IF ONLY YOU: Chapter No.8 - "Broken Open"

"IF ONLY YOU" Danny Saucedo and Eric Saade fanficion, written by Nika (me).



Please, do not repost it in any place without asking premission and crediting me & my page, thank you! This was written for your pure enjoyment, all events described here are purely fictional (unfortunately).

Chapter Eight – “Broken Open”

We were standing there, nearby his door in silence. Not a single word was said. I couldn’t speak, I was speechless. Danny, well, guess he didn’t wanted to.

The silence became impossible for me, it wasn’t like those moments of silence when words weren’t needed/wanted – it was the silence before the storm, that kind of silence that might kill.

-“It’s over, Eric” Danny said again, I remined silent. I had a feeling he was forcing himself to stay here, to talk to me.

Danny sighed, looked at me, and then turned around – he was about to leave, and I needed to stop him

-“Danny! Wait” I said, and my voice broke, tears were streaming down my face, and I couldn’t stop them. –“Danny! Please, wait...” I said again.

Danny froze, sighed, and slowly turned around toward my direction.

-“Danny...Danny...” I murmured.

-“What Eric?”

-“Tell me, pleae, tell me, why are you doing this to me?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the answer, but I had to ask.

-“Because I’m so sick of this!” He said, in an angry tone, he was about to continue, but I interrupted him.

-“Danny, if it’s because of the stress our relationship is causing you, if the lies you are forced to tell because of it are too much... we can work it out, boy. We can talk things over... Don’t do this, please, I love you.” I said in a quiet, begging voice. I sounded so pathetic.

But what could I do? I just can’t let him go I thought.

-“But I don’t... love you” Danny said in response.

-“You what?” I said, in a shaking voice.

-“Eric Saade, I don’t love you.”

Now I understood. All this time – I was nothing but a playboy to Danny. He never loved me, and all this time – I, Eric Saade, annoying him with my problems.

He just wants to get rid of me, I mean nothing to him.

Danny loved Janna.

-“Ah, ok then...” I said in a dead voice, that was my only reaction.

Danny looked at me with attention now, and then, he said:

-“Eric, I’m sorry boy, I really don’t want to hurt you... I’m sorry” He said in a softer voice now.

-“I know Danny, that’s alright....” I said.

-“Goodbye Eric, take care”
-“We... we can’t stay friends?”

-“No Eric, we can’t – goodbye”

-“Wait! But why?” I demanded, tough I already knew the answer.

-“You know why, Eric” Danny said, and he was, as always – so damn right.

It will be impossible for us to be friends after this, I have lost him – forever.

-“Goodbye Eric” Danny said after another pause, and walked away.

He was gone, carried away by the wind.

It was over.

I walked away, to the steet. It was raining. At least I wasn’t alone, the sky was crying along with me.

I started to aimlessly hang around the city, trying to get lost between the people. All I wanted is to escape from the pain I felt, but it was useless.

With every second the pain had gotten only worse. I could feel it, I could feel every piece of my broken heart aching, and nothing could fix it.

The only person in this world that could have done it, was gone – carried away by the wind.

What shall I do now? Where can I go?  Those questions were floating in my mind, but the harder I tried to answer them – I failed.

Move on?  But I couldn’t even think about it.

Go home?  And what I will tell Molly? How I’m going to explain her why I’m I crying?

“The studio” I said to myself, and felt a sudden relief. I can go to my studio.
I can be totally alone there, nobody will bother me – I will be free to cry all my tears, and fall apart – heartbroken.

I took my car, and drove straight to my studio.

When I arrived, I didn’t even bother to turn neither the lights on, nor the heating system – I sat on the ground, it was cold and dark.

It was a stormy day, the clouds totally covered the sky – there was no sun, no moon, no stars... no lights.

Total eclipse of the sun, total eclipse of my heart, total eclipse of my life.

I lost my love, I lost my way.

The rain kept falling down,  hitting the windows.

It’s going to rain anyway. Nothing matters anymore, and he is not here, and we will never be here, by my side... I whispered.

When I got back to the car, it was 4 in the morning. How ironic! I thought.

I have left my mobile phone in a car, and as a result, I had now 40 unanswered calls, and 24 unreplied SMS.... from Molly.

-“Molly” I said, and sighed. Again, I totally forgot about her existance I realised and fel a twitch of guilt as I drove home.

Molly became so relieved when I entered the room.

-“Eric! Oh Eric! Finally...” She said, as she ran into my arms.

It’s cruel, selfish and unfair to let her suffer because of me. Costs that it costs, I’m going to act things over I thought.

-“Where have you been?” Molly asked me.

Luckily, I was smart enough to prepare the answers in advance when I was in the car.

-“In my studio, crazy writing music” I said, with a fake smile.

Tough everything besides the last two words was actually true.

From Molly’s expression, I could tell she believed me.
She trusted me, trust I did not deserve.

-“Ah, cool!” she said, and added: “Sorry for.... interrupting you” She apologized.
Great! Now she is apologizing to me, now she feels guilty, Oh no I thought.

-“Molly, you did not interrupt me” I said, the last thing I wanted is her to feel bad because of me. I loved her too, after all. Of course it was not as much as I loved...him, but still. The thought of Danny made me feel a twitch of pain... I could feel every broken piece of my heart aching, burning again. I was about to break, but I couldn’t , no – I mustn’t. Molly doesn’t deserve to see that, besides, how the hell am I going to explain her it?
I forced myself to continue –“I have just forgotten the phone in my car, and I realised it only when I got back”.

-“Ah, ok, she said.” She said, -“Something happened? You look a bit... sad?”

The question had caught me a bit off guard, so it took some time to answer it.

-“No, I’m just... tired.”

-“Tired? Eric you look like somebody died!”

Damn, was it that obvious? Guess it was, really, Eric, who do you think you’re fooling now, I guess we... The thought of Danny almost knocked me to the groud this time.

-“Eric!” Molly said in a worried tone, -“Eric, you O.K?” she added.

-“Yes Molly, I am... O.K.”

-“No, you’re not, Eric, maybe you need a doctor....?”

-“No, Molly, I don’t...”

-“What the hell is wrong with you?”

-“I really don’t know.”

-“No, no, Eric, I will call a doctor now.”

-“No! Wait! Molly, please... no doctors....” I said, adding: -“Give me some time, it will pass – I know”

Well, being honest – it will not past, but I’m going to pretend it did. As I said, Molly doesn’t deserve to suffer and worry because of me.

-“Ok, Eric” She said.

I looked at her, and thought I love her, truly I do. It’s not enough, not yet..., and it maybe will never be – But I must try, I must do everything to make it happen.

Danny is gone forever, he will never comeback – he will never love me.

Molly is her, she loves me – I love her. I going do everything to make it enough, I going to  try everything in order to... forget him.

Then, I went toward her and kissed her, she kissed me back.

-“I love you.”

-“I love you too, Eric.” Molly said.

I kissed her again.