“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.
Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.
All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(
Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.
Chapter Five – Lose Control
I don’t want to loose control by falling. I just can’t believe it.
Never thought that I would be the one, falling down.
It was a dark, and a cold afternoon. The rain was washing away Stockholm
The rain kept falling on my shoulders, while thoughts were running freely across my mind. All I ever wanted right now was to disappear, to run away, to escape... from myself. Sigh. It was one of the those moments when I hated being me, when I hated being Danny Saucedo.
I’ve begun to walk aimlessly in circles across the streets. I was trying to find something, the light in the end of a dark tunnel, while not even knowing what was I exactly looking for. Or more correctly, I knew it, tough it was too late.
He was gone, far away.
I let the raindrops to wash away all what was left of me, I sighed, and turned my back to everything – everything I ever was once.
When I got back home, Janna was waiting for me in the salon. She was looking at me with questioning expression, and I didn’t even bother to look at her back.
There we were, in total silence, silence filled with tension – that could be turned into an explotion every second.
-“It can’t go on, Danny. Let’s talk it over.” Janna said suddenly, and sighed.
-“There’s nothing to talk about. I’m leaving. It’s over.” I informed here, with a cold, cruel voice – feeling horrible, guilty. I did not recognize myself.
-“Well, if that’s... what you want... Good luck, Danny. I wish you all the best.” She said, and ran out of the room with tears in her eyes.
And I? I simply walked away.
Walked away from my old life, to start another one.
I have found my own way. I have choosed my direction.
But, I don’t know where it goes – where it will lead me.
I felt horrible. I felt as if I was nothing.
At first, I wanted to go back – back to Janna, to Eric.
I wanted to go back to the past.
I wanted to go back to the past.
But then, then I realised I simply can’t.
If once, I had a reason of being, a reason to go on, to follow the path of life.
Now, I have lost it all. Not even a slight is left.
I have reached the end of the tunnel, but there was no light there. It was simply the end. I stopped having believing in myself, and now, there was no one to have believe for me.
I was walking aimlessly around the streets of Stockholm
my beloved home town.
I attempted hard to forget myself, my live.
I attempted hard to be simply forgotten.
my beloved home town.
I attempted hard to forget myself, my live.
I attempted hard to be simply forgotten.
There was only one way known to me to do this. And the thought of it made me realise I was on the edge, one step away from the end.
Once, when I was a little fourteen years old boy, I travelled with my Leo, my brother, and Dave, my cousin to Bolivia
At one of the days of our visit, Leo and Dave took me with them to the local bar. There, we got drunk. So drunk, that personally, I was lying at the street helpless, with a hangover that lasted for the next two days.
I swore to myself that I will never get drunk to that point of loose again.
Until today, I kept my promise. But tonight, I left it all behind and crossed all the lines I once swore to myself I would never do.
I went to one of Stockholm
After few shots of Beer, followed by few shots of Whiskey and Vodka – I was already officially drunk. But, it did not gave me the feeling I was hoping it will.
Then, I realised, that there’s only one way to get the disired effect.
-“Do you know where to get LSD?” I asked the barman, catching him off-guard.
-“What do you want? We don’t sell this stuff here.” He said, hesistating.
-“Sure you do, come on, I’m not a cop or something. I need this trip now.” I ensured him.
-“Money, please. Now.” He ordered.
-“Here you go!” I said, and handed him the money.
-“Go to the toilette, I’ll see you there. You know, man, those kind of things aren’t done in the daylight.” He told me.
-“Daylight?” I said, grinning.
-“You know what I mean...” He said, rolling his eyes.
-“Yes, I do. See you there.” I said, stood up, and followed his instructions.
-“Alright...” He replied, before I left.
I waited at the toillette for few minutes until the Barman appeared. In my opinion, this was the worse toilette I’ve ever seen in my whole life.
-“Here you go...” He said, and gave me some pills of LSD warped in toilette paper.
-“Thank you.” I said, took them, and rushed away from that distusting place.
When I was outside, an inner war started deep inside me.
One side told me to stop this, to throw the Godamn pills away, and get back to the normal life I used to have.
Another side told me to it is impossible, and I should simply swallow the pills, because eventually there’s nothing left for me.
I remembered from what Dave used to tell me that drugs are horrible, that I should stay away from them – and not repeat his mistakes, mistakes that lead him straight to his own death.
But, at the time I was considering my options logical thinking was not something I had. So I simply swallowed one pill, and waited for the reaction.
The reaction did not keep me waiting for a while. Suddenly, all the sadness, the emptyness, the pain... all of them disappeared.
They were replaced by bright lights that blinded me, and beautiful colours that amazed me with their beauty.
I was truly happy. All my problems were far away behind me.
Hipnotized by the lights and colours, I swept throught empty Stockhom’s streets. This time, I wasn’t looking for an escape – because I’ve found it. I got what I wanted, was it what I need? At that point this question did not bother me. I wasn’t considering the effects or thinking about the consequences.
It was getting late, I happy walked round and round throught the streets surrounded by the beautiful twilight lights.
I was so happy that I was singing and dancing in the streets. Yes, I might have seemed to be crazy – but again, it did not bother me at all.
As much as I tried to deny it, deep inside me I knew that I just can’t ignore what people think of me. As much as I wanted to seem strong and confident – in fact I was neither of these. I was like a vapor in the wind.
Suddenly, all my complexes vanished away. Suddenly, I was free – like a bird.
I even felt that I could fly away... away from all the mess in my life.
I was free. My body, my souls – were free.
I kept on singing and dancing in the streets to the moonlight.
Few hours passed, and the effect of the first pill
I had another two pills with me, and I wanted very much to increase the effect the first one gave me. I did not knew by the time what it could do, I did not even think about the consequences. I simply swallowed those pills.
It hit me like an hurricane. Suddenly, I saw nothing but darkness.
The pain was unreal, no words could describe it. I fell, I fell down on the ground, unable to move, incapable to get back up.
Slowly, I was fading away... to the darkness.
No one could save me.
I was unvisable.
No one could hear me.
I was unable to raise my voice.
Surrounded by total darkness I was losing myself, not knowing if I will ever find myself again. I bought a one way ticket to a two race train.
