FALLING RAIN: Chapter One - "New Tomorrow"

“Falling Rain” - Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanfiction story written by Nika H, the admistrator of “Danny Saucedo Fans” at facebook: www.facebook.com/DannySaucedoFans.

Please, do not repost, copy, and/or change any part of this material without asking permission and crediting ME and “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

All events described here are purely fictional, unfortunately :(

Copyright © by Nika H, “Danny Saucedo Fans”.

PROLOGUE – The Audition

-“No.” I said finally after long doubts, and sighed. I considered this option for a while, long days, long nights were spent... so much doubts run across my head until I have finally menaged to decide. –“No.” I said again and sighed.

-“Why not?” Peter demanded. It was clear he would not live me alone until I confess the truth, the things I never told anyone – and to be honest, I do not want to tell. –“Danny, why not? You have to...” He continued.

-“Give it another try? Think a little more?” I completed his phrase, interupting him. –“Peter, look, I already did, believe me. I do not fit it. I cannot pull that off. I will always feel out of place I... just cannot!”

-“Dave would...” He had begun to say, but stopped, when he noticed the tears in my eyes streaming down. When he mentioned my departed cousin, who was like a brother to me, maybe even more... my idol, my inspiration.

-“No, he would not...” I said in tears.

Peter put his hand on my shoulder, and said, in a cheering tone:

-“Come on, Danny, from all the people in the world – Da... I mean, he would want you to continue “Crashdiet”. You know it.”

I did. He was right. I did. But it didn’t change anything.

-“Peter... I can’t!” I said, and looked down – fighting my tears.

-“Why?” He questioned me.

-“You know why, Peter.” He knew exactly why, only he wanted me to admit it.

-“No, I don’t.” He lied away, and I sighed.

-“You just want to make me say it, out loud.” I stated. At this point, unable to control my own tears.

-“Then do it. Man must face his fears, and admit it. Danny, admiting fears is not a weakness – it’s a strenght!” He said.

-“Peter...” I said, unable to continue.

We looked at each other for a while, deep into the eyes – not speaking.

Afterwards, Peter sighed, and said:

-“You are afraid to end up like Dave, aren’t you?” Peter asked me. I had a feeling this was a rhetorical question, since we both knew the answer to it before it was even asked.

-“Yes, I am.” I admited.

-“Oh, and you really believe pop-music changes something?” He asked, while looking deep into my eyes.

-“I do.” I confessed.

-“Well, okay then, Danny. Good luck, oh, and remember – the doors will always be openned for you, if you change your mind at some point. I have a feeling, sooner or later, the day will follow...” He said to me that day.

And I? I simply ran away...

Chapter One – New Tomorrow

Time passed by, but I did not give it a thought anymore. New morning, new tomorrow, day followed by another... yet, all of them, were just the same for me – wasted, thrown away.

I was sick, tired – both physically and mentally from my own life.

I felt lost, all alone by myself – standing in the dark. Without a light that might guide me to the next step.

In the past few months, my life has changed 180º degrees, straight to the opposite direction. From the happy, complete man I was – nothing was left but the pieces of my broken, aching heart.

My physical condition was low, for obvious reason, called the long, exhausting recovery process from the car accident I had few months ago.

I felt so worn out, out of place, never ever in my life I felt this weak.

And mentally... Depression, sadness, tears, thoughts... about the end. All those did not leave me for a second, until the point I considered myself insane.

If not Janna, my girlfriend, I would probably be lying under the gravestone now.

Even ”Thank you” and “I Love you, Janna” I was unable to tell her, such a miserable, cruel creature I was.

I truly hated myself. Not only I distroyed myself, I also made all my family, my girlfriend, my friends... to go through all this mess caused by me being stupid.

And most importantly, Er... Eric.

During all this time, I have continuesly tried to remove Eric’s name, image, and memories of him out of my mind. And I continuesly failed reaching it.

I frequently caught myself lying, trying to convice myself that one day – it will be over, the pain, the tears, the fears, all this mess.

Time heals. But the scares still show.

“Soon, everything will be alright” I used to say to myself. “I will be able to move on, to get through, start things over again... to forget, let go...”.

All those lies I told myself on a daily basis, until the point I sincerely used to believe in them.

Those were my last pieces of hope. Hope that soon, had vanished away – as my eyes were openned, and I woke up from the dream, the ilusion I lived in.

Nothing. Nothing was of me.

Eric. Sigh. No matter how much time passed, how far was the physical, and mental distance between us...

His name always brought up the memories I wanted to bury deep inside me, so they will never pop up, memories I wanted to hide, to forget.

