FALLING RAIN: Chapter Eight - "Killing Me"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Eight – Killing Me

-“What?” Danny asked me again.

-“It will not work this way. I’m sorry.” I repeated, and closed my eyes.

-“Why?” He asked, with that tone... fading away, that has alarmed me.

-“If there’s something that binds you, and does not allow you to be yourself, completely... with me. We simply can’t be, and you know it. How can love surrender in the atmosphere of self-denial?” I responded.

Danny did not answer. He simply closed his eyes. We were sitting infornt each other silently. I felt horrible for telling those cruel words that stabbed his alreeady bleeding heart. I felt horrible.

How could you do this?

He looked so tired, so hurt, so weak. Never, not even after that remarkable day of the car accident – he never looked that bad.

-“Te amo...*” He said suddenly, and sighed. It seemed to be that it was the last thing he would say, from his tone, which alarmed me immdiately.

I would not let this happen. Costs what it costs me.

-“You, don’t dare! I said no! Don’t even think of whatever you are thinking now. Please, don’t deny... I know your exact thoughts. You may remain silent, but I still can here you.”

-“Can you stop me?”

-“Yes. I can. I will never let you go.”

-“Why all of a sudden you-“

-“Because I love you. Period. Now, let’s get out of here. Let’s go to a new place, were we can be completely alone, when nobody knows us – let’s... But, before we do, you have a phone-calling session to Janna, Molly, London, Sweet, Young, Erik and Matte. Enjoy. Somebody, who is not me, has to explain few things to them.”

-“Why are you so cruel?” He said, laughed, and hugged me. –“I love you my cruel Manboy...” He said, and reached for my lips. We kissed.

In the first time since HellKnowsHowMuchTime – We kissed. It felt so good.

I realised how I missed those pink soft lips, these bright blue eyes.

This man, with that dirty smile across his face.

I missed him.

But now, he’s back.

And this time, I’ll make sure it is forever.

-“Nunca te dejaré ir, nunca, mi amor...**”  He whispered softly to my ear.

-“What’s up with the spanish thing today?” I asked, hugging him.

-“I’m tired, and when I am tired – I speak in my native language. Lo siento***. Guess who missed language classes during school!”. He said, and laughed.

-“I didn’t! I studied German!” I insisted.

-“And all you can say is...” He begun to say, and raised an eyebrow.

-“Ich heisse Eric.” I admit.

-“Not bad.” He said, in a sarcastig tone.

-“I know right? By the way, dear, the phone is waiting for you.” I reminded him.

-“God damn it!” He said, and sighed, as if he was about to lift heavy weight.

-“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.” I said, being mean.

-“Damn it!” He responded, thinking of the revange.

-“The phone...” I begun to say.

-“Alright, alright.” He said and pick up the phone, and started calling.

-“Hej London. Look I-“ He greated Peter on the phone, which surprised me a bit. Why wouldn’t he call Janna? I have to admit it worried me a bit.

-“It’s a long story, and don’t worry man, I’m alright. Can you please do me a huge favour? I’m heading out of town-“ He begun to explain, but probably Mr. London had interrupted him.

-“No! No! Relax, I mean we are heading out of town. I mean, I am with Eric here.” Danny calmed him, I could imagine what Peter thought by the words “I’m heading out of town.” since it was the exact words Dave had said to all his family and friends in Stockholm when he went to Uppsala, and he did not comeback...

-“No, not Young. Eric Saade.” Danny answered Peter.

-“I told you it’s a long story...” He begun to explain, nervously.

-“Yes, we are... Now, can you do me a huge favour? Dial Janna, Molly, Erik and Matte and you know, the rest of the peeps and tell them I’m alright. Don’t worry, everybody knows, and if not... Tell them the whole story. I am sick of hiding.” WHAT?!  This was the phrase I absolutely did not except from Danny. My jaw dropped in shcok, and I forgot how to close it. I sat, next to Danny, gazing at him with shock. WHAT?!

-“I’ve changed.” Danny has replied, to me and Peter at the same time. Wow, this was quick.

-“Yes, absolutely. No more hiding, I am who I am – and who ever has problems, is invited to jump off the hill...” He stated, and smiled his usual, super-confident, and a bit dirty smile I admired so much.

-“Haha, yes, I am a real rockstar now.” He replied to Peter’s surprise, “is invited to jump off the hill...” was not Danny’s expression but rather Dave’s.

-“Let’s... Let’s wait with this discussion for after I get back. Please.” What discussion? I wondered.

-“Thanks Mr. London, and no – I don’t even know where Eric is taking me, how can I know where we are coming back? One thing for sure, it will not be a while.” He told Peter. To be honest I did not know where I was taking him aswell.

-“Sure, thank you again, goodbye.” He thanked Peter.

-“Yeah, see you. Goodbye.” Danny ended the call.

