and Molly will be heart broken.

Haha, “stop don’t say that it’s impossible, cause I know it’s possible” - what a joke, I whispered to myself.



Those thoughts made me so depressive, and when I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran away straight to the toilet, sat on the floor, and started crying. How pathetic.





“Eric? Oh God, Eric!” – Someone said, with a worried tone. The most pathetic part of it is that I will recognize this voice no matter when, and no matter what - as if this was the only voice I have heard since I was born – It was Danny.

“Eric, you alright?” – He asked me, in a soft voice, as he sat down on the floor next to me, -“What happened to you, boy?” he added.



-“Nothing, Danny, I... don’t know what to say!” I said. He was going to reply something, but I interrupted him, saying: -“Well, Danny, I do know what to say. But trust me, you don’t want to hear it!!!” , I guess I sounded too harsh, to rough, and too rude. Danny froze, shocked. Great, now I offended him.

It’s now or never, what happen – will happen, I’m just going to say it, out loud! , I thought to myself, and said:



-“Look Danny, remember our famous Melodifestivalen kiss?”

- “Yes, Eric, of course...” , he answered, and grinned. –“How could I forget? Haha” , he added, still grinning.

-“Well, for you it might be a nice joke, but for me... it’s a whole different story!



That night, after we kissed, I dreamed about you, the other day I daydreamed about you. When I was kissing my girlfriend – I imagined I was kissing you!

I started to fantasize about you 24/7. Don’t you understand?! I love you!!! Danny! I love you! Don’t you see?!” – I said.

Silence. He was starring at me in shock, with his gorgerous blue eyes, not knowing what to say... of course, now I lost him. Oh well,

-“I shouldn’t have said this, of course, now y....” , I was beginning to say, but he interrupted me.



-“Eric, it... it wasn’t a joke for me aswell. I..., well, I feel exactly the same way about you. I’m not a gay Eric, I just love you. I’ve fallen for you since the first day I saw you – Boy, you’re beautiful!” he laughed. And I was there, sitting on the floor, shocked, not knowing what to say, and I bet that if someone asked for my name now, I would not remember.

Meanwhile, he smiled and continued:



-“I was so sorry that I have decided to take a part in the Melodifestivalen, I didn’t wanted to compete against you, and I hated the thought about winning. But you won, you deserved it, and I’m so happy now, for you...

Ah, I love Eric, more than you ever now!”

-“You... love me? Too?” I questioned him, in disbelief.

-“Yes, what can I do to make you believe me? Oh, and by the way, I wasn’t joking when I said that you tasted “Yummy” and had a very “Rehydrated lips”, hahaha” , he was laughing.



Then, he starred straight into my eyes, with his gorgerous blue eyes. My heartbeat went totally insane. I forgot everything, my name, the location, the time, the occasion, everything. Oh, I wish that moment would last forever!





-“Eric, I love you” he said, and quickly, before I could even react, he reached toward me, and kissed my lips. Slowly, passionately....

Man, he is the best kisser ever, I swear! , I thought to myself.



That minute was the best minute in my whole life. That kiss was the best kiss I have ever had. I wished he would never stop, but he had too.

Slowly, he stopped kissing me, and then, after a short pause, smiled. I couldn’t resist him, so I just smiled back at him.





-“So... what are you going to do now, with us, I mean?” – I asked, I didn’t wanted to ask that question or/and hear the answer, but it was necessary.

-“Errr, I don’t know. We can’t let this story out.

I mean, we both have girlfriends – and a menagment that will kill us if someone finds out...” – He laughed, then continued: -“But what we can do is....You know, secret dating – on with the wind, and see what happens, that’s the best, don’t you think?”

-“Yeah, that’s the best” – I answered. Of course it is, he was so damn right.

-“But for now...” He said, -“Let’s go to a more normal place, you know, the dancefloor, for example, and party! I mean, rock the night out boy! Just like we can” , he said and started laughing, I joined him.

-“Let’s!” I said.

We stood up, and headed straight to the dancefloor – to rock the night, and dance untill we drop.

That was really the best night of my life.