Eric. My lover, my life. My manboy...

At those lonely nights, when I was sleepless, I used to think of him. How is he doing? Has he gotten over me?  I asked myself, secretely hoping for a negative answer for the second question.

As much as I wanted to deny it. I love him. I always did, and I always will.
The thoughts about him really drove me out of my mind.

I knew, what is done – is done, and cannot be undone – no matter how hard I want it, to go back, to change the reality. I can’t. I can’t.

It was one of those days, I had looked at the sky and let my thoughts run freely around my brain. It was one of those days I used to think about my future, look up for solutions for my problems.

I need a change! I thought, It cannot continue this way. I will completely destroy myself if I go on this way. I need a change... before it gets too late.  I realised.

But what kind of change? Where will it lead me?

In the following days, I have given a lot of thoughts to upcoming, planned change. To be honest, I did not know what shall I do. Well, more correctly, I trying to deny it as much as I could – sensing it might be wrong, and lead to... the end. Tough, at this point, when nothing was left of me – no hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending. I did not bother to care, no longer.

I never wanted to do this. I always believed it was not my thing at all.

But at this point, I hated myself so much – that I did not want to be Danny Saucedo anymore. I wanted to change myself alongside with my life, completely.

I have picked up my phone, and dailed the number of probably the only person I could talk to. Peter London.

-“Hello, Peter!” I greated him, as he answered. –“It’s me. I’m Danny.”

-“Oh, Hello there, Danny. We haven’t spoke for quiet a while, how are you doing?” Peter asked me in response.

-“Fine... listen, can we talk?”

-“Sure!” He said, and added: “What are we doing now?”

-“Yes, I know. What I meant was one on one conversation. It’s very important to me, I... I’ll tell you, when we see each other.” I told him.

-“No problem, man. Can I come over you now?” He suggested.

-“Look, Peter, I’m so tired of being stuck at home as a phsycho. Can be please go out... to a bar? There’s one near my appartment for that metter.” I offered.

-“Sure thing. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. See you!”. He accepted my offer.

-“See you, thanks for... coming, Peter.” I said, hang up, and went out.

The smell of fresh air, the taste of freedom... it surprised me a bit at first. It has been a while since I left the house. I even felt homesick at the beginning, tough, as the desire of freedom burned within me – this feeling was gone.

In less than five minutes I was already in that bar, where we agreed to meet each other. After few minutes, Peter had arrived.

-“Look, Peter. I have heard your lead singer had left the band. So, I’m guessing you are looking for another one. I want to try out.” I said to him, straight as he sat down infront of me, without an introduction.

I just let the unspoken words I wanted to say for a while to be told.

The following few minutes were surrounding my silence, Peter looked at me with questining eyes... until his expression changed, and was replaced with a smile.

It was exactly how I realised he understood all I wanted to say, without even opening my mouth to speak out.

He was brilliant. Since the first time we have been introduced to each other, Peter expressed his unique ability to understand everything, and a word was not needed to be said.

-“Welcome back, Danny. I knew you it will occur one day...” He said.

-“Yes, you did. You still remember that conversation?” I questioned him, and he nodded in response.

-“Now,” He said, sighed –“Now, let’s go talking with the others. Martin and Eric.” He added, and looked at me with a strange look I could not decode, that quickly disappeared, before I was able to think.

-“Yes! Let’s.” I said in agreement and stood up.

Peter drove me in his car to Crashdiet’s studio, and watched my... reaction to the car. The accident left traumatic memories regarding cars within me, as much as I knew nothing ought to happen – I still was scared to death in the car, mainly because of the memories that haunted me.

Crashdiet studio itself was located at one of Stockholm’s less “glamorous” streets, in the same place as it was... before, few years ago.

As I entered, I noticed that much did not change her since I used to spend a lot of time there, with the guys, back in 2006.

Martin Sweet, and Er... Eric Young, by whose name painful memories of another Eric I knew were awoken within me.

-“Hello guys!” I greated them, warmly. To be honest, I was happy to see them. I knew they are probably the only people I could talk to about my problems, who would, in addition to listening – also understand me.

-“Look who came! Danny! It’s been a while!” Martin said, and stood up, followed by Eric Young, and reached me.

-“Hello Daniel!” Eric Young greated me, and the three of them – Martin, Eric Young, and Peter - hugged me.

In the first time in all those months full of stress, pain, emptyness and tears... I felt more or less complete, happy, I felt that I belonged there – with the guys.

Which was against all the odds. Was it the new beginning for me, or the road to the end? I did not know yet.