-“What discussion?” I asked him. –“If... it’s not a secret or something...” I added.

-“Haha, no, I’ve got no secrets from you, boy. The discussion about my musical future...” Danny said and sighed. –“Can we leave it aswell...? I want it to be just you and me, let’s leave the rest for... later.” He added, asking me.

-“Of course!” I agreed.

-“So, where are we going? Peter thinks we are sneaking off to Vegas.” Danny said as we both laughed.

-“That’s an idea. To be honest with you, I haven’t thought about an exact location... Where would you want to go?” I questioned him.

-“A place when nobody knows us, where we will be completely alone.” He answered.

-“Same here. Any ideas?” I responded.

-“I always wanted to visit Bolivia, my homeland.” Danny said, after thinking a bit.

-“Great!” I said, and reached for the phone.

-“We are going there? Seriously?” He asked, a bit surprised, and ridiculously happy.
If visit to Bolivia makes him so happy, I will make sure personally we go there every month I thought to myself.

-“Yes. I will order the tickets and you, do me a favour, start packing please. Otherwise we will fly with no clothes and will walk naked at the streets as a result.” I said, and laughed at my own imagination.

-“Hmmmm... Good idea.” Oh, I should have known he would answer something like this. I was speaking with Mr. Danny Saucedo the perverted.

-“You want to be raped so much? There’s no need to walk naked for this, I can do this now.” I said, surprised at my own words that sounded more as if they were his own words.

-“Do it.” Danny demanded and got closer to me, and my heartbeat went totally wild.

-“Pack your stuff please, first.” I said, mainly because I needed time to prepare myself for this.

-“Oh, okay...” He said.

From Spanish:

*I love you.

**I’ll never let you go, never, my love.

***I’m sorry

FALLING RAIN: Chapter Seven - "Over The Rainbow"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Seven – Over The Rainbow

I wish there was a way to stop all my tears.

I wish there was a way to wash all my fears.

I wish there was simply another place to live... for me.

I wish the dreams I dreamt would not be wasted.

I wish the voice hope within me would be raised.

I wish simply to follow my own path of life.

I wish my little prayer would be heard at the time.

I’ve done no faults, commited no crime.

Why am I supposed to be the one left behind?

After some time the darknest that seemed to be eternal to me have begun to fade away, slowly, step by step.

My vision was far away from being clear, all I could see was in blur – as a result I could not even tell what it was.

My head was spinning around like a record, and aching – as if somebody was hitting me with a baseball bat.

-“Oh...” I sighed. It was sigh of relief, for being a live. It was a sigh of pain, for being hurt. It was sigh of surprise, for not knowing what is going on.

My vision was still blury, but as time passed some memories ran across my mind.

I clearly remembered the fact I was in the middle of a cold, rainy street – and now, here I am, in a warm, dry sofa.

The blury image confused and annoyed me, so I simply closed my eyes.

Letting myself daydream a bit, waiting for the sanity to find him.

The only thing I could take for granted was me being alive.

What? Why? How? When? I left all the questions for... later.

-“Danny, are you alright?” I heard someone saying, asking me, and interrupting my thoughts. In ages and ages hence, no matter in what condition I am – I would recognize this voice.

-“Eric?” I asked, hesistantly – feeling my heartbeat rising through my skin.

-“Yes, are you alright?” He replied, re-asking his question.

-“Well... more or less.” I said, trying to avoid the question – since I was a bit worried by Eric’s worried tone. I did not want him to suffer because of me.

-“Don’t lie.” Eric said, in a sharp tone. I was about to argue, but his face expression and voice tone was enough for me to understand he knew it all.

I was neither brave, nor strong enough to speak –  I remained silent.

His beautiful face; those wonderful dark brown eyes – deep like an ocean, full of love and care, those pink lips that tasted like paradise. Everything, everything in him, like a wave – destroyed the shied a built for myself.

-“Why, Danny, tell me, why?” He asked me, in a broken voice.

-“There was no other way for me. You know it yourself.” I answered, trying to sound cooler than ice, yet feeling the sorrow burning under my skin.

-“It can’t be true, Danny. There is always a way. There must be another way.” He said, protesting.

-“Please, do me a favour and stop sounding like a fairytale! We are both grown up adults, we all not that life is not like a movie with an happy end!” I replied, angrily.

-“Yes, life is not like a movie with an happy end, but one always has a choice! You choosed the wrong road-“ He continued arguing.

Why was he trying to proove me there is still a hope where infact there wasn’t?

-“I chosed the right direction for me. Now, I’m following it. What if I told you I want it that way? What if I told you I want to be lost?” I protested, furiously.

-“One says they are lost, when one wants to be found. Really, Danny, who do you think you are fooling now?” He said, and I, I wanted to answer.

But there was nothing I could add, knowing he was right.

Really, who do I think I am fooling now?

I was not angry with Eric for trying to change my mind, and telling me what to do, I realised. I was angry with Eric for the same reason, the same reason that almost lead me to the end of the road.

Again, I caught myself simply scared admiting my own feeling, my own emotions, scared of believing – in whatever it is.

I thought I lost my faith in everything, infact – It was nothing more than what I made myself believe in. I was wrong, mistaken.

I wanted to lose myself, that’s true, only my real intention was to be found.

-“Myself, probably.” I said, and looked down.

-“Most likely. This discussion will get us nowhere. Why cannot we simply talk things over?” Eric asked me, softly.

-“Why indeed?” I replied, and smiled at him sadly.

-“What happened Danny?” Eric re-asked me.

-“Come on tell me the truth... Set your body free...” Eric adressed me, almost begging.

-“And the truth will set me free?” I responded, trying to sound sarcastic.

-“Yes, that’s correct!” Eric asnwered, happy of the change in me.

-“Haha, let’s see!” I answered him, and sighed.

-“Oh, now you sound familiar!” He replied and we both laughed.

It has been a long time since he came around.

It has been a long time, and this time, I am not leaving without him.

-“Do you know what is like when time is running out? Do you know what it’s like when you are in a race – against the time, against the world, against them all.

I gave my best, I swear I did... only it was not enough. It was never enough. Tell me a reason to hold on my tears? Tell me what could silence all my fears?

Tell me, is there a truth, or hope for me? Tell me, is there another world for me to live?” I said, and stopped, unable to continue talking.

-“Darling, there’s always a reason, there’s always a truth, and there’s always a hope. I know, your life seemed to be a like a falling rain, but dear, remember, after a falling rain always comes a rainbow.
After a fog, the horizon can be seen clearer than ever. Beyond the horizon, there’s no pain, there’s pain. There’s a world, for us, to be unite. Beyong the horizon, there’s only love, no hate. There we can be, complete, and shine.

I swear I understand you, I know how you feel but-“ Eric replied, and I interrupted him.

-“Do you know what it’s like when your in the dark, all alone, and all the doors are closed? No light, no life, no anything!” I said, emotionally.

-“The doors might be closed, but you have the key to open them. Even in the darkest room, there’s always a little light – that brings a little life.” He said, and put an arm on my shoulder.

His touch was so soft, so warm. It spread a light, all over me.

He was my kye, that could open all the doors – and bring me back to life.

-“I...” As much as I wanted to open up my heart to him, something always stopped me. This long fear, this thought I should always pretend...

-“There’s something more. What is it Danny? Even in our best periods, in our best moments – there was something.” Eric guesed right. There was.

-“It’s not you, it’s me.” I confessed.

-“It seems to be that as if you have walls surrounding your heart, to protect you from something, from what? Why are you afraid of? Why wouldn’t you let anyone inside?” He asked me.

-“Has anybody been inside your soul?” I asked, avoiding the question.

-“You did. I always told you everything. Right from the start.” He answered.

-“Oh.” Was all I could say – feeling guilty.

-“Set yourself free, Danny.” Eric requested, almost begging.

-“I can’t, Eric. I tried, and I can’t...” I admited.

-“It will not work this way, I’m sorry.” He stated.

-“What?” I asked shocked, sensing the upcoming heartbreak.

FALLING RAIN: Chapter Six - "Falling Rain"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Six – Falling Rain

It was just an other ordinary evening, me and Molly were quietly eating our dinner. Unspoken words filled with tension could be tasted in the air since Janna’s visit. None of us dare to mention Danny’s name, but it was still hanging in between the lines.

-“How was your day, Eric?” Molly has asked me.

-“Great.. and yours?” I asnwered, trying to sound natural, but failing.

-“Same here...” Molly said, in what was supposed to be a happy tone – but it ended up being dead.

-“Oh...” Was all I could say in response.

This was our usual conversation, repeated dozens of times daily.

I wasn’t strong enough to handle a conversation about Danny – when the wounds he had trapped deep inside me were still fresh. Molly on the other hand, was afraid of hurting me – knowing already to what it can lead.

But, it wasn’t about me any more. Danny was getting worse as I spoke.

I promised, I swore to both Janna and Peter to do something if they fail, and they did. It was my time, my turn now.

And I knew, deep inside me, that I have no right to fail.

Deep breaths, followed by sighs. I have found all the courage hidden within me, and raised up my voice.

-“Molly, what can I do about Danny?” I asked her directly, catching her off guard. This was clearly that one question she did not except to hear from me.

She looked in my eyes for a long moment silently, and then spoke:

-“Look, Eric – I understand you perfectly, I know how much pain it will cause you but I really thing there’s only one way left, I swear I would not mention it if I thought there is another solution but....” She said, and stopped for a moment.

-“But...?” I pressed her to continue.

-“I think you must speak to Danny.” She added.
Now it was her turn to catch me unprepared. I have to admit that I excepted this answer, but it still caught me off guard.

-“How...?” I asked.

-“Call Janna, arrange a meeting...” Molly suggested.

-“Alright.” I said in agreement and reached for my phone.

I dialed Janna’s number and waited for an aswer, that did not keep me waiting for a long time. Janna has quickly picked up the phone.

-“Hi Janna, look, I want to talk to Danny, now, can you-“ I begun to say, but Janna interrupted me.

-“I don’t know where he is...” She said, in a very... hopeless, lifeless voice that made me worry.

-“Oh, fine... Well, when he comes back, tell him that I-“ I could not finish this sentence aswell, for the same reason.

-“He will not comeback.” She said, in the same tone as before.

I managed hard to keep myself standing on my feet, and not dropping the phone.

-“What?! What do you mean ‘He will not comeback’?” I demanded Janna.

-“He has left me, he has simply walked away. Neither I, neither Peter know where he is. It has been hours. At first, I hoped he may go to you but... then I realised the chances are minimal. I planned to call you, but you were faster.” She explained me the situation, leaving me speechless.

How could this bastard to this? Has he lost his mind? I thought. Fuck you, fuck you Danny Saucedo!

-“I will find him!” I said.

-“How?” She questioned.

-“I don’t know how, but I will, I will find away.” I said, adding in my mind  No matter what it might cause us. I will reach him.

We ended the call, I said no more in addition – besides a promise I made to Janna – calling her whatever happens.

As I walked out the room, I caught Molly’s look on me – He has heard every single word I said, and from her face expression I could tell she understood what had happened.

Therefore, I decided not to waste time on explantions. I leaved my apartment, took my car, and begun to drive it in Stockholm’s streets.

It was cold. It was dark. It was rainy. The falling rain was the tears of sky.

At some point, I have decided it will be better if I search for him in those streets where no cars pass, where no light is seen.

I got out of the car, and simply started walking around the streets.

Dangers did not bother me at all.

I will catch a grenade for you.

I will jump in front of a train for you.

You know, Danny, I’d do anything for you.

Two endless hours passed.

I did not slow down.
I did not turn around.

All of a sudden, I saw a man – lying in the middle of the street. My vision was not enough to see his face, but I knew, I knew I have found him.

I found him. He was lying motionless on the sidewalk. At first, I did not know what to say, I did not posses the power of speech any longer.

What the hell have you done to yourself, Danny Saucedo? I wondered for sometime. Afterwards, a story told a long, long time ago popped in my mind.

“Dave was filling out of control, you know. He had the feeling time was running out, so much he wanted to do... yet he couldn’t. Twenty-four hours were not enough, he needed like... forty-eight. He became really depressed, and later got involved with drugs. Time passed, things got worse, he... locked himself in that God damned room and hanged himself... Oh God...”

“Dave did not have that special person who could hold him here. Unlike you, and unlike Danny.”

Then, I understood everything.

-“Oh, Danny!” I said, feeling my already bleeding heart breaking to piceces. –“Why have you done this to yourself? Why?” I asked him, realised he cannot hear me.

For a moment – I was lost, I did not know what to do.

I did not dare to call both Janna and Peter.

Janna would not handle it, and the memory of Dave still leaves in Peter.

I know what this will do to them, especially if the end will not be... an happy ending. I did not want to be the one to tell it, yet knowing if I, myself, can even handle it.

Also, Danny’s presence was like a knife stabbed straight into my heart – that was already incomplete. His presence effected me like an hurricane, tough he was clearly unconsicious. Suffocated, I was suffocated.

Everything I tried to hide in my self-denial period has droped on me, knocking me to the ground – no escape, no ability to move.

I realised how much love I have for Danny.
I realised that I simply cannot be without him.

What should I do with him? I questioned myself., and after some doubts, I have decided to take him to my studio. The only private place I ever owned in my life.

I lifted Danny carefully, thanking my coach deep in my heart for training me, otherwise I would never be able to do it.

I pulled him in my car, to the sit next to me.

He was still unconsicious – A travveler in another foreign world, far away from ours. A dreamer, seing perphaps sweet dreams or beautiful nightmares.

I caught myself wondering if he will ever comeback to us, or leave us behind – and continue his journey in between the stars, in between the planets...

-“Darling, you just looked for an escape from all the sorrow, from all the pain. All you ever wanted it to fly, fly again. I know it, darling...” I said to him, shedding some tears.

-“Please, Danny, don’t leave me in all this pain. Don't leave me out in the rain.

Come back and bring back my smile. Come and take these tears away....”

Surrounded by a wave of pain, washing me away like a zunami, I somehow have finded to strenght to go on – to keep on driving.

It was the longest, the most exhausting journey in my whole life.

It was the road of life, the road of hope.

When I finally arrived to the studio, I lifed Danny and carefully placed him on my sofa. For a moment, I wondered if I should have called an ambulance – the logical thinking told me I should, why my heart – told me I did just right.

And I? I listen to my heart. How could one’s feeling be wrong?

Danny was still unconsicious. Yet, I have noticed a slight change in his face. His previous expression of pain, that tore my heart has vanished away – and was replaced with a smile. He was dreaming.

-“Oh!” I sighed, with relief, realising he will be alright.

I thanked by name every single God known to me.

I could stay awake, just to hear his breathing.

Watch his smile while he is sleeping,

While he is far away, dreaming...

I simply was not strong enough to resist the smile on his face. He was so beautiful, once again, I stood – amazed by his beauty.

He was an angel. Angel Danny.

I pressed my lips to his forehad and kissed him softly.

-“Te amo...” I whispered in his ear.

No logical explantion for my behaviour has ever existed. I knew it was wrong, I knew I will pay off for it – in the pain that will follow.

But I simply did not care.

My weak resistance, of his flower,
Has gotten me effected,
Because I was so blind to see.

Everyone told me, but did I listen?

FALLING RAIN: Chapter Five - "Lose Control"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Five – Lose Control

I don’t want to loose control by falling. I just can’t believe it.

Never thought that I would be the one, falling down.

It was a dark, and a cold afternoon. The rain was washing away Stockholm’s streets. I was standing in the middle of nowhere, not knowing where to go.

The rain kept falling on my shoulders, while thoughts were running freely across my mind. All I ever wanted right now was to disappear, to run away, to escape... from myself. Sigh. It was one of the those moments when I hated being me, when I hated being Danny Saucedo.

I’ve begun to walk aimlessly in circles across the streets. I was trying to find something, the light in the end of a dark tunnel, while not even knowing what was I exactly looking for. Or more correctly, I knew it, tough it was too late.

He was gone, far away.

I let the raindrops to wash away all what was left of me, I sighed, and turned my back to everything – everything I ever was once.

When I got back home, Janna was waiting for me in the salon. She was looking at me with questioning expression, and I didn’t even bother to look at her back.

There we were, in total silence, silence filled with tension – that could be turned into an explotion every second.

-“It can’t go on, Danny. Let’s talk it over.” Janna said suddenly, and sighed.

-“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m leaving. It’s over.” I informed here, with a cold, cruel voice – feeling horrible, guilty. I did not recognize myself.

-“Well, if that’s... what you want... Good luck, Danny. I wish you all the best.” She said, and ran out of the room with tears in her eyes.

And I? I simply walked away.

Walked away from my old life, to start another one.

I have found my own way. I have choosed my direction.

But, I don’t know where it goes – where it will lead me.

I felt horrible. I felt as if I was nothing.

At first, I wanted to go back – back to Janna, to Eric.
I wanted to go back to the past.

But then, then I realised I simply can’t.

If once, I had a reason of being, a reason to go on, to follow the path of life.

Now, I have lost it all. Not even a slight is left.

I have reached the end of the tunnel, but there was no light there. It was simply the end. I stopped having believing in myself, and now, there was no one to have believe for me.

I was walking aimlessly around the streets of Stockholm,
my beloved home town.
I attempted hard to forget myself, my live.
I attempted hard to be simply forgotten.

There was only one way known to me to do this. And the thought of it made me realise I was on the edge, one step away from the end.

Once, when I was a little fourteen years old boy, I travelled with my Leo, my brother, and Dave, my cousin to Bolivia – the country I come from.

At one of the days of our visit, Leo and Dave took me with them to the local bar. There, we got drunk. So drunk, that personally, I was lying at the street helpless, with a hangover that lasted for the next two days.

I swore to myself that I will never get drunk to that point of loose again.

Until today, I kept my promise. But tonight, I left it all behind and crossed all the lines I once swore to myself I would never do.

I went to one of Stockholm’s bars. It was not that kind of common bars in the town, neither it was counted as a safe place to be.

After few shots of Beer, followed by few shots of Whiskey and Vodka – I was already officially drunk. But, it did not gave me the feeling I was hoping it will.

Then, I realised, that there’s only one way to get the disired effect.

-“Do you know where to get LSD?” I asked the barman, catching him off-guard.

-“What do you want? We don’t sell this stuff here.” He said, hesistating.

-“Sure you do, come on, I’m not a cop or something. I need this trip now.” I ensured him.

-“Money, please. Now.” He ordered.

-“Here you go!” I said, and handed him the money.

-“Go to the toilette, I’ll see you there. You know, man, those kind of things aren’t done in the daylight.” He told me.

-“Daylight?” I said, grinning.

-“You know what I mean...” He said, rolling his eyes.

-“Yes, I do. See you there.” I said, stood up, and followed his instructions.

-“Alright...” He replied, before I left.

I waited at the toillette for few minutes until the Barman appeared. In my opinion, this was the worse toilette I’ve ever seen in my whole life.

-“Here you go...” He said, and gave me some pills of LSD warped in toilette paper.

-“Thank you.” I said, took them, and rushed away from that distusting place.

When I was outside, an inner war started deep inside me.

One side told me to stop this, to throw the Godamn pills away, and get back to the normal life I used to have.

Another side told me to it is impossible, and I should simply swallow the pills, because eventually there’s nothing left for me.

I remembered from what Dave used to tell me that drugs are horrible, that I should stay away from them – and not repeat his mistakes, mistakes that lead him straight to his own death.

But, at the time I was considering my options logical thinking was not something I had. So I simply swallowed one pill, and waited for the reaction.

The reaction did not keep me waiting for a while. Suddenly, all the sadness, the emptyness, the pain... all of them disappeared.

They were replaced by bright lights that blinded me, and beautiful colours that amazed me with their beauty.

I was truly happy. All my problems were far away behind me.

Hipnotized by the lights and colours, I swept throught empty Stockhom’s streets. This time, I wasn’t looking for an escape – because I’ve found it. I got what I wanted, was it what I need? At that point this question did not bother me. I wasn’t considering the effects or thinking about the consequences.

It was getting late, I happy walked round and round throught the streets surrounded by the beautiful twilight lights.

I was so happy that I was singing and dancing in the streets. Yes, I might have seemed to be crazy – but again, it did not bother me at all.

As much as I tried to deny it, deep inside me I knew that I just can’t ignore what people think of me. As much as I wanted to seem strong and confident – in fact I was neither of these. I was like a vapor in the wind.

Suddenly, all my complexes vanished away. Suddenly, I was free – like a bird.

I even felt that I could fly away... away from all the mess in my life.

I was free. My body, my souls – were free.

I kept on singing and dancing in the streets to the moonlight.

Few hours passed, and the effect of the first pill

I had another two pills with me, and I wanted very much to increase the effect the first one gave me. I did not knew by the time what it could do, I did not even think about the consequences. I simply swallowed those pills.

It hit me like an hurricane. Suddenly, I saw nothing but darkness.

The pain was unreal, no words could describe it. I fell, I fell down on the ground, unable to move, incapable to get back up.

Slowly, I was fading away... to the darkness.

No one could save me.

I was unvisable.

No one could hear me.

I was unable to raise my voice.

Surrounded by total darkness I was losing myself, not knowing if I will ever find myself again. I bought a one way ticket to a two race train.

FALLING RAIN: Chapter Four - "Believe Again"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Four – Believe Again

It was one of those hard working days, that I begun to love and look forward to lately. Since, while working hard – physically – one cannot think about something else besides it, since thoughts about work occupy all your mind.

I was dancing.

Since I was a child, whenever something bothered me, whenever I needed an escape – I would dance.

Dancing is my remedy.

I was rehearsing with my dancers the choreography for my new single, that I was supposed to perform live on the TV soon. It’s name was “Hotter Than Fire”.

A song, which I wrote back in those days when I was happy with Danny, inspired by those magical nights we shared.

The only thing I changed was the word “he” to “she”, you know, to avoid controversy and pain. Pain, that was caused now. When I knew all those days and nights are over, are far-gone forever.

Following few rehearsals in the road, that all of us were simply tired, soaked to the bone. We decided to do a short pause.

After empting all my bottle of mineral water, I have decided to check the time.

When I picked my phone, I saw I had a new text message.

Saade. It’s me, Peter. I need to speak to you as soon as possible about a very important issue. Call me! // London.

My heart missed couple of beats. I had a feeling it was very serious, furthermore, I even knew what Peter was going to tell me.

However, I simply followed his instructions, locked myself in the locker room, and called him.

-“Hi Eric!” He greated me on the phone, and I could tell he was nervious.

-“Hello Peter, long time no seen...” I greated him aswell, worried. I had a very certain idea what London wanted to discuss with me, and his tone scared me.

-“How are you doing, Eric?” He questioned me, I sensed he wanted to check wether I am insane aswell.

-“Fine, thanks. How about you? I’m a bit confused lately.” I answered.

-“Oh, I’m fine. Thank you for asking. Confused? Why is that?” He demanded.

-“You would know. You came here to talk to me about Danny, didn’t you?” I questioned him.

-“Yes. That’s true. He...” He confirmed, and I interrupted him.

-“Is out of his mind, completely?” I completed his sentence.

-“Yes, and there’s no-...” He begun to say, and I again – I knew what he was about to say.

-“Nothing you can do?” I guessed.

-“True. How do you know it all?” He asked, surprised.

-“Janna told me. She sent you here, right?” I asked.

-“No, actually it’s my own intention.” He responded. His response, I have to say, catched me off guard for a second.

-“What did Janna say?” He asked me.

-“The same thing you did. Have you tried talking to Danny?” I questioned him.

-“Yes, he wouldn’t speak to me, and it is the exact reason I am here...” He begun to say, clearly, that was going to be the speech Janna has given me.

-“Not you too, you also believe I am the only one who can... change something?” I suggested.

-“Who else does so?” He questioned.

-“Molly and Janna.” I replied.

-“Oh, I see and the answer is: Yes, Eric, I do. If there is any person Danny would open up his heart to - it is you. If there is any person Danny would listen to - it is you. If there is a person who matters Danny – it is you. I know it.” He said.

-“How?” I asked him.

-“He said it himself, when I tried to speak him. You know something? Remember what I told you about Dave? The thing is that Danny reminds me him more and more. This fact does not let me to sleep quietly at night. Eric, do something.” He asked me, almost begging.

-“London, I can’t pull that off. I will only make things worse.” I said.

-“They can’t get any worse than they are now.” He said, in response, and sighed.

-“I...” I begun to say, but he interrupted me – before I even said something.

-“Come on, Eric. I know it will hurt you but... a little pain to save him, to save Danny?” He knew exactly what I wanted to say and how I felt. Have to admit that until I met Peter London, I never believed in the superstitious. But I had some serious doubts since that day.

-“But Danny... He thinks were better be apart. He told me this!” I said in disagreement.

-“And you believed?” He asked, suddenly changing his tone.

-“I did.” I confirmed.

-“You know what I find truly amazing about you? Your always find a strenght within you to believe.” London told me, in a thoughtful voice.

-“London, how it is possible to live if there’s nothing to believe in?” I asked him.

-“True. Then make Danny believe again.” He stated.

Then, I realised he was simply right. I need to do something.

I would never, ever forgive myself if... I couldn’t even think about it.

But what can I do? Speak to Danny?

I remained silent, considering my actions.

-“Eric, take your time and think about it... I know you can do it.” Peter said, trying to motivate me.

-“Alright, Peter... I will.”

-“Thank you so much.”

-“Oh, you’re welcome. I guess I will see you... anytime soon. Am I correct?” I asked.

-“Absolutely. See you!” He confirmed.

-“Yes, goodbye London!” I said, and hang up the phone.

Make Danny believe again. But in what?

FALLING RAIN: Chapter Three - "Love And Death"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

Chapter Three – Love And Death

From the very first steps in life, I wanted to strong. The feeling of power, strenght and freedom hypnotized me. It truly was my so called drug.

All my life I’ve been doing everything to be strong – physically and mentally.

The car accident I was involved in, by my stupidness, was what destroyed, in one second, everything I used to built for ages.

I built it all and watch it fall... like it never existed at all.

The feeling of being weak, of realising I must start working on everything all over again... was what used to bring me down, when I wasn’t thinking of Eric.

This what brought me here, to the gym, and had made me break all the promises I gave to Janna and the doctor.

In addition to that, the past few months I used to spend at home taught me an important lesson. There were a lof of thing in my life I feared, especially my own emotions. In the end, it was what destroyed me – my fears.

If only I could show Eric how I love him.

If only I could make him feel what I feel for him.

If only I would not be afraid to confess my emotions...

Maybe, maybe everything would be different right now.

But, as they say, there’s no turning back, what leaves only one possible direction to follow... direction I do not know where it will lead me.

The end if the beginning of something new, after a period always comes new sentence. A day will always be followed by another one.

Those are the rules of nature.

I had the feeling something new is starting for me, the wind, that carries me on through the steps of life changes it’s way. Furthermore, I knew, that I must leave every single part of my past behind... to follow it.

As it is said, you cannot build a new building from ruins.

I ended all the contacts I had with my friends, from my “past life” as I reffered to it. I wanted to start everything all over again, and I...

After gym, I planned to say goodbye to Janna.

Which was, one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.

To the gym I went accompanied by Peter London, who was already waiting for me at “Aldrig Vila” when I arrived.

-“Hello Peter!” I greated him and smiled.

-“Hi Danny.” He greated me aswell, and we entered the gym.

-“Since when you go to gym?” I asked Peter out of curiousity, after we both finished some exercises – have to say – it felt amazing. Going to gym, and practicing sports in general was not his thing. Clearly.

-“Since... quiet a while. I have perfect attendance.” He said, in a proud tone. What the hell did I miss? Me singing rock music, Peter attending gym... what’s next? Adam Lambert going straight?!

-“Who would have believed... Peter London doing sports. I will call the news!” I said, in a surprised tone and laughed.

-“You’re in delay, someone already did. I saw my pictures yesterday on the internet.” He said, grinning.

-“Haha!” I continued laughing.

-“Well, but my paparazzi record is of course, nothing compared to yours. How do you stand it?” Peter questioned me, with a slight of sarcasm (his native language) noticed in his tone.

-“Here is the problem. I don’t.” I admited.

-“Want to be left alone?” He asked, keeping the cinical tone.

-“Who doesn’t...?” I asked, that was meant to be a rhetorical question, but Peter had the answer to it.

-“The usual celebrities. I noticed the spotlight is like heroin to them.” He said.

-“Yes, but I am not one of those.” I confessed.

-“I’m glad!” He said, and laughed. Then, all of a sudden, his expression and tone completely changed. The free, careless, and happy tone of his was replaced with a nervous tone –“By the way, how are you feeling?” He asked, and looked at me.

-“Good, and you?” I said, trying to decode the hidden meaning that obviously were trapped in his voice, expression and... the question he had asked me.

-“Something happened?” Peter demanded to know. From his tone, it was clear this was a not a question to figure out if something went wrong – but to confirm something went wrong.

-“No... Why?” I said, quietly.

-“You look... nervous, as if you are failing you mathematics final exam.” Jesus christ, how does he notices everything?! I asked Jesus, more correctly: myself – since the first one never answered me.

-“I guess it’s impossible to keep something away from you.” I noted.

-“You are right, it is. Now tell me.” He insisted. And I knew, Peter would never let go.

Peter has a high sensability. He noticed there was something wrong with Dave before he... commited a suicide.

Tough, as Dave would not tell much – and Peter did not insisted on it, in order not to annoy him, the reasons behind my counsin’s death remain unclear.

Time passed, and Peter still cannot forgive himself – the regret and knowledge, that if he... had insisted more – Dave might be alive does not live him.

-“I... can’t.” I said.

-“Danny, I noticed for a while there is something wrong with you. You need to speak out, to get it out of your chest – otherwise it will kill you. Come on, tell me, I can help you - or at least, listen to you.” He explained me.

-“You are right... but please, not here.” I agreed, finally. After all – he was right.

-“Alright” Peter said, and we left the gym.

We walked silently to Crahdiet’s studio, which has become my second home already, and as Peter told me in our way – nobody was there.

-“You know something, Danny?” Peter said in a thoughtful tone.

-“What London...?” I asked him.

-“I am beginning to thing this band is the final station. It kills people, either they run away.” He said, looked down and sighed.

-“Why the hell you think so?” I asked him.

-“What happened with Dave you know, Olli and Simon – left us, because the atmosphere was too depressive for them here. I am beginning to think there is something wrong with us and... I am worried about you.” He admited.

-“Me? Why?” I asked him.

-“Danny, what is the real reason you decided to join us?” He demanded me.

-“I wanted to start things all over again.” I told him.

-“Start?” He asked, in quiet disbelief.

-“Yes.” I confirmed.

-“Oh, are you sure? The more I watch you – I am being conviced you came here to end things, again.”

I could not find an answer to this. I did not have a one. Peter was... as always, simply right.

As much as I tried to convice myself telling a new start will follow for me, deep inside, I knew I am closer to the finnish line.

-“Why, tell me, why are you destroying yourself Danny Saucedo? Why?” Peter said, almost screaming.

-“I...I can’t stand it anymore!!!”

-“Stand what? Danny, you have been in a car accident. Of course, it have negative effects on your body and state of mind. Believe me, it will pass! Don’t give up on yourself. Everything will be alright!” He said, trying to motivate me.

-“It doesn’t change anything. My life has no meaning.” I admited.

-“No meaning...? Why, is it because of Eric?” He asked me. For a moment, I gazed at him with shocking eyes.

-“How... Eric related to this?” I answered him afterwards, pretending I do not know what he is talking about.

-“Come on, we both know I don’t mean Eric Young now.” He said.

-“Then who?” I asked, still pretending I know nothing.

-“Eric Saade.” He said finally, and sighed.

-“How do you...” I asked him, and glared at him – shocked, not believing. It was clear to me now that Peter knows everything. But how?

-“Know it?” He interruped me, and completed my question.

-“Yes. How?” I confirmed and re-asked.

-“I spoke to Eric... he told me.” He confessed.

-“What?!” I shouted, in shock. What the hell is going on here?

-“It was when you were at the hospital, in hard condition. Eric came to the cemetery, where Dave was... burried, and we... talked there.” He told me shortly, tough no more words were needed. Everything could be understood.

-“What the hell...” I said, unable to say anything more.

-“He is worried about you.” Peter said, and put an arm on my shoulder – when he noticed the sadness Eric’s name made me feel.

-“Oh, Peter... I know.” I said, sighed and closed my eyes to fight my tears.

-“Then why...?” He asked.

-“Love is not enough sometimes, Petter. Now please, I want to be alone. See you tomorrow.” I said, and snapped out of the studio. I could not bear to be there anymore. I needed time alone.

One has to face his pain alone.